Friends: 20 Memorable Exes, Ranked

Phoebe once said that her Friends' collective dating history read like a "who's who of human crap" — but was she being overly dramatic?

We here at TVLine decided to examine the Central Perk songstress' audacious claim and revisit Ross, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, Joey and Phoebe's romantic histories, singling out 20 significant exes who came and went before all of the gang — well, almost all of the gang (sorry, Joey!) — found their lobsters.

Our definitive ranking includes the worst of the worst (including a certain Italian playboy and a two-timing orthodontist) and the best of the best (including, well... you'll have to keep reading to know who came out on top). There's also everyone in between, including a pair of ex-wives who continue to get a bad rap, and an NYPD officer done in by fowl play.

We also considered those who we felt deserved better, even if they weren't the most interesting characters — including not one, but two paleontologists, a Ralph Lauren assistant and a salmon shirt-hoarding beauty who Ross could barely remember.

Rounding out the list are a perky college student and her emotionally unstable dad, a billionaire who just wanted to be the Ultimate Fighting Champion, and a woman whose irksome cackle delighted just about everyone (except for Chandler).

Scroll down to review 20 of the most memorable Friends exes, then hit the comments and let us know if you agree (or disagree) with our ranking — and who you'd rank higher or lower. (And for even more Friends content, click here.)

C'mon! Were you expecting anyone other than this crap weasel to come in dead last? He made a pass at Phoebe while he was dating Rachel! 'Nuff said.

After he cheated on Rachel during their engagement, with Rachel after their engagement, then again on her during the show's "what if" episode, we're at a loss for what any woman would see in this creep. In fact, the thought of spending a lifetime with Barry is so grim, Rachel's mom used it to explain her own unhappiness. ("You didn't marry your Barry, honey, but I married mine.")

The model had the gall to insult Joey's closest friends as soon as they started dating, calling Monica too loud and Chandler too "blah." Good on Monica for chasing her out of the building.

The bird's the word... and the reason we can't vouch for Phoebe's ex-police officer boyfriend.

The heart wants what the heart wants... but Kathy's heart was never quite sure what it wanted. First it was Joey, then it was Chandler, then it was (ugh) Nick. Worst of all, she nearly derailed one of TV's most iconic bromances.

A true pioneer of the dating world, Phoebe's twin sister ghosted Joey before there was even a word for it. It was thoughtless and selfish, like most things Ursula did during her sporadic appearances, but the experience was totally worth it for the Phoebe-Joey kiss (pictured above) that we got at the end. Don't lie, you loved it.

If anyone tells you that they were invested in Ross' romance with his much-younger student, they're lying. That said, Elizabeth wasn't the problem in their relationship, and we're glad she didn't succumb to pressure when he tried to change her. (For the record, would also choose a water balloon fight over going to see a play with Ross. No contest.)

Compared to a lot of the duds that Rachel dated, Paul really wasn't so bad. First of all, he was Bruce Willis. Second of all, he had a sweet lake house. And what's so bad about a guy being in touch with his emotions?

One of many women who dated Ross despite being way too good for him, Bonnie was the total package — kind, beautiful and bold enough to rock a bald head with pride. We have to imagine that she now remembers him fondly as "that a-hole who took me all the way to his friend's beach house just to dump me for the girl who convinced me to shave my head."

Rachel's Season 4 beau was nice enough, but completely oblivious to her advances early on. And remember when he put her on that VIP list, but thought her name was Rachel Greep? With all that being said, he was right to jump ship when he did. She proposed marriage after four dates, which certainly breaks Three Divorces Guy's record.

Rachel has a dicey history of mixing business with pleasure, but of all her interoffice conquests, we enjoyed Tag the most. Why did she even break up with him, because she was 30 and he was 24? Honestly, sometimes we wish that red sweater had turned out to be his.

Sure, it could be argued that the billionaire software mogul used his endless funds to buy Monica's affections, but his head was always in the right place. Speaking of his head, we wonder how his Ultimate Fighting career turned out. (Not well, we'd imagine.)

As far as Friends love triangles are concerned, the Joey-Charlie-Ross conundrum resolved itself with relatively little drama; Charlie was respectful of Joey's feelings and officially ended things with him before bedding Ross in Barbados. Charlie also got along nicely with the rest of the group — save for Rachel, who was needlessly rude to her — and we hope she and Greg Kinnear are very happy together, wherever they may be.

Mona was a tad naive, but she certainly deserved better than Ross, who was never as invested in their relationship as she was. His many erratic answers to the question "Where do you see this relationship going?" should have been all she needed to determine that there was no future there. Instead, she waited around long enough for Ross to forget about her repeatedly, then neglect to tell her that his pregnant ex-girlfriend had moved in with him.

Warm, intelligent and a solid addition to the group, Julie learned the hard way that no one emerges from a relationship with Ross unscathed. At least the show gave her a (somewhat) happy ending by pairing her off with Russ.

She was willing to uproot her life and move to America to be with Ross after all of six weeks, then he goes and says the wrong name at the altar and she's the bad guy? We can't exactly fault her for asking her husband to cut off contact with his ex-girlfriend after that fiasco. We were conditioned not to like Emily because she wasn't Ross' lobster.

Friends wanted viewers to be #TeamRoss in his divorce from Carol, but no amount of uninspired lesbian jokes could obscure the simple truth: Carol was a devoted mother, a loving wife and a far more complex character than any of Central Perk's regular customers. Honestly, we're a little jealous of Susan.

Bing-a-ling and Just Janice were comedy gold. And, for a short window of time in Season 3, one of Friends' most stable couples. Sure, she was obnoxious — so much so that Chandler made up a lie about having to move to Yemen (or, more precisely, 15 Yemen Road, Yemen) just to get away with her — but there was never any doubt how much she loved him, and how much he... tolerated her.

They might have been intellectual opposites, but Phoebe and David balanced each other out perfectly. If it weren't for his decision to move to Minsk (or for Mike's sick air-piano skills), we have no doubt that the brainy-but-romantic physicist would've gotten the girl.

Despite their age difference, Richard was perfect for Monica in almost every way... except for one: Monica wanted kids, while Richard, who already had grown kids of his own, did not want any more. It broke our hearts to see Monica break things off, but the demise of her relationship with Richard paved the way for an even better romance — and the show's best couple: Monica and Chandler.

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