Scandal Recap: Drunk History

Scandal Recap Fitz Girlfriend

Thursday’s Scandal was pretty weird. Like, Liv-and-Mellie-drinking-and-laughing-in-comfortable-loungewear weird.

As I predicted last week, Olivia fully regretted encouraging Mellie to bare her soul, especially when her thoughts about Fitz’s affair — she said Olivia freed her and finally gave her “space” — turned out to be highly unpublishable. But once Liv got a little several mason jars of liquor in her, she was able to rewrite the presidential hopeful’s history with a slightly more empowering angle.

Here’s the updated version: “You had the power the whole time. It just took you longer to realize!” And to say that Mellie took the ball and (drunkenly) ran with it would be a disservice to Liv’s brilliant plan; publishers be damned, the First Lady leaked her manifesto — and the nation ate it up like Pope-corn. Even that Republican goddess Sally Langston referred to Mellie as a “forcible” candidate, which is the closest thing you’ll get to a Langston endorsement without her literally baptizing you.

Elsewhere this week…

BUSINESS & PLEASURE | If you look up “unprofessional” in the dictionary — presuming it’s a dictionary that was updated after this episode aired — you’re likely to find a picture from Fitz’s “interview” with Lillian Forrester (guest-star Annabeth Gish, who’s apparently making a pit stop in D.C. before returning to close out The X-Files.) Anyway, Lillian barely got two words out before admitting to having a crush on Mr. President, and she ended up leaving with something better than an interview: a dinner date! (For the record, I’m not even mad that Fitz is dating someone other than Liv. I’m just genuinely concerned that this poor “reporter” has no idea who what she’s in for.)

THE LAST (POLITICAL) UNICORN | At Elizabeth’s behest, David wined and dined Susan — and by “wined and dined,” I mean pumped her full of Freedom Fries at Gettysburger — as part of a larger diabolical scheme to get her into the Oval Office. But even with all that raw Rosen charm at his disposal, David wasn’t able to convince the “political unicorn” to run… or so he thought. I have so many questions about the current David-Elizabeth-Susan storyline right now, but I think the most important one to address is: This has to end in a threesome, right?

Odds and Ends:

* Ross/Langston 2016, amirite?

* Just kidding — Carlos Solis for President! (I’m really glad Ricardo Chavira is back on my TV. I’m also glad they’re giving Cyrus a purpose, albeit a potentially villainous one.)

* I loved when Liv and Mellie broke out in simultaneous laughter over the word “commit.” I feel like it’s become a universally understood truth that Fitz is the worst.

* And I hate that Olivia is still boning Jake. She’s making me want to climb through my TV and recite Tyra Banks’ entire Top Model speech verbatim.

Your thoughts on this week’s Scandal? Hopes and fears for what’s still to come this season? Drop ’em all in a comment below.

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