Stranger Things Season 4, Part 1 Recap: Biggest Moments From Episodes 1-7

Warning: Friends don't lie, so we'll give it to you straight. If you've yet to binge Stranger Things Season 4, Part 1, the following will spoil more or less all of it. Proceed at your own peril.

"Buckle up, brochachos!" Early on in the Season 4 premiere of Netflix's Stranger Things, that's the warning that Jonathan's pothead pal Argyle gives him, Eleven and Mike, and he does so, because he's kinda what you'd call a wild driver. But the advice would be just as well-taken by you or anyone diving in to the first part of the series' penultimate season. In short, they. Are. A. Ride. (Read TVLine's review here.)

Not only do the seven plus-sized episodes detonate action sequences so pulse-pounding that they might count as stress tests, they introduce nightmare-inducing new villains of both the human and supernatural sort, they throw together an unexpected tag team for the ages, and they serve up more laughs than you'd imagine were possible with dark forces conspiring to turn the world Upside Down. (Much like "America," you can't spell "hysterical" without Erica.)

Keep scrolling, and before Part 2 drops on Friday, July 1, we'll discuss all the major twists of plot, pausing to shine a spotlight on each episode's biggest moments. Then you can weigh in with your reviews in the comments.

WHAT HAPPENED: A 1979 flashback revealed that Eleven had massacred everyone at Hawkins Lab — including her fellow children but excluding Dr. Brenner. In the present — well, 1986 — "Jane" was mercilessly bullied at Lenora Hills High by mean girl Angela, while Will dodged a female classmate's advances, Jonathan dealt with his distance from Nancy by getting lit with pal Argyle, and Joyce received a package from "Enzo" in Russia that revealed that Hopper's alive. In Hawkins, as upperclassmen Steve and Robin faced romantic conundrums (she had a crush on a fellow band member named Vickie, he didn't know who he liked), a chasm opened between our freshmen when Lucas' basketball championship game conflicted with the climax of Hellfire Club Dungeon Master Eddie's Vecna campaign. Oh, and something extremely wicked their way came: Visiting Eddie's trailer to score drugs, troubled cheerleader Chrissy was fatally pretzeled by the supernatural force that had been stalking her.

BIGGEST SHOCK: Mrs. Wheeler's hair. See above. Enough said.

BIGGEST TREAT: Early on, Suzie made a cameo, hacking into Hawkins High's student records to improve Dusty Bun's Latin grade.

BIGGEST REVELATION: At the pre-championship game pep rally, we learned that Robin's old crush Tammy Thompson really does sing like a Muppet.

BIGGEST LAUGH: Steve deduced that Robin's crush on Vickie wasn't in vain because she'd returned Fast Times at Ridgemont High to Family Video during a key Phoebe Cates moment. "Do you know who pauses Fast Times at 53 minutes, five seconds? People who like boobies!"

SECOND-BIGGEST LAUGH: When Eddie questioned whether Erica was qualified to fill in for her brother at Hellfire Club, the inimitable "Lady Applejack" assured him that she'd stab any monster in her path with her "poison-soaked kukri, and I'll smile as I watch them die a slow, agonizing death."

WHAT HAPPENED: Having glimpsed Chrissy's contorted body at the trailer park, Max recruited Dustin, Steve and Robin, and they tracked Eddie to his hiding place. There, they deduced that whatever had killed Chrissy was a creature as powerful as Vecna. At the same time, Nancy and Hawkins Tiger colleague Fred investigated at the trailer park, where she learned that Eddie's uncle suspected the murderous Victor Creel had broken out of Pennhurst Mental Hospital, and Fred... Aw. Poor Fred met the same fate as Chrissy. In California, Joyce and Murray's call to "Enzo" — in reality, Russian prison guard Dmitri — sent them scrambling for the ransom they were to deliver to Alaska to get Hopper "unstuck." Jonathan revealed to Argyle that, unbeknownst to Nancy, he wasn't going to college with her. And at Rink-O-Mania, Angela so brutally humiliated El in front of a visiting Mike that she bashed her smug face with a roller skate.

BIGGEST MONSTER: Vecna was terrifying, but it was El's tormentor Angela who really gave us nightmares. If ever we'd wanted El to go all Carrie on someone, it was her!

SECOND-BIGGEST MONSTER: Chrissy's boyfriend, Jason. The quintessential jock jerk was more interested in going on a freak hunt for Eddie than in mourning his sweetheart or listening to reason — good effort, though, Lucas.

