Determined to figure out why “Dr.” Munsch really got into the medical field, Zayday and Chamberlain headed straight for the hospital’s archives, where they learned the entire staff was murdered in 1986. (That includes Laura Bell Bundy’s character, thus nixing my theory that she could have been a younger version of Kirstie Alley’s pill-popping nurse.)
That’s when Munsch dropped a truth bomb on the junior detectives: She’s been experiencing headaches, joint pain and night shivers for the past eight months. “I started [the hospital] find out what this disease was before it kills me,” she explained.
Zayday eventually deduced that Munsch has kuru (a real thing!), which she contracted by unknowingly eating another human during a recent trip to New Guinea — a piece of information Nurse Hoffel was particularly interested to hear.
SQUASH BALLS TO THE WALLS | Tuesday’s episode also featured the triumphant return of Chad Radwell, now the lead singer of a band called (what else?) Gold-Plated Nutsack. After spooking Chanel in the Red Devil costume — he was apparently also the one who attacked her in the closing moments of the Season 1 finale — Chad staked his claim to Chanel’s lady parts during a characteristically homoerotic shower encounter with Dr. Holt. He also uncovered the original owner of the not-so-good doctor’s hand: Marshall Winthrop, a champion squash player-turned-serial killer! (Man, they’re really knocking off our burning questions left and right.)
HESTER, PESTERED | Speaking of long-awaited returns, Munsch — following the advice of Quantico superfan Denise Hemphill — turned to Hester for answers about the man (or woman) behind the green mask. She claimed to know the identity of the killer, adding that the clues are right under the staff’s noses, but refused to give up any more information until the she received all of the items on her list of (mostly out-of-stock) beauty products, as well as a room at Munsch’s hospital.
BOILED OVER | Last, but certainly not least, Arrow‘s Colton Haynes guest-starred as this week’s medical mystery, a “super hot” Encyclopedia Brown fanatic named Tyler whose body was covered in tumors. He and No. 5 struck up Beauty and the Beast-style romance, but unlike the tale as old as time, this one didn’t have a happy ending; the episode ended with the serial killer toasting poor Tyler to death on the operating table.
Any new theories about who’s behind the mask? Drop ’em in a comment below.