On Friday’s Drag Race All Stars, RuPaul gave the girls a sewing challenge and she gave us what we like.(Sorry.) But before the remaining five queens could strut their stuff at the Charles Family Backyard Ball, they had some issues to work through.
Picking up shortly after India Ferrah’s elimination, the episode began with Alexis Mateo tearfully thanking the girls for standing by her after last week’s scandal. Because only one person (India) voted to send her home, Alexis assumed that no one believed India’s claims of a conspiracy against Shea Coulee. However, Shea was quick to clarify that she strongly considered giving Alexis the chop and that she’d be keeping an eye on her moving forward.
The India-Alexis drama came up a second time when the queens discovered personalized letters from India at their work stations. None of the letters were especially, ahem, noteworthy… except for one: “Alexis, I still love you,” India wrote. “Open your heart.” After reading the oddly cryptic message a few times, Alexis said what we were all thinking: “You don’t love me, bitch.” Accurate.
Then came this week’s maxi challenge: Using store-bought backyard accoutrements, the queens had to create characters (complete with backstories and earth-shattering family secrets!) to attend Ru’s down-home soiree. This would be followed by a “backyard eleganza” runway, to which Jujubee posed a very fair question: “What the f–k is backyard eleganza? I don’t have a backyard. I live in Boston.”
The end result, like most family gatherings, was a mixed bag of nuts. Miz Cracker had the judges laughing as Ru’s evil cousin on the hunt for a kidney, Jujubee and her big floppy hat made an iconic entrance (“Sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come!”); Blair’s “stanky” character brought enough baby food and amoxicillin for everyone; Shea (aka Shea-quita, aka “Li’l Kiki”) rocked a Grandrea Zuckerwoman shirt; and Alexis played a… salsa-dancing beauty student? It was a choice.
Overall, the queens found more success on the runway this week. Cracker brought Fifth Avenue to the backyard with an upscale-yet-sporty look, Jujubee rocked a fruity little number, dubbing herself “the watermelon lady”; Blair gave us a half-baked taste of “high-fashion couture”; Shea served backyard bridal realness; and Alexis donned a big red dress… with a baby pool underneath. Another choice! (Shout-out to Shea for apparently helping most of her competitors, by the way. When I heard her say “If one of us looks good, we all look good,” I couldn’t help but wonder… is it possible for a queen to win the whole season and take home Miss Congeniality?)
Given her consistent performances in both the challenge and the runway this week, Cracker was a no-brainer pick for top All Star. But could she stand her ground against lip sync assassin Roxxxy Andrews? Cracker put up a pretty decent fight, but the minute Roxxxy dropped her feather coat — let alone when she stripped down to that bodysuit with “thick and juicy” on the butt — it was game over.
With a heavy heart, Roxxxy announced that the queen voted to get the chop was… Alexis Mateo. At least she sashayed away looking sickening, no?
Do you think the right queen went home this week? Cast your vote in the poll below, then drop a comment with your thoughts on the Top 4: Shea, Cracker, Jujubee and Blair.