Did The Conners‘ Darlene Just Make the Best (or Dumbest) Decision of Her Life?
Warning: The following contains spoilers about Season 5, Episode 20 of ABC’s The Conners.
Darlene Conner has the chance to buck the generational poverty trend — and it’s a chance she’s willing to take, no matter how much she has to sacrifice in order to do it. And so, during Wednesday’s Conners, she gives up her new managerial position at the Chicago Can Company to work as a lunch lady at Stephen A. Douglas University, to help pay Mark’s way through their four-year undergraduate program.
The decision doesn’t come easy. Though it’s an honest living, Dan strongly advises against it. He encourages his daughter to keep her current job and send Mark to community college, which is far more affordable than a private institution. He worries that Darlene is giving up a career she won’t be able to reclaim once she’s in her fifties. What’s more, her current position affords her an opportunity to put some real money away, so that she and Ben won’t have to work until they’re Dan’s age.
It’s a sensible argument, but Darlene has already ruled out community college for son. She wants him to have the college experience he’s dreamed about since he was a little kid. Working as a lunch lady will make that dream a reality.
She does, however, briefly consider Dan’s point of view — not because she’s worried about her own future, but because she’s worried about the strain this decision will put on Ben. To quit her job and work at Mark’s school means that she and her husband will continue to struggle financially for years to come. But Ben, being the saint that he so often is, agrees that this is a sacrifice they both have to make in order to give his stepson a chance at a future.
So, what do you think? Did Darlene make the right decision? Or should she have considered Dan’s argument? State your opinion in Comments.
I think she made the right decision. The managerial job was low level and ultimately the money she saves on tuition will probably exceed the salary difference. It is also unrealistic to think that “managerial job” would offer enough of a cushion to allow her and Ben to retire early. Also, a managerial job may come up at the college and she could have the opportunity to secure it. Additionally, Mark is a smart and motivated kid and may potentially be the answer to their family breaking the puberty cycle.
You’re probably right, especially the part about possibly moving up while she’s there. Darlene transferring around to all these different jobs within the school trying to get on some management track could be an interesting plot point next year.
It’s funny to me that this job seemed better suited for Becky, who has food service experience and also needs to find a way to afford both undergrad and grad school to become a counselor.
‘Mark is a smart and motivated kid and may potentially be the answer to their family breaking the puberty cycle.’
I believe the term you were searching for was
‘menstruation’, not ‘puberty cycle’.
Honestly, your last sentence made NO sense to me.
I think what they actually meant was poverty cycle. Either a typo or auto correct caused the confusion.
I’m sure they meant poverty cycle, not puberty cycle
I assume this comment was sarcasm, but just in case you were generally confused the comment was clearly meant to say “poverty cycle”, but written as it is does not make sense.
I get your your joke!! Hilarious! Thanks 👍
It was a dumb decision. I’m both proud and furious with Darlene. I get why she doesn’t want him to go into debt, but there’s nothing wrong with community college. Mark should be able to compromise and go to community college rather than state or no college. There’s no logical reason why he couldn’t do community college for at least 2 years while Darlene and Ben saved up money and Mark could get a job or maybe work at the college for credit as well. There was a happy medium. It’s ridiculous we spent most of the season watching Darlene struggle to find a job and when she finally found a good one she quit after 1 day. I know this show is meant to be realistic, but community college is a realistic option as well.
Agreed! Thank you! This is show is so far from realistic, it’s a never ending after school special
Watch Mark decide to drop out after a year, or two, making Darlene’s sacrifice meaningless.
I’m honestly dreading that story but also anticipating it at this point. This is a lot of responsibility on Mark’s shoulders, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he cracks and acts out and gets kicked out of school as a result.
Agree – two years at community college and two years at a 4 year state school, and Mark could graduate with low debt, a college education, and a parent with a decent paying job. What isn’t mentioned in this show is that if Darlene and Ben don’t have money saved up, their kids may need to take care of them in their elder years, if they aren’t healthy enough to work. Mark would probably be better off long run if Darlene keeps her job.
Not to mention that if Darlene keeps her higher paying job she could likely pay off all or most of Mark’s school.
I have to presume she’s taking a $20k pay cut. So let’s say she’s netting $15k more after taxes. That should cover about two years of community college. Now she has $15k ready and waiting for the next year.
Even if there is some debt, it could likely be paid off within 2-3 years of him graduating all while Darlene keeps her higher paying job and gaining experience to continue moving up the corporate ladder and make more money.
Don’t forget the likelihood that the management position probably has better fringe benefits like healthcare, matched 401K, life insurance, etc. Ben has to carry that burden now, so heaven forbid his hardware store gets pushed out by a big-box.
