In addition to claiming our top Performer of the Week prize, Episode 3 of HBO’s The Last of Us also makes an appearance in our latest Quotes of the Week compilation. (Obviously!)
In the list below, we’ve gathered a dozen of television’s most memorable sound bites from the past seven days, including moments both scripted and unscripted from broadcast, cable and streaming series.
This time around, aside from one of Nick Offerman’s most heartbreaking lines in the aforementioned Last of Us episode, we’ve got a backhanded compliment from Kelly Bishop’s Watchful Eye character that we just know Emily Gilmore would appreciate, American Auto‘s commentary on Nick Cannon’s love life, and Johnny Bananas’ reference to his own competitive past on The Challenge.
Also featured in this week’s roundup: double doses of Ghosts and La Brea, plus quotable moments from Criminal Minds: Evolution, The Rookie and Fire Country.
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves!
-
AMERICAN AUTO
Image Credit: NBC screenshot “This isn’t the time to sit around, doing nothing, like a condom in Nick Cannon’s wallet.”
Katherine (Ana Gasteyer) reacts to her crisis manager’s “let’s take a beat” plan
-
GHOSTS
Image Credit: CBS screenshot “You want us to buy a lawn car? To just sit on the lawn? Who are we, Tony Stark?”
Jay (Utkarsh Ambudkar), after Sam suggests they purchase a vehicle and park it on their lawn just so Sas can hang out with his car-bound ghost girlfriend
-
GHOSTS (Bonus Quote!)
Image Credit: CBS screenshot “I know we didn’t finish yet, but Sam, who won Game of Thrones?”
“I don’t remember.”
Before he risks his undead life, Pete (Richie Moriarty) has a very important question for Sam (Rose McIver)
-
THE WATCHFUL EYE
Image Credit: Freeform screenshot “Oh my, look at those beautiful pastries. The perfect gift for a diabetic who lives alone.”
Mrs. Ivey (Kelly Bishop) isn’t impressed with Elena’s “thank you” gift basket
-
CRIMINAL MINDS: EVOLUTION
Image Credit: Paramount+ screenshot “Does urine have DNA…? Oh, wait! I’m so old, I can’t remember!”
Rossi (Joe Mantegna) plays along with Elias’ AARP cracks
-
THE CHALLENGE: RIDE OR DIES
Image Credit: MTV screenshot “One pair is walking away with a million dollars!”
“Unless they let us take from our partner!”
Johnny Bananas jokes about stealing the prize money from his Ride or Die Nany Gonzalez — a savage move he made against Sarah Rice back in Rivals III
-
THE ROOKIE
Image Credit: ABC screenshot “I guess Elijah finally found his perfect lawyer, one with as little morality as him. What I can’t decide is if the woman I fell in love with in law school, who was kind and loving, is gone — or if she never really existed? Were you always just a sociopath putting on an act?”
Wesley (Shawn Ashmore) gives ruthless Monica something to think about
-
POKER FACE
Image Credit: Peacock screenshot “So what are we gonna watch tonight? You wanna keep going with Euphorica?”
“Kids who think they invented f—king? No thanks.”
Seniors Joyce (S. Epatha Merkerson) and Irene (Judith Light) are not impressed by Zendaya’s edgy high school drama — and can’t even pronounce it
-
LA BREA
Image Credit: NBC screenshot “I sorta told them what you were up to.”
“Josh, why would you do that?”
“It was raining fish, Izzy. People were kinda curious what was going on.”
Josh (Jack Martin) shares with his sis the recent, crazy weather report
-
LA BREA (Bonus Quote!)
Image Credit: NBC screenshot “… but while you’re off playing Ms. Pac-Man in ’88, some of us are trying to make this place livable.”
Lucas (Joshua McKenzie) zings Sam so good, we’ll overlook the fact that Ms. Pac-Man‘s heyday was in fact the early 1980s
-
FIRE COUNTRY
Image Credit: CBS screenshot (2) “Congratulations, from everyone at Cal Fire. This is one hell of a gender reveal party!”
Sharon (Diane Farr) cheers new dad Freddy, with everyone still drenched in pink fire retardant
-
THE LAST OF US
Image Credit: Courtesy of HBO “This isn’t the tragic suicide at the end of the play. I’m old. I’m satisfied. And you were my purpose.”
Bill (Nick Offerman) reveals to longtime love Frank that he, too, dosed his wine with a lethal amount of pills — and he and his husband will now (sob!) pass away together
