It’s ironic, in an episode of Labor of Love filled with the cries of simulated infants, that the most grating sound is the whiny complaining of a fully grown man.
This week, Marcus apparently looked up “reality show game play” on Google and decided that he was going to “mastermind” — his words — the situation to ensure that his biggest competition would get sent home. Except it didn’t really work, and now the doc and two others are in Kristy’s Final 3.
Read on for the highlights of “You’ve Got Babies.”
At 2:27 am, Kristy is woken up by the sound of a baby crying in her living room. She comes out to find Kristin Davis there, ready to hand her a doll designed to act and sound like a newborn. “I didn’t exactly have time to prepare for this,” Kristy interviews, cradling the kid — but you had time to do full makeup? Just wondering — “but I’m hoping I’ll catch on quickly.” Kristin explains that a Bluetooth bracelet will connect each doll to its parent, and the thing will randomly cry when it needs to be rocked, changed, fed or burped.
The stork has visited the men’s house, as well, and trashed it to boot. Not only do the guys have to attend to their little bundles of joy, they have to tackle a list of chores — all the better to understand demands put on new moms. Trent, Marcus and Gary strap their kids to their chests in slings and get to work; Stewart and Kyle are far more focused on bonding with their babies than on tidying up, which irks the other three.
Even worse? When it comes to scoring how all of the faux new dads did with their children — a total based on how often they attended to the dolls’ needs, as well as whether or not they mishandled the little buggers — Kyle comes out on top. “It’s Kyle’s chance to shine and my chance to make the floor shine,” Marcus mopes in an interview. But Kyle makes a good point in front of Kristy and Kristin: Spending time with a new baby is far more important than cleaning, and “The stuff on the floor doesn’t matter.” The other guys range from meh to downright abusive with their dolls — Trent did a cartwheel with the kiddo lashed to him, which a) should surprise no one and b) registered as “shaken baby” (!) on the device — and Gary, especially, seems not to have taken the whole drill very seriously… something Kristy notes with displeasure.
Marcus and Trent think they were done so dirty that they pay Kristy a visit to tattle on Stewart and Kyle. Kyle, in particular, “doesn’t care about anyone but himself,” Marcus says. Trent doubles down by saying, “Maybe you like really tall narcissists. And if you do, go that route.” OUCH.(Side note: Let’s talk about what Kristy’s wearing for this meeting, shall we? She’s got a blousy, white button-down and denim shorts, hoop earrings and a casual updo, and something about the whole look is giving me Big Kelly McGillis Energy. I feel the need, the need for speed!)
Let’s move on to the dates! Every guy gets some time with Kristy this week, and she’ll use the one-on-one meet-ups to determine whose hometowns she wants to visit in the next episode. Trent is the first; he and Kristy meet with a psychologist who has Trent verbally lead a blindfolded Kristy through the most low-stakes obstacle course you’ve ever seen. Next up is Marcus, who spends his time with Kristy petting kittens. Gary’s date takes place in the pouring rain — and I feel like we don’t see most of it — but it ends with both of them sitting cross-legged on the dining room table, 16 Candles-style. Kristy and Stewart go rappelling, during which she knocks into him so hard, he takes a really rough fall against the rock face. (But he’s OK!) And she does aerial yoga with Kyle but the date ends with her in tears after he talks about how there’s gameplay going on in the house, “Marcus more than anyone.” In a voiceover, a bereft Kristy tells us, “Marcus has been my frontrunner for a long time.”
When it comes to Decision Time, Stewart is the only one immediately safe. In conversations, Kristy tells Kyle she just wanted a chance to kiss him (because she hadn’t after their date went south), and she tells Gary and Trent that she doesn’t have the same connection with them that she has with the other guys So, adios!
Then it’s time for Marcus, whom she confronts about all the weird stuff he’s been doing. “I’m literally like the least competitive human being,” he scoffs, but she immediately levels him with A LOOK. “Marcus, no,” she says, and it’s both a sentence and a judgment. But then he cries, and she says that’s the type of honesty she wants from him, and then she allows him to stay for another week.
So the Final 3 are: Marcus, Kyle and Stewart. Pack your bags, Kristy, because you’ve got some traveling ahead of you!
Now it’s your turn. What did you think of the episode? Sound off in the comments!