So you opted not to watch The Bachelor ever/this season/tonight? Good call!
That doesn’t mean you won’t want a little water-cooler ammo come Tuesday morning when the topic turns to who received Juan Pablo’s final rose; why, during a live “After the Final Rose” special, said woman looked about as happy as a bride who spills …READ MORE
The Bachelor is back — and this time (despite having been born in Ithaca, NY) he’s got a hot Venezuelan accent, an adorable pre-K daughter and a gluteus maximus that’ll probably yield more Google image searches in 2014 than Kim Kardashian’s and Pippa Middleton’s combined. READ MORE & GRADE THE PREMIERE
Here’s a dilemma for quality TV lovers with active social schedules: You’d rather brush your teeth with steel wool than spend two hours of your life watching The Bachelorette. Nevertheless, with ABC billing the show’s latest two-part finale (Part 1 aired last Monday; Part 2 airs this Monday, 8/7c) as “the television event of the summer,” chances are you’ll be hearing the names “Desiree” and “Brooks” and possibly even “Drew” at …READ MORE & VIEW PHOTOS
I brought exceedingly low expectations to Day 2 of Kris, the new daytime talker from Kardashian family matriarch Kris Jenner. And yet, to my surprise, I still marveled (and occasionally chuckled) at how the level of discourse plummeted like a stone from a highrise balcony.
Read on for the Top 12 Moments of Total Idiocy from the Talk Show That’s Less Fun Than Getting Pinned Beneath a Falling Flat-Screen (TM Pending). READ MORE IF YOU DARE
Jeah. No, wait, scratch that. JEAH! (That’s more like it, right?)
If the preceding sentence makes no sense to you whatsoever, then you might want to watch the following extended trailer for E!’s upcoming celebreality series What Would Ryan Lochte Do?Actually, you might not want to watch it at all, and that’s okay, too. READ MORE & WATCH TRAILER AT RISK TO YOUR PRECIOUS BRAIN CELLS
Warning: If you haven’t yet watched The Bachelor season finale, stop reading here. The rest of you, carry on!
We have a winner! If, of course, your idea of “winning” involves getting a marriage proposal from a life-sized Ken Doll whose shoulder is still damp from the tears of a second woman he just flung to the curb to clear your path to the altar. READ MORE
In case you were worried that ABC’s Monday-night crapsterpiece Bachelor Pad was going highbrow — all together now: “not me!” — this week’s episode featured a “Hot Sludge Fundae” obstacle course with a sack race/peanut slathering station that allowed host Chris Harrison to instruct the 16 remaining contestants to get in their “nut sacks.” READ MORE & VIEW PHOTOS
If, like me, you’ve been lucky enough to miss the first eight seasons of Oxygen’s Bad Girls Club franchise, you might be blissfully unaware of this bloated, pustule-ridden underbelly of reality television that makes the Kardashian sisters look like Sonia Sotomayor, Elena Kagan, and Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Based on the show’s Season 9 premiere (set in Cabo San Puke-us, Mexico) …READ MORE