Twin Peaks Recap: Much Ado About Hurling — Plus: Is [Spoiler] Truly Back?

Twin Peaks Recap The Return Part 3 Episode

Need to catch up? Check out the previous Twin Peaks recap here.

If you ever watched Twin Peaks‘ original run and thought, “Man, what this show really needs is an extended, highly disgusting vomit sequence,” then this week’s episode of the revival is your bile-soaked gift from the universe.

In just a moment, I’ll explain (in as little detail as possible) exactly what I mean. For now, suffice to say that regurgitation plays a big role in bringing Special Agent Dale Cooper back into our world, although whether he’s fully here — in body, mind and spirit — remains to be seen.

Read on for the highlights of “The Return: Part 3.”*

*For those who are confused: Showtime released Parts 3 and 4 via its app immediately following the revival’s premiere on Sunday. These episodes will air back to back at 9/8c this Sunday. TVLine will post a recap of Part 4 later this week.

RED WOMEN TELL NO TALES | Good Cooper continues falling through a starry void, eventually landing on what looks like a balcony overlooking a wide, dark sea. He enters the building that’s attached to the balcony and encounters a woman in read velvet whose eyes are sewn shut. Or melted shut. Or something like that. Long story short: She can’t see. Much of the motion in these scenes is stop-motion-y, Boomerang-esque; eventually she grabs his hands, traces his face and frantically gestures for him to be quiet when someone or something starts knocking on the door

He notices a rectangle on the wall behind them; the spot looks like an electrical outlet and a small vault had a baby. The number 15 is displayed prominently on (what I’ll call) the vault, and when Cooper approaches, some kind of force pushes him away. As the knocking intensifies, the woman has Coop follow her up a ladder and through a hatch until they’re standing on top of a small black box with a mound on top that looks like the cover to a baby bottle. Did I mention that they’re back in the starry expanse Coop fell through before? She pulls a lever on the box, acts like she’s getting electrocuted, then is yanked away by some unseen force and falls until she disappears. A giant head floats by, says “Blue Rose,” then disappears.

When Coop returns inside, another woman in red — this one with normal eyes — is sitting on a couch in front of a fire. “When you get there, you will already be there,” she backward-speaks to him. “You’d better hurry. My mother’s coming.” He notices that the number on the vault has turned to three… and it’s 2:53 on both the woman’s watch and — when we flash away — on the dashboard clock as Evil Cooper drives.

Good Cooper leans into the forcefield, which seems to vaporize him as it draws him through the vault’s slots. Pretty soon, he disappears completely (except for his shoes).

WILL THE REAL DALE COOPER PLEASE STAND UP? | Meanwhile, in the car, Evil Cooper starts seeing visions of the Red Room, clamping a hand on his mouth like he’s going to be sick and weaving all over the road until he winds up hitting a shoulder at high speed and completely flipping the car. There’s a strange, static-y sound hissing from the car’s cigarette lighter — it’s the same sound that was coming from the vault, and it’s the same sound that’s emanating from a wall socket at a suburban home where a man named Dougie (who looks like a doughier, badly bewigged version of Cooper) has just had a tryst with a hooker named Jade.

While Jade showers, Dougie puts on his sportscoat and jade signet ring, then grips his belly and falls to the ground. He crawls to the living room of the vacant home they’ve used for the occasion, then proceeds to puke violently. All of a sudden, a giant BOOM sounds, and Dougie is yanked right outta that universe and plopped down in the Black Lodge. The One-Armed Man tells him, “Someone manufactured you for a purpose, but I think now that’s been fulfilled.” Then he basically shrinks into nothingness until he turns into black smoke and a golden orb. The One-Armed Man covers his eyes.

THE END OF BOB? | I wish I’d covered my eyes when we cut back to Evil Cooper, who barfs up what looks like a mixture of creamed corn and the blackness of his soul, then keels over in the car. Cops who eventually arrive on the scene grab their eyes and faces like they’ve been gassed. And back at that empty house in the suburbs, black smoke billows from the electrical outlet until Good Cooper is lying there on the ground, sans shoes. He’s back! (I think!)

The hooker insists on calling Coop “Dougie” even though she notes that he’s got new clothes, a new build and a new haircut. But she’s weirded out by the fact that he seems to be in a daze, so she drops him at a nearby casino and gives him $5 to call for help. (Side note: Judging from the sniper waiting for him to leave the house, seems like “Dougie” is on someone’s hit list.)

At the casino, Dale shuffles around until he sees a shimmering apparition of the Red Room over various slot machines. Whenever he plays those one-armed bandits, he wins. He’s racked up $28,400 but he doesn’t care. WHY IS NO ONE HELPING THIS CLEARLY ADDLED MAN? At least his Great Northern hotel key is still in his pocket, so there’s hope there.

At an FBI office, an agent named Tammy briefs Deputy Director Gordon Cole and Agent Albert Rosenfield (aw, hi guys!) on the deaths of Bland Guy and Tracy from the season premiere. (Bottom line: All those cameras in the room didn’t really catch anything.) Then Cole gets a call about Cooper and excitedly announces that the three of them are “headed to the Black Hills of South Dakota!”

BACK AT HOME… | Back in Twin Peaks, Hawk is sure that his heritage will help him solve Cooper’s disappearance. And that’s a very good thing, because Andy and Lucy are even less of a brain trust now than they were a few decades ago. (Side note: I loved the “Donut Disturb” sign, though.) Out in the woods, Dr. Jacoby has rigged up an apparatus specifically to help him spray-paint those shovels gold. Meanwhile, a band called The Cactus Blossoms play The Bang Bang Bar, and I am enough of a sucker to watch their entire performance, thinking we’ll get some dramatic action on the other side of it. But all we get is the credits.

Your turn. Got thoughts on the episode? Sound off in the comments!

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