Quotes Of The Week For Nov. 11, 2018

FAMILY GUY

"Oh my God, Chris! That's silly, but it's still murder!"

"Relax. That Michelin Man had no family."

"He came from tires, Mom!"

Lois (Alex Borstein) expresses her concerns over Chris (Seth Green) and his new friend stabbing a tire company's mascot to death

THE WALKING DEAD

"I swear you'll never see us again."

"I know."

Carol (Melissa McBride), an instant before making sure that Jed (Rhys Coiro) kept his word by setting fire to him and the remaining Saviors

THIS IS US

"Vietna-cheese!"

Kevin (Justin Hartley) coins a term while posing for a photo after arriving in Vietnam

THE CONNERS

"I take my mother to services every Sunday just to remind God that she's still here, in case he forgot to take her."

Jackie (Laurie Metcalf) accompanies Bev to church for one reason and one reason only

AMERICAN HORROR STORY: APOCALYPSE

"My hair is an eternal mystery, never to be fully understood."

Myrtle Snow (Frances Conroy) feels the same way about her iconic mane as you do

RIVERDALE

"I'd recognize those abs anywhere."

Veronica (Camila Mendes) could pick Archie's ripped torso out of a police lineup, no problem

THE GOOD PLACE

"When is the right time to tell someone you were passionate lovers in an alternate timeline in the afterlife, but he doesn't remember because, technically, none of that happened in this strand of the multiverse? You know, I'll just check with Yahoo Answers. I'm sure someone's weighed in."

Eleanor (Kristen Bell) is maybe putting a little too much faith in Yahoo Answers

GREY'S ANATOMY

"He said I don't talk about my feelings enough... I don't share enough."

"He should do more surgeries with you."

Maggie (Kelly McCreary) tries — and fails — to unload Jackson's complaints on Meredith (Ellen Pompeo)

GREY'S ANATOMY (Bonus Quote!)

"I can't guide you out of the closet like some kind of gay Sherpa."

Nico (Alex Landi), rejecting Levi again... if only for the moment

THE DAILY SHOW WITH TREVOR NOAH

"Did you just order your 'Boycott Amazon' sign from Amazon?"

"Yeah. What am I gonna do, go to CVS? That place is nasty!"

Correspondent Jaboukie Young-White is (almost) ready to boycott Amazon's new headquarters in Queens

YOUNG SHELDON

"I'm just curious, if we ever did pick up and live somewhere else, how you'd feel about it."

"Well, if it was Hawaii, I'd feel pretty great. That's where they make Magnum, P.I."

"I don't think Hawaii is in the cards."

"How about Miami?"

"Let me guess, because of Miami Vice?"

"Golden Girls!"

George Sr. (Lance Barber) underestimates Georgie's (Montana Jordan) eclectic taste in TV shows

THE BIG BANG THEORY

"A bunch of people parachute onto an Island and fight it out to be the last man standing."

"Like Hunger Games?"

"More like Bachelor in Paradise, but not as cutthroat."

Howard (Simon Helberg) and Raj (Kunal Nayyar) describe Fortnite to Bernadette (Melissa Rauch)

SUPERSTORE

"We've got music. Go check out our CD section, it's all on clearance."

Glenn (Mark McKinney) tries to convince a customer that Cloud 9 has everything he could possibly want, without the cost of an Amazon Prime subscription

MURPHY BROWN

"If you owned Lehman Brothers stock or loved MySpace, you won't be happy. If you love Will & Grace and Magnum, P.I., you will be."

Murphy (Candice Bergen) updates Corky's friend after a 10-year coma — but what if she loved the Murphy Brown TV show?

THE FLASH

"I know you did not just cut me off, Miss Thing."

Iris (Candice Patton) and Nora have trouble "connecting"

HAWAII FIVE-0

"OK, Noelani, you're on Koa this play."

"Got it. I'll be all over him like actinic keratosis. [Off puzzled looks] It's a skin condition. Nasty stuff."

Noelani (Kimee Balmilero) is ready to rash the quarterback

HAWAII FIVE-0 (Bonus Quote!)

"So you're scared of Grandma, huh? It's all right. Dad's scared of Mom, too."

"Let me tell you something, grandson. Your grandma, she spent every waking minute taking care of me and your dad and your uncle. She worked 50 hours a week and still found time to cook our dinner every single night. The most important person I ever met in my life. And your momma, she spends every waking hour of her life taking care of you and your daddy and your sister, and she still finds time to fly back and forth to check on her parents. Me and your daddy, we spend every waking moment of our lives trying to be worthy. So yeah, yeah, we're scared. Scared of not measuring up."

Will gets an important lesson from Grandpa Percy (Louis Gossett Jr.)

THE ROOKIE

"He's probably at the thing."

"What thing?"

"Buy some more lemonade and I'll tell ya."

"Are you trying to extort a law enforcement officer?"

"No, it's basic supply-and-demand. I have something you need, so I can set the price."

"At least he's getting a quality education."

Lopez (Alyssa Diaz) squeezes a neighbor kid for intel

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

"Post Cereal has announced that they'll be making a new Sour Patch Kids-flavored cereal. It's a great way to start the morning off on the right foot... because the left foot was taken by diabetes."

LAST MAN STANDING

"Look at it this way: When God slams a door shut, he generally builds you a window."

"Dad, why is everything with you home improvement?"

Mike (Tim Allen) channels his inner Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor while giving Mandy (Molly McCook) a pep talk