BIGGEST DISPLAY OF DETECTIVE SKILLS: Dustin, Max, Steve and Robin figured out which Rick in Family Video's database was Eddie's supplier Reefer Rick by looking up the individual who most frequently checked out Cheech and Chong movies.

BIGGEST DISPLAY OF TEEN ANGST: Sick of feeling like a third wheel at Rink-O-Mania, Will lashed out at BFF Mike, hurling accusations that since moving to California, he'd basically been abandoned.

WHAT HAPPENED: After Fred's body was discovered, Steve, Dustin and Max broke into the office of Hawkins High's guidance counselor and learned that, prior to their deaths, both Chrissy and Vecna's subsequent victim had experienced similar "symptoms" of his curse — the same ones Max was having! Meanwhile, Nancy and Robin discovered that, way back when, Victor Creel had claimed that an evil spirit killed his family. All the while, Lucas led the bloodthirsty basketball players on a wild-goose chase. As Joyce and Murray flew to Alaska, "Enzo" Dmitri informed Hopper that as soon as pilot Yuri received the ransom money, the prisoner could make his escape. And in California, El was having the worst day — first a fight with Mike over letters signed "from" instead of "love," then an arrest for assault — before Dr. Owens showed up with a chance for her to regain her powers and save the world.

BIGGEST GROSS-OUT: Would that we could unsee poor Hop painfully removing his nearly broken foot from the chain that bound his ankles to one another.

BIGGEST RUNNING JOKE: Yes, Steve, you are and hopefully will be "always the goddamn babysitter."

BIGGEST NO-NO: After Dustin accused Steve of throwing himself at Nancy, the older teen threatened to hit him so hard that his teeth fell back out. "Whoa," said Dustin. "Too far." Agreed.

BIGGEST LAUGH: Wondering how an old man like Victor Creel could be running around killing kids, Robin asked what he was, "a grandpa murderer who can turn invisible and lift people into the air?"

BIGGEST VOTE OF CONFIDENCE: Fearing she was more villain than hero, Eleven needed to hear Dr. Owens say that "I'm betting the fate of the planet that you're one of the good ones."

WHAT HAPPENED: Desperate to warn their friends in Hawkins about the coming storm, Jonathan, Will and Mike set in motion a plan to escape the feds protecting them just as agents opposed to Owens opened fire. Nancy and Robin learned from mental patient Victor that "the voice of an angel" — Ella Fitzgerald on the radio — had snapped him out of Vecna's trance before he could be killed. Elsewhere, Max, her days down to hours, wrote goodbye notes to her loved ones and visited Billy's grave, where Vecna took hold of her mind and tormented her as her stepbrother. Before Vecna could kill her, however, Nancy and Robin walkie-talkie'd Dustin that music might break the spell, as it had for Victor, and thankfully, Kate Bush's "Running Up That Hill" brought Max back to reality. Finally, Hopper made his escape, only for Yuri to sell out him, Dmitri, Joyce and Murray to the KGB!

BIGGEST 'AWW': At last, Mike and Will addressed their frayed relationship and decided to tackle whatever came next as friends... best friends, even.

BIGGEST DELIGHT: "Easter-brunch" attire notwithstanding, the yin/yang pairing of Nancy and Robin resulted in arguably the best team-up since Steve and Dustin.

BIGGEST EYE-OPENER: The sight of Robert Englund's Victor with his peepers gouged out and scabbed over made us wanna pluck out our own eyes.

BIGGEST FIGHT: Hopper's battle to escape from the Russians was so brutal, we're pretty sure it left our retinas black and blue.

BIGGEST SCARE: We kept telling ourselves that Max would be OK, but until she'd actually made it out of the netherworld, we didn't actually believe it.

WHAT HAPPENED: After Mike, Will, Jonathan and Argyle escaped from the feds, they figured out that the "Nina" the doomed agent protecting them had wanted them to contact was a computer. So off to Utah they went to consult hacker Suzie. In Owens' desert HQ, Eleven was horrified to learn that Brenner was alive and creepily eager for "papa and daughter" to restore her powers by making her relive her memories. At least the process showed promise: Her powers momentarily returned. In — over? — Russia, Murray's karate skills helped him knock out Yuri, after which he and Joyce crash-landed the pilot's plane. Back in Hawkins, Nancy pieced together Max's drawings of Vecna's lair to reveal that she'd actually sketched the Creel House. Once they, Steve, Dustin, Lucas, Max and Robin had broken in, lights began flickering... just as Vecna interrupted Jason's pursuit of Eddie to kill teammate Patrick before his eyes.

