TV Characters You'd Hate To Be Quarantined With, Ranked
What, your significant other or kid brother is getting on your quarantined nerves already? It could be worse, if you were instead cooped up with any of these 20 TV characters. They each have his or her own unique brand of irritating qualities, so it's tough to rank them from mildly tolerable to completely exasperating... but we did it anyway! Scroll away to see whom we'd most want to socially distance ourselves from.
Quarantine Characters Rose Nylund, Golden Girls
20. The Golden Girls' Rose Nylund
Think you're bored being stuck inside for weeks? Wait until this lovable dummy starts telling you one of her rambling, mind-numbing St. Olaf stories. Oh, she's got a million of 'em!
Quarantine Characters Russ Hanneman, Silicon Valley
13. Silicon Valley's Russ Hanneman
The opportunistic multi-billionaire and unapologetic asshat would drive you to drink and then, with your guard down and judgment impaired, convince you to sink (what's left of) your 401K into some experimental COVID-19 cure that a friend of a friend of a friend is working on overseas.
Quarantine Characters Screech, Saved By the Bell
19. Saved by the Bell's Screech
Sure, he's a kind-hearted and loyal friend, but the sort of art projects that fill his free time include gluing fake ears on worms. We rest our case.
Quarantine Characters Sheldon Cooper, The Big Bang Theory
16. The Big Bang Theory's Sheldon Cooper
While his intellingence might spark some interesting conversation, his stubbornness and other childish personality tics would make it feel like you're living with a bratty fourth grader.
Quarantine Characters Steve Urkel, Family Matters
8. Family Matters' Steve Urkel
Because there's only so many times one can hear, "Did I do thaaaat?" before they crack.
Quarantine Characters Adrian Monk, Monk
15. Monk's Adrian Monk
The coronavirus pandemic has turned us all into hypochondriacs and compulsive hand-washers. Add in a germaphobe with an intense fear of death, and you're home to the most anxiety-ridden quarantine in America.
Quarantine Characters Amunet, The Flash
7. The Flash's Amunet Black
Sure, her powers could come in handy if a battle for Charmin breaks out at the Piggly Wiggly, but can you imagine listening to her dramatic voice for days/weeks on end? (What is that accent?!)
Quarantine Characters Colin Robinson, What We Do In the Shadows
11. What We Do in the Shadows' Colin Robinson
If the virus doesn't get ya, Colin Robinson's 45-minute droning on the best and worst handwashing practices will.
Quarantine Characters Curtis Holt, Arrow
18. Arrow's Curtis Holt
The tech genius could probably fashion some gizmo to help pass the time (if not travel through it), but his constant need to make everything into a cutesy joke would have us shoving him out of the bunker after an hour.
Quarantine Characters Dwight Schrute, The Office
9. The Office's Dwight Schrute
Unless you want to do a reallllly deep dive on bears, beets and/or Battlestar Galactica, you best socially distance from Dunder Mifflin's peevish assistant (to the) regional manager.
Quarantine Characters Ellis Boyd, Smash
17. Smash's Ellis Boyd
The last thing you need in quarantine is a surreptitious roommate leaking your unfinished pre-Broadway demos to the world.
Quarantine Characters Frank Burns, M*A*S*H
14. M*A*S*H's Frank Burns
Major Burns is a whiny, wheedling, witless excuse for a soldier who splits his time between mooning over "Hot Lips" Houlihan and reporting his bunkmates for various infractions. Plus: He's not even a good doctor, lowering his quarantine desirability all the way down to nothing.
Quarantine Characters Hannibal Lecter, Hannibal
2. Hannibal's Hannibal Lecter
He's a charming, sophisticated conversationalist, to be sure. But when the food supply starts running low, he'll be sharpening his knives and looking in your direction. (In fact, he might not wait!)
Quarantine Characters Janice Hosenstein, Friends
3. Friends' Janice
OH. MY. GOD, would we go absolutely insane listening to that nasally, high-pitched voice for weeks on end. And that laugh? We believe Chandler said it best: "Kill me, kill me now."
Quarantine Characters Jay Blizerian, Big Mouth
12. Big Mouth's Jay Blizerian
It's not that we wouldn't want to offer our homes to Jay, who's probably better off quarantining with strangers than his own neglectful family. But the fact of the matter is this: We just value our pillows too much to hunker down with this perv.
Quarantine Characters Joffrey Baratheon, Game of Thrones
1. Game of Thrones' Joffrey Baratheon
Royal pains don't come more spoiled, entitled and sadistic than this pint-sized product of incest. On the bright side... um... hmm.. scratch that. There is no bright side. Self isolating with this subhuman gnat would be hell on earth.
Quarantine Characters Jonah Ryan, Veep
5. Veep's Jonah Ryan
Not only does Jonah clash with most of the members of Selina Meyer's team, but he's actively disliked by everyone he comes in contact with. He's slimy, duplicitous, morally repulsive, repugnant... need we go on?
Quarantine Characters Kirk Gleason, Gilmore Girls
6. Gilmore Girls' Kirk Gleason
Kirk has never had a ridiculous thought, awkward reaction or doomed-to-fail business idea that he hasn't decided to share with whomever is in earshot. Can you imagine being stuck somewhere with him, his pig and his black-and-white art films?
Quarantine Characters Matt Bevers, Broad City
4. Broad City's Bevers
Maintaining good hygiene is more important than ever, so excuse us for not wanting to go into quarantine with someone known to (ahem) poop in people's shoes.
Quarantine Characters Grouchy Smurf, The Smurfs
10. The Smurfs' Grouchy Smurf
The uptight sourpuss literally hates everything. And he's not shy about expressing his raging antipathy. Over and over and over and over....