Quotes Of The Week For Oct. 21, 2018

THE GOOD PLACE

"I suppose a little entrepreneurial spirit never hurt anyone. You know, reach for the stars, as I said to my good friend Elon Musk. And then he shot his car into space! [pause] What a weird creep. Why was I friends with him?"

Tahani (Jameela Jamil) recalls her friendship with the Tesla CEO

SUPERSTORE

"I like hearing the same song. You always know what you're getting, no surprises... My workout mix is just 12 tracks of Billy Joel's 'For the Longest Time.' Well, that's on leg day. On arm days, it's 'Scenes From an Italian Restaurant.'"

Dina (Lauren Ash) gets pumped up for her workouts... by listening to the Piano Man?

THE CONNERS (Bonus Quote!)

"I don't know how you handled it with me, sneaking in and out of Darlene's bedroom all the time. You guys were right downstairs when we were going at it, and we weren't exactly quiet."

"You know, David, if you disappeared, everybody would think you just ran off again."

"I pushed too hard. I felt it."

David (Johnny Galecki) shares a bit too much with Dan (John Goodman)

THE CONNERS

"You crystal-licking, patchouli-smelling, hippie bitch!"

Darlene (Sara Gilbert) blows up at David's girlfriend Blue for overstepping her bounds with Harris

DANCING WITH THE STARS

"Ninety years?! You're clearly moisturizing."

Mickey Mouse is about to celebrate his 90th birthday, and host Tom Bergeron is amazed by the Disney icon's lack of wrinkles

THE WALKING DEAD

"You want me to stop creating the foundations of a new civilization?"

"I can think of another way to build for the future."

Rick (Andrew Lincoln), suggesting that Michonne (Danai Gurira) take a break from her work... to work on making a baby with him

DC'S LEGENDS OF TOMORROW

"I was just telling Sara about—"

"An exorcism he has to do, in Georgetown."

Let us guess, it involves a 12-year-old girl named Regan...?

MADAM SECRETARY

"I knew I knew you! You're a Real Housewife, right?"

"That's right!"

Secretary of State Elizabeth McCord (Téa Leoni) doesn't burst the bubble of Cheryl (Crystal Bock), who's sitting nearby during jury duty

THIS IS US

"You're good, man. You're a parent's dream: straight As, good manners, no idea how to have sex."

Teen Kevin (Logan Shroyer) doesn't do much to calm Randall's nerves as he prepares to meet his girlfriend's parents on Prom Night

MIDNIGHT, TEXAS

"How do you know he's not legit?"

"He's wearing Lululemon!"

When The Rev (Yul Vazquez) is willing to give Kai the benefit of the doubt, Olivia (Arielle Kebbel) has already made up her mind about the so-called "healer"

SUPERNATURAL

"It's just every time I think about it, it's like a nightmare. I mean, I can't eat, I can't sleep. It's always just there, watching."

"Dean, it's just a beard. I've been a little busy lately."

"Yeah, well, that's not an excuse. 'Cause Duck Dynasty called, and they want it all back."

Dean (Jensen Ackles) razzes Sam (Jared Padalecki) about his facial scruff

THE ROOKIE

"What is their problem?!"

"They think they're better than us."

"When you make detective, are you going to behave like that?"

"Hell yeah. But it'll actually be true."

Nolan (Nathan Fillion) asks Bishop (Afton Williamson) for the 411 on two detectives

THE NEIGHBORHOOD

"It's basically white wine, pomegranate juice and fresh fruit."

"And in a mason jar! It's like a real-life Pinterest post!"

Marty (Marcel Spears) geeks out over Gemma's (Beth Behrs) party cocktails

SEAL TEAM

"One day your mother and I went for a drive, pulled over, decided to go for a hike. We had a bottle of wine..."

"If you're gonna show us where one of us was conceived, I swear I will puke."

Emma (Kerri Medders) is leery of Dad's impromptu family excursion

FULL FRONTAL WITH SAMANTHA BEE

"This is not America's finest hour in terms of how we treat trans people, not that we've had many fine hours. So far, it's pretty much just the premiere of Pose, six episodes of Pose and the season finale of Pose."

MODERN FAMILY

"It just feels inappropriate being dressed like this. I should be in something darker with a cap sleeve."

Cam (Eric Stonestreet) is worried his Meghan Markle costume isn't appropriate while Claire and Mitchell mourn the death of [Spoiler]

LEGACIES

"I'm an equal opportunity evil temptress, and your binary assumptions about sexuality are dated."

You've got to love Penelope (Lulu Antariksa) for managing to seduce and educate MG in the same breath

CRAZY EX-GIRLFRIEND

"The job is inherently crappy/
That's why you've never met a lawyer who's happy/
It's a guaranteed soul-destroyer/
Don't be a lawyer!"

Jim (Burl Moseley) makes a very convincing argument against pursuing the legal profession — and it rhymes!

HAWAII FIVE-0

"Shhhh — he's sleeping."

With a clothesline punch, Grover (Chi McBride) puts a runner down for an early nap

CRIMINAL MINDS

"I pretty much grew up watching all the CSIs, so it definitely influenced my choice of specialty."

Gee, Guest Star, doesn't Special Agent Alvez (CSI: Miami alum Adam Rodriguez) look a bit familiar to you then...?

DC'S LEGENDS OF TOMORROW (Bonus Quote!)

"Maybe the Bureau will up our ratings. People do love the supernatural."

Ray (Brandon Routh) has a meta thought, after Gary's nipple is munched by a magically malevolent unicorn