It would have made a lot more sense for *Mark* to be the one to pursue a full-time job at a 4-year university. I’ve worked with a few people who took that route with office or library jobs. Then they both would have at least more control over their own destinies.
I worked at 2 colleges and had all those benefits and more..even free classes for me..I got 2 degrees at one college. Loads of vacation too
I think the value.of the free tuition would be more than they would save. It’s only a few years and she can move on. Great benefits like plenty of vacation at colleges too.
Also, student loans should have been a possibility. That is what a younger member of my family of my family did. That’s what a lot of kids thinking of going to college do.
It’s like the people writing this show have know idea how it’s really like for blue collar people.
Colleges have lunch ladies? The university I went to had actual restaurants like a mall food court. And it wasn’t that big or expensive of a school
That’s funny. It’s been awhile since I was in school, but when I worked in food services, almost everyone was a student or a grad student. The manager was a non-student, but even the assistant managers were students
Most colleges have some restaurants on campus, but they also have cafeterias for kids that stay in the dorms and buy the food plan.
No. That is shortsighted. But it keeps the show full of struggling characters.
I hope her son goes through with his dream & values her sacrifice. I came all ny myself to LA with the same dream for my boy. When I was ready & went to get him, he decided he did not want to come anymore. He was 15 & everyone supported his decision because they’ll miss him. No one value of the sacrifice I did for him to have a better education in a better life, not even the adults around him
So, where is David in all of this? Have they decided to make him a deadbeat dad who wants nothing to do with his children?
Basically, but the synopsis for the finale does have Mark thinking about his relationship with his dad as graduation approaches. I don’t know if David will make a cameo or if perhaps Ben might end up adopting Mark but it seems like the dynamics should change with his dad after the finale.
How about Ben work and pay for his own education?
The most unbelievable couple on TV, closely matched by the agent and coroner on NCIS.
Who played Tyler’s mom?
I think that was Mo Gaffney, who played Bob’s girlfriend Joanne on That 70s Show.
Also the therapist on Mad About You.
There is nothing wrong with Community College, so I see a bad decision.
My broadcast added an extra commercial on top of Becky talking to samwise at the bar. Cut right into the middle of the dialogue. Didn’t see where the other girl came from.
She just appeared. She wasn’t in any previous scenes.
We always want the best for our children so if you’re used to struggling taking a pay cut won’t make that much of a difference. You can’t miss what you’ve never had. The childern are out future so giving them the best start you can make a difference.
I seriously doubt that a college would give a newly hired lunch lady’s son almost free tuition in the real world. Totally unrealistic.
That thought crossed my mind, too. I wonder if Darlene asked if a lunch room lady position included tuition assistance for family or how much assistance it was. Mark may end up working while earning an associate degree from community college and then transferring to get a baccalaureate or graduate degree later.
I was brought up during her job interview… The hiring manager was the one who told her that the tuition would nearly be free.
It’s true. University employees get tuition deeply discounted for themselves and their children.
Free tuition at a university? Darlene did the right thing. I’d do the same for my kid. Everyone wants their kid to have a chance at a better life than they had.
I do wonder where David is in all this, though. Why is he not active in Mark’s life, and why is all the responsibility of raising and nurturing Mark strictly on Ben and Darlene?
College won’t help Mark.
Take the money and run Darlene. That’s how you break the poverty cycle.
Why doesn’t the kid pay his own way through college like millions of other kids do in this country each year? No community college? Give me a break! Whoever writes for this show obviously has never been poor. Those who can’t afford college earn the money to go. Crazy concept I know, but that’s how most of us do it. We don’t expect our parents to give up their better paying jobs and to go bankrupt to be a university lunch lady. Smh.
A few things – Where the hell is David? Why isn’t he sacrificing something? Deadbeat. I have always like the character of Ben (Jay is fantastic), what a stand up guy Ben is. Such a huge sacrifice Darlene has made, which we all have done as parents. She has the potential to move up hopefully. One thing I am not really sure of is why couldn’t Mark go to community college? He could go for a year or so, save and apply for more scholarships along the way and transfer.
This was terrible. What the heck is wrong with Community College? And if the position is for a lunch person, is it that outrageous that someone else take that job? Like Becky or Louise? They already work in a restaurant.
I can’t believe this show managed to surpass the stupidity of Mark being obsessive in the “gifted” school because the idiots who write this show think that gifted schools mean you’re splitting atoms in the fifth grade or something.
