And you thought seeing everyone’s favorite self-described “exorcist, demonologist and master of the dark arts” on Arrow was going to be the Constantine highlight of your week.
On Friday, Constantine showrunner Daniel Cerone — as a thanks to fans who retweeted an Arrow promotion — released a script via Twitter for what would’ve been the next episode of the cancelled NBC drama.
And because we miss the series as much as all you Hellblazers out there, here’s a brief overview of the installment and some highlights:
* The Evil of the Week is a reanimated corpse who comes after the group of young people who accidentally almost killed him… and then on-purpose really killed him. Given the corpse’s desire to cleave its victims into pieces, it becomes known as a “meat cutter.”
* Constantine and Zed work together throughout the episode; Chas is nowhere to be found. And Manny, whom we know is working against the exorcist rather than with him? Constantine notes that Manny is their friend “when he wants to be. The rest of the time, he’s worth bugger-all squared. Working his angles and Earth-bound agendas.”
* While investigating a different meat cutter, Constantine runs into Judith, an old friend from his Newcastle days. She’s a katana-wielding punk rocker, and their reunion goes a little something like this: John and Judith stand in the blood-streaked mess hall, arms around each other intimately, locked in a deep kiss.
* After John and Judith have some loud sex back at the house, we learn that she used to be able to dream the future but now she just has dreams told from the meat cutters’ perspectives. (Yeah, there are more than one.) So she hunts them down. And when she gets a lead on this episode’s main baddie, John sings her a sad song about all of his other dead friends until she agrees to take him along on the hunt. (A few more people we meet this episode die, but you probably guessed that already, right?)
* Of course, he’s kinda lying, as is his nature: John realizes that Judith, who seemed to be the only member of the Newcastle gang to have herself together after Astra’s tragic damnation, had actually unleashed the meat cutters by doing some dark magic in an attempt to take a sin off her own karmic permanent file. And even though Constantine is able to save her — and end the meat cutter — by doing another spell, Judith is pissed that he was so shady about the whole endeavor. “What are you going to do when you’ve killed off everyone you’ve ever cared about?” she demands.
* It should be noted that Zed saves John’s life at one point (by hurling a knife) and tosses off a quippy one-liner at the same time.
* How does it end? Judith turns and keeps walking. John, not having the heart to argue, watches her go. As Judith walks away, PULL BACK to reveal CROWS GATHERING in the trees — HUNDREDS of them in a harbinger of the Rising Darkness. The crows TAKE FLIGHT IN A BLACK CLOUD, flying over John and into the night. FADE TO BLACK
* Choice Constantine-isms from the hour: “argy-bargy,” “All foam, no lager,” and “That was the dog’s bollocks.”
Thoughts on Constantine‘s kinda-continuation? Do you plan to watch Matt Ryan reprise the character on Arrow on Nov. 4? Tell us about it in the comments!