Vampire Diaries Jo Alive

Vampire Diaries Recap: Wake-Up Ball

It’s aliiiiiive!

Bonnie and Alaric’s ongoing Frankenstein experiment finally bore fruit on Thursday’s Vampire Diaries, though it wasn’t Mr. Saltzman’s dearly departed who returned to the living — at least not at first.

Oscar, the stoner heretic who died (for the second time) at Valerie’s hand last week, was once again made free to run amok in Mystic Falls, turning the beloved town into an all-you-can eat buffet. My personal favorite meal came in the form of a tour bus hoping to catch a glimpse of some spooky activity. [Insert joke about being careful what you wish for here.]

You’d think that after all that trouble, coupled with the knowledge that the Phoenix Stone turns dead people into living nightmares, Bonnie and friends would abandon their quest to revive Jo. Unfortunately, that kind of decision would require clarity and sense — two things that seem to be in short supply this season.

It’s funny, I was pretty torn up when Kai initially knifed Jo in the baby-machine at the end of Season 6, but if I knew what bringing her back would entail, I never would have wished for it. (This week’s final, eye-opening scene was thoroughly haunting… and not in a good way.)

Elsewhere this week…

Vampire Diaries Stefan CarolineSPELL’S DOWN! SEXY TIME! | Thursday’s episode immediately turned from Halloween to Christmas for Team “Steroline” as Ms. Forbes’ hands-off spell was finally lifted, clearing all traffic on the couple’s road to Pound Town. Well, almost all the traffic; their foreplay (Forbes-play?) was briefly interrupted by Caroline, who felt the need to vocalize her concerns about Stefan’s history with Valerie. Fortunately, Mr. Hero Hair was able to quell her fears — for now, at least — with a single sentence: “You and I have had more history in the last five years than most people have in a lifetime.” Caroline’s post-coital expression implied that she still has her doubts, and while I’d like to think Valerie is merely a light bump on the couple’s journey to happily-ever-after, I can’t exactly un-see the flash-forward in which Caroline refuses to speak with Stefan. Gulp.

STRANGE BEDFELLOWS | Speaking of Valerie, the keeper of Stefan’s virginity formed a surprising — and most unholy — alliance with Enzo this week. While Enzo remains loyal to Lily, the prospect of Julian returning to her life doesn’t sit well with him for reasons obvious to anyone who witnessed his embarrassing (aka unreciprocated) confession of love a few weeks ago. Valerie, of course, has her own reasons for wanting to keep the baby killer at bay, even if it means lying to her “mother” in the process. (Spoiler alert, and I can say this without having seen any future episodes: This is not going to end well for anyone.)

alaric-childrenDAD-LARIC?! | Now, it’s time for my favorite part of recapping Season 7: dissecting this week’s wacky flash-forward! For starters, we saw that Alaric is living in a lovely house with a pair of mildly creepy twin daughters, which made a lot more sense when Jo opened her own eyes at the end of the hour. (I guess her unborn children are also revived?) But because no one on The Vampire Diaries is allowed to be happy for too long, Damon arrived on the scene to warn Alaric about a pretty significant danger on the horizon. I say, bring it on!

LET IT HER GO | We should also probably discuss Damon’s decision to stop obsessing over Sleeping Beauty Elena, a revelation I was pretty surprised to see this early in the season. Inspired by a few words of wisdom from Lily (“This boyish refusal to let her go will only put her in more danger”), Big D decided to put down his (metaphorical) sword and pick up his (literal) pen. “I don’t know who I am without you,” he wrote (in a journal!), “But as long as I’m with you, time will stand still.” That’s deep, man.

OK, TVD fans, let’s talk: Were you relieved to see Caroline’s spell undone? Surprised by Damon’s decision to let Elena go? Super-nervous at the sight of Jo’s eyes opening? Drop a comment with your review of the episode, plus your newest flash-forward theories, below.

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. Annie says:

    After reading recaps for this season so far I definitely feel that my decision to jump ship after last season was the right one. Yikes.

    • Sharon says:

      I have all 4 episodes on my DVR and I agree that these recaps make it harder and harder for me to want to watch them. I don’t like romantic Steroline and I really worry about what they are doing and going to do to Caroline this year.

    • Alexa says:

      Yes but now with the ff I think it’s becoming interesting. Alaric and his twins…where’s Caroline. LOL Damon finally moving on from the dopplegangers? My poor Stefan how’s he going to feel about almost being a father? I wish the baby would’ve lived. I’m more interested in him and Valerie than sterobore. The flash forward and the ending with Damon were the only interesting parts.

    • MFL says:

      I thought I was the only one…. I have this season on DVR but have not watched any epi as yet…I am reading the weekly recaps and I’m still not motivated enough to start watching.

  2. Riana says:

    This recap mentions nothing of everyone’s favorite heretic couple.

  3. Merida says:

    This episode was the BOMB. Steroline is adorable. Bonnie is badass. The Phoenix Stone story is creepy and AWESOME. And Lily is the greatest.

  4. Maren says:

    wasn’t a spoiler leaked that Caroline is the ‘mother’ of the twins as they get spelled into her womb

  5. Alisha says:

    I liked the ep.. the bamolaric scenes were creepy but fun.. the ff has me genuinely intruiged and regardless of what anyone says abt them, Stefan & Caroline were on fire tonight.. love love love…

  6. Teri Plautz says:

    moving on only in the sense that, in damons words, until she wakes up and comes back to him. also i dont know how much moving on he does considering in three years he’s seen desicating right along with her in his own coffin.

  7. Summer says:

    I’m actually loving this season!! The flash forwards each episode keep things really interesting

  8. TVDLuva2009 says:

    Damon just needs to let Elena go. This obsession he has with her is sick, imo. All she is to me is what Katherine COULD HAVE been if she weren’t such a shrew.

    • zed says:

      Yep. Damon had transfered his obsession for Katherine onto Elena, and the wine thing just proves it. It’s not true love. It’s an obession loud and clear. Actually, he now actually should be on the road of self-discovery – but it’s not gonna happen! To me it feels like a last episode of The Vampire diaries! R.I.P.

  9. Luli says:

    Love Steroline, and love Lily and the herectics. This season has been great, and those flash forwards are killing me! so good.

  10. liame says:

    I guess I’m the only one that got back to back same episodes of “The Originals”. (8-9-10pm)…Time Warner “YOU SUCK”!!!!!!!

  11. Chris says:

    I really hope one or both of these two heretic chicks die. They are horrible and bratty and I don’t care about their relationship. I know TVD wants to appease the LBGT community, but Luke was actually likable and useful and he went out selflessly and heroic. Maybe he was a bit more boring, but he wasn’t insufferable like these two chicks.

    And I don’t like Valerie either. Damon should have told Stefan when he had Elena and then Stefan should have killed the couple while he had them captured. Heck, if I was Caroline, I’d give Klaus a call. I’m sure he’d want the heretics dead. You can’t have people that powerful running around.

    I want to see them more proactive about getting rid of these new characters. Come on, Damon. Be Damon and save Mystic Falls!

  12. Maryann says:

    How realistic is it that Damon and Stefan wouldn’t ask The Originals for help clearing the Heretics out of Mystic Falls? Seems to me like they would at least discuss it. True, a crossover is not going to happen, and if it did, it would totally derail The Vampire Diaries plotline, so on a meta basis, it can’t happen. But still, it seems to me something they would at least discuss with each other.