I know, right! That whole storyline made me lose a lot of sympathy for Mark. It’s like it never occurred to him that if he put all of that mental energy into being #1 in his class at Langford High and getting high test scores, he’d actually have a better chance at scholarships thrown being thrown at him. Being a middling student at a great high school doesn’t exactly turn the heads of scholarship committees. Knowing how to do more with less and taking advantage of of opportunities does.
Darlene saying Mark has always dreamed of the “college experience” just doesn’t make sense to me. The character doesn’t seem to be particularly outgoing to me, one who would join clubs, root for the home team at games and such. Seems he would have been content plowing thru courses at a community college.
Darlene starting as a lunch lady, doesn’t mean she’ll finish as one. There’ll be openings for her.
That’s a tough choice for a parent. And I get it. But this is what Mark had dreamed about since the show’s inception. Of course, any parent who sees that passion in their kids should go all in for them no matter the cost.
Becky and Darlene did not escape generational poverty because they made stupid decisions like their parents before them. Both had the same opportunity Mark has here to go to a good school. They were not forced to go to a community college or State school. They both had scholarships and help from their parents, similar to what Mark has here. They are in the position they are today because of stupid decisions made possible by their enabling parents, and not being taught good decision making, similar to what Darlene is doing here with Mark.
Dan and Roseanne encouraged their daughters to go for their dreams with no basis in reality, Darlene’s useless degree for example. A big part of the reason the Connors family is where they are today is because they make stupid decisions based on emotion not logic( letting the men that help destroy their daughters future move in their home with their teenage daughters for example).
Both Dan and Roseann made career decisions with no thought to risk over and over again. Opening the motorcycle shop and the Café, for example. They practiced no financial responsibility and didn’t teach their kids any. Darlene is teaching Mark the exact same thing with this decision. It is not sacrifice that is going to break generational poverty here, it is good decision-making and financial responsibility.
Yes, opportunity is also needed, but the school Mark wants to go to gives him no advantage over going to a state or two-year college, it not Ivy League or well known. It’s the degree that matters here not the school. If he is a gifted as the show has indicated, and the Connors as poor as indicated, scholarships and aid would cover most of his undergraduate cost, especially if he lived at home, at all most all in state public universities year. Darlene is not giving up a good job to send her kid to college here, that would be more understandable. She is risking financially responsibility to give her kid the college EXPERIENCE he dreams of, Mark could go to college without this sacrifice. Again it’s not the college experience that matters when it comes to success, it’s the degree you walk out with.
The Connors are not poor b/c they had no opportunity, seems like most of the current generation of kids were gifted with intelligence the same way Becky and Darlene were, they have a good support network (Becky and Darlene lived in a two parent household) they have benefits simply due to their looks ( white and decent looking), have no physical or mental disability, and have been given many opportunities to succeed. Yes there have been hardships, but compared to those in true poverty they are blessed.
I agree with this! I do believe, in the real world, generational poverty is a big issue, and there are real road blocks to getting out. But with this show, I’m starting to wonder if the writers are intentionally trying to make the point that people in poverty hurt themselves through poor decisions?
This show is really starting to feel more and more like Shameless. Heaven forbid we have an inspirational show about poor people.
This show really hates the concept of community college, doesn’t it? Sorry but I’m done with this show’s poverty porn.
It was the dumbest decision ever! First of all, do none of the writers know anything about Federal aid and Pell grants? I absolutely do not believe that Darlene makes too much money to be eligible for any level of aid. She’s been out of work for months! Also, Mark definitely needs to give up on his dream to go to a private school. Unless he is going to a really prestigious one, he won’t be any better off than someone going to a state university (or a community college). Everyone on this show makes the worst decisions possible.
Right! Mark would literally be better off going to The University of Illinois, either Urbana-Champain or Chicago, than whatever podunk private school Darlene is sacrificing her career for.
Well I went to U of I. When I started I could work and pay most of my bills. It had tripled by year three. It ain’t no bargain.
I wish there were more real life stories such as this one on TV. Yes we love the jokes, we love the laughs but we also should see some form of ourselves in shows where the writing should reflect life.
Dumb
Everyone who has previously commented,
Please remember to be kind to one another. At the end of the day I know we have grown up with these characters and may have grown very fond of them but it is still a work of fiction. This is a sitcom on TV. We don’t need to get so mad at them or each other!
Hypothetically if this situation really came up? It’s a tough situation. Dan gave her great advice. But Darlene is a mother (still a fictional one but mothers do crazy shit for their kids). My mom signed my car loan because my credit is trashed just a few months ago and I’m already having trouble with my monthly payments. Look, she loves me. Don’t get on me guys…I paid this months two weeks early! Was my insurance a few days late? Sure! The pandemic has been hard! Moms love their kids though and do dumb stuff.