You know you’re in for an insane episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars when someone yells “You’re a shady bitch for doing that!” less than five minutes in. Friday’s installment picked up moments after Manila Luzon’s ludicrous elimination at the hands of Naomi Smalls, who played coy when asked to explain her controversial decision.
In person, she kept her answer vague, attributing it to “a lot of different reasons.” But in her confessional, she admitted, “I sent her home because I wanted to,” acknowledging that Manila was also “crazy competition.” Another reason, which she eventually revealed, was that she owed Latrice for saving her one week prior.
Monet X Change then revealed that she also chose Manila’s lipstick, though she was considerably less sorry about it than Naomi. “I’m a petty bitch from Brooklyn,” she explained. “I wish I could have done it on stage!”
This triggered the wrath of Trinity, who put both queens in their respective place before exiting the conversation. “I’m gagged that Manila is gone,” she said. “This was her first time in the bottom and she’s won the most challenges. Manila deserved to be in the competition, so far, until the end. … I definitely think that, up until now, the eliminations have been pretty fair. But now it’s all out the window.”
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This week’s maxi challenge found the queens performing a highly unauthorized Sex and the City sequel titled, what else, Sex and the Kitty Girl 3. And because Ms. Smalls was last week’s winner, she also got to play casting director, putting herself in the plum role of Carrie Bradshaw. (Sorry, I mean, “Sarah.” Seriously, I cannot possibly overstate how unauthorized this was.)
Rounding out the cast of this disaster movie was Trinity as sex-crazed “Kim,” Latrice as lawyer-turned-politician “Cynthia,” Monet as prissy art dealer “Kristin” and Monique as “K-Jo,” the ’80s party girl who fell out of a window — because of course this show would resurrect Kristen Johnston’s character.
As the judges would later relay to the queens, the finished product wasn’t exactly brown cow stunning. Trinity and Monique did what they could to keep the movie afloat (with a minor assist from Latrice), but they simply couldn’t support the others. And what the heck was that clown segment? The fact that Emmy Award-winning guest judge Felicity Huffman had to sit through this mess in its entirety is honestly a crime against the arts.
Following a “cat couture” runway — which Trinity and Monique won with their tiger bodysuit and Puss in Boots homage, respectively — Ru announced, “If you’re not in the top, you’re in the bottom.” This sent the other three queens into a damn tizzy, as they each scrambled to ensure that their lipstick wouldn’t be chosen at the end of the night.
Following an ’80s-tastic battle to the tune of Janet Jackson’s “When I Think of You,” Trinity was named thee winner. And she used her power to send Latrice packing for the second time this season.
In other Drag Race news, VH1 announced that Season 11 will premiere on Feb. 28 at 9/8c, with new episodes now airing on Thursdays. Watch a promo below:
Do you think the right queen went home this week? Cast your vote in the poll below, then drop a comment with more of your thoughts.