Like Kenneth Parcell, we just love television so much… even shows that never actually existed.
The 30 Rock gang is returning to NBC this week for a scripted reunion special — it doubles as an upfront presentation for NBCUniversal’s family of networks, which sounds like a Jack Donaghy fever dream — and the reunion news got us thinking about all the great fake TV shows and movies that Liz, Jack, Tracy and Jenna treated us to over the years. In fact, some of them are sounding pretty appealing these days, to be honest. (We’re four months into a quarantine lockdown here, so yeah, we’d totally binge some MILF Island right about now.)
In honor of 30 Rock‘s return to the airwaves, we here at TVLine are rounding up the most memorable fake TV shows and movies from all seven seasons and ranking them in terms of watchability, from “nope, no thanks” to “yes, we’d literally pay money to see that.” (Note: 30 Rock served up a seemingly bottomless buffet of fake titles, so we had to narrow it down to the 24 most notable. Apologies to fans of Tracy’s remake, A Blaffair to Rememblack.)
Read on to see where we ranked would-be classics like The Rural Juror and Honky Grandma Be Trippin’, and then hit the comments below to remind us of any goodies we didn’t mention.
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Hard to Watch: Based on the Novel Stone Cold Bummer by Manipulate
Image Credit: Courtesy of NBCUniversal
C’mon, it’s right there in the title, right? We’re happy that Tracy’s punishingly downbeat drama won him an Oscar… but that doesn’t mean we have any desire to sit through it. -
Hunchbacks
Image Credit: Courtesy of NBCUniversal
Jack was openly trying to get fired at this point, so that explains why he gave the green light to this dreadful-sounding drama that tried to bring the “sexy vampire” trend to… um, hunchbacks. (Starring The Single Guy himself, Jonathan Silverman!) -
Gold Case
Image Credit: Courtesy of NBCUniversal
We were kinda onboard for Kenneth’s spin on Deal or No Deal, but the disastrous first taping — which saw the contestants easily guess which suitcase held a million dollars’ worth of gold, since the poor spokesmodel had to struggle to hold it up — proved it didn’t really have legs. As host John McEnroe screamed: “Whose idea was this?!” -
The Hot Box With Avery Jessup
Image Credit: Courtesy of NBCUniversal On her CNBC show, Avery shouts a tongue-twisting whirlwind of financial news topics at her guests (“Prime Minister Wen wants a weak yuan. Do we?”), so we’ll pass. Catchy name, though.
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The Rural Juror
Image Credit: Courtesy of NBCUniversal
As fun as it is to try to say the name of Jenna’s legal thriller (based on a Kevin Grisham novel!), the actual movie sounds like a snooze. But we promise to check out the sequel: Urban Fervor. -
Kidnapped by Danger: The Avery Jessup Story
Image Credit: Courtesy of NBCUniversal
Yeah, the TV movie based on Avery’s North Korean misadventure looked like a big ol’ ball of cheese (complete with a theme song sung by Jenna)… but it might be worth it just to see Alec’s brother William Baldwin play Jack. -
God Cop
Image Credit: Courtesy of NBCUniversal
Another of Jack’s trying-to-get-fired pitches, he cast himself as an omnipotent God who solves crimes on the side. (“Crime just got a new worst friend.”) Even the actors didn’t quite understand how the premise would work… and frankly, neither do we. -
Honky Grandma Be Trippin'
Image Credit: Courtesy of NBCUniversal
Yeah, in this climate, we’re pretty sure Tracy’s comedy where he plays an overweight white woman wouldn’t really fly. Speaking of which… -
Los Amantes Clandestinos
Image Credit: Courtesy of NBCUniversal
Remember when Jack was dating Salma Hayek’s Elisa, but her grandma didn’t trust him due to his resemblance to a telenovela villain also played by Alec Baldwin? Yeah, we’re kinda surprised they didn’t pull this episode too, to be honest. -
America's Kidz Got Singing
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Jenna got to tap into her inner Simon Cowell as a mean judge on this NBC talent competition — her catchphrase: “Go jump back up your mother!” — but that’s not enough to make us want to watch endless hours of kids (sorry, “kidz”) singing. -
Bitch Hunter
Image Credit: Courtesy of NBCUniversal
This horribly offensive action drama — starring Will Ferrell’s Shane Hunter as a gun-toting man who hunts bitches, apparently — got NBC into all kinds of hot water, and rightfully so. But we are curious to find out why he’s hunting all these bitches, at least. -
Sports Shouting
Image Credit: Courtesy of NBCUniversal
Really, this ear-splitting parody of amped-up crosstalk isn’t that far removed from half the shows on ESPN right now, so we’d give it a try. -
Gals on the Town
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We only got to see the opening credits to this carbon copy of all the failed Sex and the City rip-offs that popped up a few years back… but hey, Aisha Tyler, Teri Polo and Lindsay Price? Sign us up! -
The Chunks 2: A Very Chunky Christmas
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Another Tracy Jordan joint, this one is a clear riff on Eddie Murphy’s The Nutty Professor, with Tracy playing multiple members of a pleasantly plump family — and if you like holiday-themed fart jokes, boy, you are in for a treat! -
Homonym!
