We’ve reached that glorious time of summer when the networks let loose with screeners of returning shows’ season premieres. The latest to land on our virtual desk: ABC’s Revenge. Though we’re risking serious Red Sharpie action, here are a few things we’ve just gotta share.
First and foremost — as promised — the hour makes clear that certain convoluted plot lines from last season have gone the way of Frank and Lydia. In fact, fans will be happy to note that Emily flat-out declares, “Let’s never say the words ‘Carrion’ or ‘Initiative’ ever again.”
The ABC series’ previously released promo made it clear that a wedding gown-clad Emily takes some hot lead to the gut, then tumbles off a boat. I can tell you that the episode opens with that shocking hook, then rewinds to the previous Memorial Day weekend — which is months after the events of the Season 2 finale. Now, let’s see if we can’t tease things just a little bit more, shall we?
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• Victoria’s relationship with her long-lost son, Patrick (played by Smallville‘s Justin Hartley) is Really. Not. OK.
• However, the fact that Hartley spends an entire scene wearing only a towel? Totally OK in our book.
• Within moments of Daniel running into a French hottie named Margaux (Welcome, Pan Am‘s Karine Vanasse!), the word “virgin” and the phrase “not wearing a bra” are bandied about.
• A major character is diagnosed with a life-threatening illness.
• Charlotte, who several characters note has had a trying year, could give One Life to Live‘s Adriana “Bitchy Bangs” Cramer a run for her nickname.
• Emily makes good on a huge debt to Nolan.
• Jack and Emily’s first scene together contains two giant, intriguing left turns that I did not expect.
• Em enlists [SPOILER]’s help to rid the Hamptons of Ashley Davenport. But will it stick?
• Toward the end of the hour, the “double infinity” sign comes into play in a surprising way.
• A major character seems to have switched allegiances since last we saw him/her.
Revenge returns Sunday, Sept. 29 at 9/8c. Hit the Comments with your theories based on these teases.Follow @kimroots