Quotes Of The Week For July 14, 2019

STRANGER THINGS (Episode 8)

"I'm sorry, why is this 4-year-old speaking to me?"

"I'm 10, you bald bastard!"

Murray (Brett Gelman) gets schooled on life in the Starcourt Mall trenches from Lucas' sister Erica (Priah Ferguson)

STRANGER THINGS (Episode 8 — Bonus Quote!)

"So just to be clear, this big, fleshy spider thing that hurt El, it's some kind of gigantic weapon? But instead of, like, screws and metal, the Mind Flayer made its weapon with melted people?"

"Yes, exactly."

"OK. Yeah, I'm just making sure."

Steve (Joe Keery) gets caught up on what the heroes topside have been up to

LEGION

"OK, in the future, if there are time demons... tell me about the time demons."

David (Dan Stevens) gives time traveler Switch a fairly straightforward and understandable directive

BIG LITTLE LIES

"Shut the f—k up for the rest of your f—ked-up f—king life. Do you hear me? I don't want to hear one f—king word from your f—ked-up, little f—king twerp mouth on why you f—ked up, no matter what f—ked-up excuse you come up with, you f—king f—k s—t f—khead!"

Renata (Laura Dern) is maybe a little upset after learning her husband Gordon slept with the nanny

ANIMAL KINGDOM

"Who's gonna bake the pie?"

Craig (Ben Robson), as concerned with the Codys' post-heist ritual as he is with potential glitches on the actual job

FEAR THE WALKING DEAD

"I don't know what you did, but I know you made up for it."

Annie (Bailey Gavulic), urging Alicia to let go of her guilt after she singlehandedly saved all the kids from a pack of walkers

THE CODE

"We're at the goal line, lieutenant. No need to take our foot off the gas."

"That is such a mixed metaphor."

"You understood what I meant, didn't you?"

"Totally. We should drive our race car into the end zone."

Abe (Luke Mitchell) waves off Harper's (Phillipa Soo) reduced plea deal

LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS (Bonus Quote!)

"California congressman Eric Swalwell has announced he is dropping out of the Democratic presidential race. Swalwell made the decision after realizing that he didn't know which one he was either."

MARVEL'S AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D.

"What the Hell, May? Really, you are going to shoot a guy in holding, and then just go silent? Uh, silenter?"

Daisy (Chloe Bennet) gets the extra-silent treatment from Sarge's would-be assassin

THE DETOUR

"So how's your year been? I mean, what's the story?"

"You want the long version or the short version?"

"Uh... which one's faster?"

Jared (Liam Carroll) — sweet, dim Jared — catches up with sister Delilah (Ashley Gerasimovich)

JANE THE VIRGIN

"I'm not scared of you anymore, because I am an American now, bitch!"

Sweet Alba (Ivonne Coll) confronts Magda

SUITS

"We need to put out a press release as soon as possible."

"Then you came to the right place, because Donna is top-notch at releases."

"Why, thank you, Harvey. You're not so bad yourself."

"Would you please stop stroking each other's egos. I'm just as good at releasing as either one of you. In fact, I hammered one out this morning."

Louis (Rick Hoffman) is talking about work, and Harvey (Gabriel Macht) and Donna (Sarah Rafferty) are talking about... well, something else entirely

LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS

"This is besides the point, but three of the congresswomen you're attacking were born here, and they're all American citizens. So if you're asking them to fix the totally broken, crime-infested governments of their home countries, they're trying."

Meyers fires back at President Trump after his racist tweets about Congress' so-called "squad"

THE BACHELORETTE

"I have had sex."

"Say what?"

"Yeah. And Jesus still loves me."

Hannah informs the annoyingly judgmental Luke that she did, in fact, get busy in the Fantasy Suite with another suitor — and she's not going to feel guilty about it

THE BACHELORETTE (Bonus Quote!)

"I didn't just go to the Fantasy Suite, I f—ked in a windmill. And guess what? We did it a second time."

Hannah spills all the tea about her overnight date with Peter, while gleefully torpedoing her relationship with Luke

KRYPTON

"Don't just stand there. Keep an eye out — mine is busy." 

Jax (Hannah Waddingham) eyes a breakout