Image Credit: Courtesy of NBCUniversal
On this incredibly frustrating game show, contestants were read a word that sounds like two different words and had to guess which one it is. (“Meat” or “meet”?) It’s as dumb as it sounds… but it does have an intriguing level of quick-hit suspense to it, we must admit. Perfect for Quibi, actually! -
A Dog Took My Face and Gave Me a Better Face to Change the World: The Celeste Cunningham Story
Image Credit: Courtesy of NBCUniversal
That mouthful of a title aside, would we watch Kristen Wiig in a faux Lifetime movie about a future politician who triumphs over adversity after getting shot in the face by her neighbor’s dog? Why, yes. Yes, we would. -
Sing Them Blues, White Girl: The Jackie Jormp-Jomp Story
Image Credit: Courtesy of NBCUniversal
Jenna’s big 1960s rock biopic is not about Janis Joplin, OK? They couldn’t get the rights, so they fudged the details ever so slightly, and we can’t wait to hear her sing those unforgettable lyrics: “Take another little chunk of my lung now, mister!” -
Sherlock Homie
Image Credit: Courtesy of NBCUniversal
We don’t know much about this Tracy Jordan opus beyond the poster… but man, what a poster! Since PBS’ Sherlock doesn’t seem to be coming back anytime soon, this could serve as a much-needed replacement, we think. -
MILF Island
Image Credit: Courtesy of NBCUniversal
A genius title and concept, to be sure: “25 super hot moms. 50 eighth-grade boys. No rules.” We’re more than a little grossed out by how young the boys are, but we can’t lie: We’d definitely be just as hooked on this trash as the TGS staffers were. -
Black Frasier
Image Credit: Courtesy of NBCUniversal
Toofer wrote for this all-Black Frasier reboot that was a big hit on BET — and having already burned through all 264 episodes of the original, we’d gladly dive into more tossed salad and scrambled eggs with these guys. -
Who Dat Ninja
Image Credit: Courtesy of NBCUniversal
Is this Tracy Morgan’s best film? It’s hard to argue with the poster… and that’s about all we have to go on. But it promises action, humor and mystery — who is dat ninja, really? — so what more do you want, people? -
Dealbreakers
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Liz Lemon listening to women’s tragic romantic problems and then telling them, “That’s a dealbreaker, ladies”? Oh, we would watch that talk show all day long, no doubt. (Too bad it never got on the air due to Liz’s crippling insecurity.) -
Queen of Jordan
Image Credit: Courtesy of NBCUniversal
This spot-on parody of Bravo’s Real Housewives franchise starring Tracy’s wife Angie was so fantastically convincing, it even inspired its own standalone episode — and introduced us to the greatness of Tituss Burgess! We need a three-part reunion hosted by Andy Cohen, stat. -
Leap Dave Williams
Image Credit: Courtesy of NBCUniversal
One of 30 Rock‘s kookiest flights of fancy was turning Leap Day into a national holiday, complete with seasonal outfits and a Santa Claus-type mascot named Leap Day William. It led to a hit movie starring Jim Carrey as a hapless guy who grows gills and transforms into the kindly mascot… and it might be Carrey’s best performance of the past decade? We would absolutely watch this movie on a loop on USA every Leap Day… because “real life is for March!”