BIGGEST SHOCK: Apparently, the grave on which we danced was empty, because it turned out that Brenner hadn't met his maker at the hands (claws?) of the Demogorgon in Season 1.

BIGGEST MELTDOWN: Argyle's high-pitched freak-out after the passing of "unknown hero agent man" was so deliriously intense, Jonathan had to prescribe him some Purple Palm Tree Delight.

BIGGEST HEARTSTOPPER HOMAGE: If we didn't all suspect before that Will is gay, we had to after he kept gazing at Mike like Charlie does Nick in Netflix's teen romance.

BIGGEST OLD MARRIED COUPLE: "Was that a sigh?" As Steve was reluctantly paired with Dustin to search the Creel House, his lack of of enthusiasm did not go unnoticed. The dream team lives on, hilariously.

BIGGEST LAUGH: Murray slayed us with the kung-fury that he was loath to reveal that he'd only ever unleashed on tweens in his martial-arts class.

WHAT HAPPENED: After rendezvousing with Eddie, Steve, Nancy, Robin, Dustin, Lucas and Max deduced that Lovers' Lake hid beneath it a gate — a Watergate, per Dustin. Once Steve had found the portal, he was dragged through it by tentacles and attacked in the Upside Down by Demobats (?!?). In Utah, Suzie fell for the tall tale that Mike, Will, Jonathan and Argyle spun and obtained for them Nina's coordinates. (Oh, and Argyle got real high on Suzie's sister.) In Nevada, Eleven remembered creepy Hawkins Lab orderly Peter telling her that she reminded him of One and that Papa sometimes lied (for which he was severely punished). And in Russia, as Joyce and Murray hatched a plan to sneak into the prison by passing off Murray as Yuri and vice versa, Hopper took pains to obtain vodka and a lighter so as to start a fire with which he could fight the Demogorgon.

BIGGEST STEP: As Max comforted Lucas over Patrick's death, the former sweethearts started looking so tentatively couple-y that Robin remarked, "They're so adorable, I just wanna squeeze 'em."

BIGGEST REVELATION: When Steve stripped down to take the episode's titular dive, Lucas marveled that he'd become a hirsute hunk. "He claims the ladies dig it," noted Dustin.

BIGGEST LAUGH: Suzie's bat-s—t-crazy household, full to brimming with absurdly creative siblings, was a sitcom unto itself.

BIGGEST MEANIES: Two and his crew at Hawkins Lab were just as awful to Eleven as Angela — and way more violent.

WHAT HAPPENED: After Nancy, Robin and Eddie helped save Steve, they deduced that a gate was located at each of Vecna's murder sites and hurried to the Munsons' trailer. Before Dustin, Lucas and Erica could help them all through the portal there, Nancy was snatched by Vecna. In Russia, Joyce and Murray managed to keep Hopper from becoming Demogorgon Chow and put him back in "his woman's" arms. Finally, Eleven remembered Peter warning her that Brenner was going to have her killed because he couldn't control her. As they sought to escape, El removed from Peter's neck the chip that weakened him — inadvertently allowing him to go on a telekinetic murder spree. Turned out, she hadn't done it! And he was Victor Creel's son! And he'd killed his family rather than be put in Brenner's care! And El was forced to blast him through a gate to the Upside Down, where he became... Vecna!

BIGGEST 'TELL': It's a tossup between the loaded moment when Nancy bandaged Steve's wound and the one in which Eddie came out and told Harrington that the way his ex had dived in after him was "as unambiguous a sign of true love as these cynical eyes have ever seen." Sorry, Jonathan.

BIGGEST CONFESSION: Props to Eddie for admitting to Steve that the way Dustin worshipped him had made him kinda jealous. Even worse, Eddie couldn't deny that Steve wasn't a d-bag.

BIGGEST REVELATION: How did we not guess earlier that Peter was One, and One was Vecna? The clues were all there! A "genius child," we ain't.

BIGGEST FIGHT: As epic as Eleven and Peter's showdown was, it doesn't get any wilder than the Demogorgon laying waste to Russian prisoners until finally Hopper threw a spear into its... Well, the place where its face would be.