Girls5eva Season 3 Premiere Recap: The Girls Discover Their Fort Worth — But Are They Stuck There?
The good news: The girls of Girls5eva have found a place that loves them. The bad news: That might be the only place that loves them.
Yes, the zippy girl-group comedy is back for Season 3 — thanks, Netflix! — and in the premiere, Dawn and the girls adopt a country twang and perform their new song "Tap Into Your Fort Worth" to an adoring crowd in... Fort Worth, Texas. This is just the first stop on their "Returnity" tour, but it's also the only stop printed on their tour T-shirts. ("We'll be adding more cities as we book them," Wickie insists.) There are signs of trouble, too: Dawn already misses her family, and Summer worries she's going to ruin the tour somehow. Gloria is having a great time being single, though, and celebrates having a one-night stand with a "pre-Friends Courteney Cox type."
Wickie is ready to move from Fort Worth: "We have juiced this pig. New saying." But Dawn hasn't booked any other shows yet; she thinks they should stay a while and enjoy the adulation of the Forth Worth crowd. Wickie points out it's not exactly glamorous: "We're staying in a Marriott Divorced Dad Suitelets... The vending machine is filled with wrapped kids' birthday presents." Dawn convinces her to stay and "incubate" their stage show, though, reminding Wickie what happened when she rushed out her solo album. But Dawn, we learn, is just happy to get some alone time from her husband and kid. She can read a book! And take a bath! Plus, Gloria isn't that great at being single after all: She hounds her one-night stand with texts and voicemails the next day.
Wickie shows up for their next show, and when she finds only Summer there, she marvels: "Is this the first time you and I have ever been alone together?" Turns out there was one other time... but then Dawn rushes in wearing a bathrobe because she glued her hands together with eyelash glue, and Gloria waltzes in all done up for another conquest. They don't have time to workshop any new material, so they just play "Tap Into Your Fort Worth" again — but the crowd loves it anyway. Their headliner Bootsy meets them after the show and encourages them to stay and perfect their act before hitting any other stops. They assure him they'll get their act together... but will they?
Dawn is happy sitting in her hotel room and bingeing the new season of The Crown, while Wickie tries to convince a divorced dad's kid that he's getting his act together, too... but he's been staying there for six years. A panicked Wickie barges in on Dawn: "We're going to die in Fort Worth... I need you to make us leave!" But Dawn doesn't want to be in charge, so Summer volunteers to give it a try. She's paranoid, though, because the last time she was alone with Wickie years ago, she thinks she accidentally convinced Wickie to leave the group and go solo. Now Wickie realizes: "You were right then, and you are right now!"
Gloria realizes she can't do one-night stands: She tries to serenade a hookup with a song she wrote on her acoustic guitar, forcing the girl to flee. But after a chat with Dawn, Gloria realizes she can treat every hookup like a mini relationship, like "the first two minutes of Up." Summer confesses to them that she made Wickie quit the group again. But really, she just convinced Wickie to bet on herself — and all of them. Wickie took the money they've earned and put down a deposit on a show at Radio City Music Hall. (On Thanksgiving night, but still!) They'll just need to sell out the place, or they'll owe half a million dollars. No presh!
Give the Girls5eva premiere a grade in our poll, and then hit the comments to tell us what you think of the new Netflix season.