Revenge Recap: Old Flames

Revenge Recap

“I wish you would step back from that ledge my… estranged cokehead half-sister who wants me dead.”

That’s the tune Emily sang on Sunday’s Revenge as Charlotte attempted to nosedive off the roof of her hotel. Jack’s new cop buddy Ben — who remains warm for Emily’s form — managed to pull Charlotte off the edge, but she was still a shattered young lady. And just like Humpty Dumpty, there wasn’t a single thing capable of piecing Charlotte back together; not even the truth.

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Emily thought that by admitting to kidnapping Charlotte and finally telling her about their mutual father, everything would be OK — but Char wasn’t exactly buying Em’s “I didn’t have a choice” defense for using her all these years. (Is it just me or is that everyone‘s favorite excuse on this show?)

In fact, Charlotte was so peeved at Emily that she lured her to the Stowaway, knocked her out, then set the place ablaze. (In addition to this being a solid revenge-y move on Charlotte’s part, it was also a clever way of eliminating the bar set. Seriously, who even works there anymore?)

Elsewhere in the Hamptons this week…

revenge-david-clarkePRISONER OF LOVE | That tense Victoria-David scene TVLine showed you earlier this week turned out to be a dream, which David somehow knew, because when he threw Victoria in her cell, he literally told her, “This isn’t a dream.” Victoria fired back with a few predictable lies, like how Conrad forced her to be “the good wife.” (Lie! That job is taken.) She also told David that he was “always” the love of her life. (Another lie! Does the name “Pascal” ring a bell?)

The lovers’ reunion became a little more truthful during a trip to the diner — as if these two super-famous locals would just sit at a damn diner, devil may care — when David admitted to killing Conrad. “I did it for you,” he told Victoria, which is really what every woman would want to hear in that situation. (Am I right, ladies?)

Then came the real twist: Victoria has already managed to turn David against Emily with just 11 little words: “I cannot entertain a future with you until she’s been stopped.” (Oh, Vicky, you clever shrew.)

RISKY BUSINESS | As payback for Gideon’s dead-lady shenanigans, Daniel sabotaged one of his important — I say “important,” even though Gideon didn’t even bother wearing an under-shirt — business meetings, because nothing screams “don’t work with me” like a surprise baggy of coke! And Gideon’s week went from bad to worse when he threatened to kill Margaux and Daniel, then suddenly found himself in prison for having more drugs in his bag at the airport. (Now how did that get in there, Margie?)

OK, let’s talk: Were you surprised that Emily spilled so many beans all at once? Are you dying for the eventual Emily-David reunion? And, seriously, raise your hand if you care — at all — about the Daniel/Margaux/business storyline? Drop a comment with your review of this week’s episode below.