Warning for both of you that are still bingeing: The following contains spoilers for Stranger Things’ Season 4 finale (and more).
Over the course of its four action-packed seasons, Netflix’s Stranger Things has made us gasp. It’s made us jump. It’s made us laugh. And owing to death after death after death, boy, has it ever made us sob.
However, not every loss has resulted in us ugly-crying the dearly departed a river. Sometimes, it was just a puddle. Other times, we merely welled up and sniffled. Still other times, we were so taken aback and shocked that we didn’t even have time to form a tear, much less shed it. So TVLine decided to get analytical about the grave matter and rank the series’ saddest deaths of all time.
Before you scroll down to see which one most killed us, though, you should know that this list only includes demises that aren’t framed by air quotes. In other words, since Hopper and Max are still among us — thank goodness! — their harrowing “sendoffs” have been eliminated from consideration.
Now you can go ahead and get scrolling on your way to the comments to weigh in with your pick for the ending that began your fiercest wailing.
A trauma in the cub reporter’s past cut short his future when Vecna invaded his mind and turned him into the most disturbing origami ever. (Season 4, Episode 2)
Did he really do it all for Eleven? We’re not sure we buy that. But we could tell that at least Papa believed every word that he said to his “daughter” with his dying breath. (Season 4, Episode 8)
Do all Demodogs go to heaven? We can only hope that that’s what happened to Dustin’s fast-growing “pet” since he and his pack died when El shut the gate. (Season 2, Episode 9)
Proof positive that no good deed goes unpunished: The kindly burger flipper was only trying to help Eleven when he was gunned down by Brenner’s henchwoman, Agent Connie Frazier. (Season 1, Episode 1)
We along with Eddie had just started falling for “the queen of Hawkins High” when — ew! — Vecna pretzeled the cheerleader’s body and gouged out her eyes. (Season 4, Episode 1)
Aside from the abs, we didn’t think that Max’s bullying stepbrother had any redeeming qualities — until he sacrificed himself to the Spider Monster to save her and Eleven. (Season 3, Episode 8)
Raise a Slurpee — cherry-flavored, not strawberry — to the sweet Russian scientist whose plans to defect to America were shot down by relentless Grigori. (Season 3, Episode 7)
Worst. Pool party. Ever. While Nancy was hooking up with Steve, her BFF was being dragged into the Upside Down and killed by the Demogorgon. (Season 1, Episode 3)
We were as horrified as his girlfriend Joyce — maybe even more horrified — when the adorkable “superhero” was turned into Demodog Chow. (Season 2, Episode 8)
We loved you, man. Done in by Demobats in the Upside Down, the leader of Hawkins High’s Hellfire Club shook off his cowardly past and died a hero in Dustin’s eyes — and arms. (Season 4, Episode 9)