A season of beddings and beheadings reached its (somewhat) logical conclusion on Wednesday with the two-hour finale of Tyler Perry’s The Oval.
The finale opens with Victoria giving that “lying ass bitch” Ellie a piece of her mind… along with a side of her fist. “What’s going on?” a confused Ellie asks, to which Victoria helpfully clarifies, “You, bitch! You’re what’s going on!” The First Lady is mistaken, of course, but her anger is justified when you consider how long it took the White House staff to get rid of the bloody mattress upon which Hunter’s previous mistress died. And even when Hunter explains that the panties in question belonged to Denise, not Ellie, Victoria refuses to apologize. And it’s just as well, because Hunter later does sleep with Ellie, shortly after announcing her ludicrous promotion to Press Secretary.
In retaliation, Ellie’s former boss Diane hosts the press conference of the century, outing Ellie and Hunter’s affair. After telling reporters that Hunter likes to reward “pretty young girls who give good head,” she invites Ellie up to the podium to show everyone how she got the job. “Did you rinse after you swallowed?” Diane asks. “You can use my mic to demonstrate. I’ll wash it afterwards.” Before literally dropping the mic, Diane reminds the reporters that she’s perfectly healthy, “so if I happen to die for some strange reason, investigate this a–hole and his entire administration.”
Kyle later explains to Victoria that Denise’s mattress has been “disposed” of. He even shows her the over-the-top footage of him burning it in the middle of a field. But rather than taking comfort in this, Victoria somehow reaches the (not entirely incorrect) conclusion that Kyle is trying to seduce her husband. “Are you trying to get him into your covers?” she asks. “I know you. You’re trying to work my man. You love a challenge. You’re trying to sleep with the president!” She encourages Kyle to go for it, adding that Hunter is “really good, and a freak.” And in true Victoria fashion, she ends the exchange with some thinly veiled shade. “Ma’am, I’m a former ranger,” Kyle says. “I can take a lot.” To which she replies, “That’s what they tell me, honey.” (Yes!)
As for her pesky children, Victoria decides to have Jason and Gayle’s grandmother take them somewhere far away. Neither of the troubled teens are thrilled about being shipped off, but Jason’s method of lashing out is especially disturbing. “My parents suck. I wish they were dead,” he tells Jane, before asking, “Do you suck? Your job is to make us comfortable.” When she attempts to refuse his advances, he chokes her to death and slides her body under his bed. Like father, like son. (Come to think of it, we still don’t know who killed Denise, do we? Ugh, this show!)
Victoria’s mother eventually arrives to pick up “these things you call children,” taking the opportunity to remind Jason that she hasn’t forgotten about the time he pleasured himself under the table during their most recent luncheon. (How could anyone forget that?) We don’t know exactly what Jason and Gayle’s grandmother has planned for them at the country house, but I have to assume that “riding horses” and “fishing” are code words for far more nefarious activities.
Because confrontation — especially when it involves her family — makes Victoria weirdly horny, she decides to finally execute her plan to seduce Sam. “Look at my body,” she says after luring him into her bedroom. “Can you tell I work out?” The whole thing unfolds like a bad porn scene, complete with her asking him, “Don’t you want to f–k the First Lady?” To his credit, Sam manages to walk away before Victoria takes things too far, but Priscilla has her suspicions when she notices that he’s still standing at attention after meeting with her.
Meanwhile, Donald learns that Lilly has filed for divorce, prompting Kyle to “take care of her” at long last. I’d say it’s disturbing how quickly Donald accepts the idea of murdering his wife, but when you remember that he’s been a cheating sociopath all season, his behavior starts to track.
Elsewhere, Barry decides that the best way to move past Sharon’s cheating is by ignoring that it ever happened, probably because he’d also like to forget about driving his truck into Kareem’s pharmacy and accidentally shooting his own father. He says he can’t bare to think about Kareem “f–ing what’s mine,” so he tells her, “We’re not going to talk about until I’m over it. Or past it. Or something.” (Healthy!) He also refuses to discuss whether he’s selling drugs on the side… which means he’s definitely selling drugs on the side. (Honestly, I’m a little torn over this new development for Barry. On one hand, I don’t want him to become a criminal. On the other hand, I’d love for him to become interesting. So let’s just see where this goes.)
Barry’s next stop is to confront the religious sex cult that kidnapped his daughter. (Remember that storyline?) This leads to his long-awaited reunion with Ruth, who explains that their daughter is with “The Highest.” Because she refuses to tell Barry anything more, he throws her in the back of his car and drives off. (I’m really going to have to start watching The Oval‘s Ruth-centric spinoff on BET+, aren’t I?)
Lastly, Nancy also summons the courage to return home, though Richard refuses to accept her back until she reveals the name of Picky’s father. (In other news, I thought the character’s name was “Pinky” until last week. You learn something new every day!) “I’m going to make your life here hell,” Richard tells her, because apparently this is the week where every character suddenly reveals their true nature.
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