Revenge Recap: Better Off Wed

Revenge Season 3In this week’s Revenge, Pascal proposes to Victoria (and she says oui), Emily puts her binge-watching of Homeland to good use, Nolan gets even with Javier, and Conrad… Lord love a duck, he does something so horrific, I actually LOL’d from shock. So keep reading. We’ll get there…

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TODAY THE ROLE OF CARRIE MATHISON WILL BE PLAYED BY… | Almost as quickly as Pascal slips a ring on Victoria’s finger, he’s abducted at gunpoint by Aiden and taken to Emily, who reintroduces herself as Rebecca Stone, a Homeland Security agent so dedicated to bringing down the Graysons that she doesn’t even seem to notice how badly mussed Frenchy’s hair got when he was grabbed. (Not to worry – he fixes it during a commercial.) Though the detainee won’t cooperate, the exercise isn’t a total waste of time: Nolan’s examination of Pascal’s cell reveals that his evidence against Conrad is a bluff, and by threatening to involve Margaux, Emily is able to coerce him to wear a wire to the MyClone launch and get a confession out of Papa Grayson.

LIMITED ENGAGEMENT | After Victoria finds the phone number that Emily gave Pascal and discovers that it rings the Feds, she confesses to Daniel her fears that her fiancé might turn her in. “I’m sure he’d never betray you,” he replies, trying (and failing) not to sound bored. But it turns out Daniel isn’t bored at all. In fact, he’s so interested that he runs straight to Conrad and, together, they hatch a hare-brained scheme to thwart Pascal. At the party, Victoria, sensing impending disaster, gets all misty-eyed when she kisses Pascal. “Seems like you’re actually getting what you deserve,” Emily manages to say even though her tongue is, as always, lodged in her cheek. As for the launch of Javier’s program, it’s a train wreck. (That’s what happens when you “Macstab” Nolan.) For instance, when he asks his Charlotte clone what she wants to do for her birthday, it responds, “Get high and party!” So, in short, it sucks to be Javier. (Daniel cans him.) And it sucks worse to be Margaux. (This mess all happens seconds after her father has announced that she’ll be his successor.) But the very worst – and best – is yet to come…

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BLADES OF GORY | Per his plot with Daniel, Conrad beats a hasty retreat from the bash, leading Pascal to the rooftop heliport. (Somehow, Emily is only seconds behind them, even though they take the elevator, and she’s on foot.) When Pascal refuses to stop pushing Conrad to incriminate himself, Conrad shoves him into the blades of the chopper. You read that right: straight into the chopper. When Victoria arrives on the scene, she is, as you’d expect, hysterical. She even tries to attack Conrad, like a Real Housewife on one of those reunion specials. But since the pilot corroborates her ex’s story, there’s nothing she can do except wonder whether Daniel tipped his father off and again call the Feds… only now the number “Rebecca” gave Pascal has been disconnected.

CABIN FEVER | In the B (C? D?) plot of “Revolution,” Charlotte receives a letter from David that Victoria writes off as being from a crackpot out to torment their family. Not satisfied with that answer, Charlotte takes the missive to Jack, who takes it to Nolan, who traces it to a cabin in the Berkshires owned by a guy named Kurt Renner. Armed with this intel, rather than attend the blowout at which her brother and boyfriend are guests of honor, Charlotte treks to the cabin with Jack and discovers that it’s full of research on David – which obviously, David being David, David wouldn’t need. So Charlotte decides that Victoria was right and the author is just a nut. (Why Jack thinks it’s okay to steal a ring from this nut’s cabin – even if its initials are D.C. – I’m not sure. Also, why someone – presumably Kurt – was lurking inside the cabin and later outside the Stowaway, I couldn’t say. All the better to kidnap Charlotte at the end of the hour? In any case, she does get kidnapped by a masked man.)

Okay, your turn. What did you think of the episode? Were you surprised to see Conrad kill Pascal in such spectacular fashion? Hit the comments!

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