Well, that was anti-climactic.
After a week of waiting for Big Brother‘s highly anticipated Rewind twist to be revealed to the houseguests, Wednesday’s live broadcast featured a whole lot of filler content, yet no real results.
That’s right: No one was evicted, no one was crowned Head of Household (yet) and no one could understand most of what Caleb was saying throughout the hour. But there are still some highlights to discuss, so let’s have at it.
THE WEEK SO FAR | Disclaimer: Since the Rewind button was pushed, it hardly matters what’s happened in the week thus far — which is good, because the week has been tremendously dull. Frankie trounced his fellow houseguests in both the Head of Household and Power of Veto competitions — prompting him to have a little chat with himself in the HOH room about being a “competition master,” how modest! — and Victoria remained the primary target for eviction in a match-up with Cody. Sure, there was a fun Team America challenge that had Derrick and Frankie convincing the HGs of a rat in the kitchen (like, an actual rat, not the metaphorical ones that run rampant in the house every day). And it’d be remiss of me not to mention the adorable Jeff/Jordan proposal, which proved that Big Brother contestants can show real emotion.
But really, we’ve just been biding time until the Rewind twist was unveiled, and Caleb — bless his heart — provided the week’s best entertainment by guessing what the button push could possibly bring to the game. Some of the highlights:
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Caleb: That button could be a million things. You just never know! You might end up with a daggone Hawaii trip. You might end up with a daggone new big ol’ diesel truck. But on the other hand, it could be a million things that ain’t no good.
Caleb: Okay, what if they say, if one of you resets the game, each one of the players wins another $5,000? What if it is, though? That could be Pandora’s Box!
Caleb: I think there’s a reason they’re showing a Phillips-head screwdriver. You know what? In this HOH, it might be if you find the screwdriver, you get to go in the room and un-screwdrive it and hit the button. And you get a luxury.
Caleb: We might just get smoked by freezing cold air.
Caleb: What have we gotten that’s good, though, this season?
Caleb: Exactly! It could be the first time we get something really good.
Frankie: No, Caleb!
Caleb: It could be!
Caleb: You hit it. Next thing you know, a screen shows up and it shows a closet full of all designer clothes and all that stuff.
I know Caleb really wants to be remembered for his Beast Mode tactics and his competitive prowess. But mostly, he’ll be remembered for observations like these (and his super-creepy crush on Amber).
But once the twist was revealed, not even then did the prospect of Wednesday’s eviction episode get exciting. Here are the takeaways:
* Derrick keeps his manipulation train chugging right along, by (1) attempting to convince Frankie that neither Caleb nor Cody should sit next to him in the Final Two and (2) convincing Victoria to shed crocodile tears to Frankie about how much Derrick has “betrayed” her. (Sidebar: I know Victoria has done virtually nothing this summer and doesn’t deserve to be in the Final Five, but isn’t it sad that she’s utterly clueless of her role as marionette to Derrick’s puppet master? Their relationship gives off a Big Brother 14, Dan/Danielle-esque vibe, doesn’t it?) Victoria’s act goes completely according to plan, even making Frankie teary-eyed, and she plays it up in her pre-eviction speech to the houseguests, telling Derrick that he’ll never have her vote. (Wink, wink!)
* We take a brief trip to the jury house, where Christine gets an even colder reception from her fellow jury members than she did from the studio audience last week. And from Donny, of all people, who’s visibly thrilled to hear that Christine was booed upon getting evicted. Looks like Donny’s days of perpetual crying are behind him, huh?
* Season 10 champ Dan Gheesling shows up, thankfully speaking at a normal volume. He talks diplomatically about what the next two weeks will hold for our houseguests, while I daydream of a future All-Stars season that includes Dan, Derrick and Dr. Will. (But no Mike Boogie. Ever. Ever.)
* At long last, the BB Rewind countdown clock shows all goose eggs (just as Derrick is about to enter the Diary Room to cast his vote), and after some over-the-top sirens go off, Julie informs the houseguests that the entire week is getting reset. (The Best Reaction Award goes to Cody, who legitimately looks like he went to the bathroom right there in that armchair.) To that end, the contestants will now participate in the exact same Head of Household competition as last week, for which Derrick is once again ineligible. When we leave the contestants, all of them seem evenly matched for the HOH title — except, maybe, for Victoria. Which, y’know, is par for the course.
All told, nothing really happened on the live broadcast, which seems like a bit of a cheat for us BB fanatics. But then again, we have much to look forward to next week, including two (!) live eviction episodes and the jurors’ return to the house.
What did you think of the non-eviction episode? Can we do a collective shot every time Caleb says “daggone”? Was Julie Chen’s pants-and-blazer combo her best look yet?! Sound off in the comments!