Drag Race Recap: A Brutal Lip Sync Smackdown Costs [Spoiler] The Crown

"Whoever leaves us tonight, it's going to hurt," RuPaul told the final two queens left standing at the end of Friday's Drag Race, which punished the group for their lackluster Snatch Game performances by forcing all but DeJa Skye to lip sync for their lives.

And Ru wasn't wrong. Sure, this is beginning to feel like the most drawn-out season in Drag Race herstory, but that only means we've had even more time to spend with the eight remaining queens — and we didn't realize how attached we were to some of them until they were almost taken from us.

Speaking of the season being drawn out, Daya Betty held nothing back in the wake of last week's non-elimination, essentially telling Jasmine and Jorgeous that they should both be out of the running by now. (You know, for a girl who was given a second chance after being eliminated earlier this season, you'd think she'd be more sympathetic.)

With the judges assembled, and new Pit Crew member Calix (more on him later) with his hand on the hopper, the stage was set for an seven-way clash of queens.

Read on for a breakdown of all six lip sync battles, then drop a comment with your thoughts on the results of Drag Race's latest LaLaPaRUza smackdown.

Here. We. Go.

Jasmine having her name drawn first (by my boyfriend Calix) set the perfect tone for what would soon become the wildest episode of the season. Revenge is a dish best served on the runway, so it was no surprise that Jasmine chose to go up against Daya — but it was a surprise when Ru revealed that whomsoever is chosen as the queen's competitor gets to pick the song. Gagged!

Suddenly things were looking up for Daya, who picked Aretha Franklin's "Respect," a song that favors attitude over choreography. Jasmine somehow spent most of the lip sync literally in Daya's shadow, following behind her like a lost (but extremely flexible) puppy, while Ms. Betty commanded the judges' attention throughout.

WINNER: Daya Betty

Willow was up next (as selected by my fiancé Calix), and she came. To. Play. ... Mind games.

Noting that pride went-eth before Jasmine's fall, Willow selected Bosco as her competitor, believing that Bosco was the queen mostly likely to pick the same song that she would. And even though Bosco chose Luther Vandross' "Never Too Much," which is allegedly one of her go-to karaoke songs, Willow reminded everyone that she's not to be underestimated.

Willow fully embodied the R&B jam, sprinkling her subtle performance with a few stand-out moments that the judges seemed to appreciate. Meanwhile, Bosco brought the sex, which was lovely... but not entirely necessary.

WINNER: Willow Pill

(In other news, am I the only person incapable of thinking about Luther Vandross without recalling Tiffany "New York" Pollard's iconic "Beyonce?! You look like Luther Vandross!" moment from Flavor of Love?)

Proving that her lust for chaos knows no bounds, Ru decided that the next lip sync would be a three-way melee between Angeria, Camden and Jorgeous — the latter of whom had her name plucked from the hopper (by my husband Calix) and got to choose the song.

With a JLo bop on the table, everyone assumed that Jorgeous' decision was clear, but she shocked the world by selecting Beyoncé's "Radio." (Remember that song, by the way? I feel like this episode unlocked a memory for me.)

Anyway, I have no idea how Ru was able to choose between these three queens. They all gave 100 percent, employing every trick in their individual arsenals. Sure, Camden wasn't able to help Angeria and Jorgeous complete the equivalent of a death drop kickline, but she still brought it.

WINNER: Jorgeous

It was honestly gracious of Camden to even let RuPaul finish talking before immediately claiming Bosco as her next opponent, but if she thought that Bosco would be a pushover, she had another thing coming.

The queens were fairly even matched in their performances of En Vogue's "Don't Let Go," with both ladies getting fully in touch with their dramatic sides to bring the sexy '90s track to life.

Still, a decision had to be made.

WINNER: Lady Camden

The would-be Jorgeous track finally spun when Angeria and Jasmine faced off to JLo's "My Love Don't Cost a Thing." And while I can only imagine how exhausted the queens were at this point, they both turned it out.

Even Daya couldn't resist complimenting Jasmine's technique, so we can all just assume that hell has completely frozen over. Unfortunately for Jasmine, Ru wasn't so easily swayed.

WINNER: Angeria Paris VanMichaels

(P.S. You may have noticed that I haven't mentioned Calix in a bit. We're actually no longer together, but we've agreed to remain friendly. For the kids.)

Fire up the Donna Summer, because we've finally arrived at the last dance of the night.

Actually, fire up the Diana Ross, because the two remaining queens — Jasmine and Bosco — faced off to the tune of "Swept Away," a song I wasn't previously familiar with but now claim as my entire identity.

Jasmine decided to throw the judges a curveball, opting for a campier performance with funny choreography, while Bosco served absolute sex on a stick. "I am breaking out all my stripper moves," she acknowledged in a confessional.

DeJa really summed up the battle perfectly: "I could watch this for hours, bitch!"

WINNER: Bosco

ELIMINATED: Jasmine Kennedie (...and without a gold bar to her name.)