Oh really, Confucius? Just two graves? Does that mean Sammy might still be alive out there somewhere, assuming he hasn’t attempted to “go to New Jersey on business”? #WhiteGold
"When I first sat down to plan tonight's occasion, I was immediately taken with the idea of an evening inspired by primal bookends."
What a perfect introduction to Victoria Grayson. When most people plan a theme party, it's something stupid like "no-clothes" or "under-the-sea." But Victoria? PRIMAL FREAKIN' BOOKENDS.
Hey, remember when we spent half a season believing this was Daniel? I’ll never forget the first time Revenge got away with lying to us…
…Speaking of which, someone should have told Victoria to save her voice for when she actually discovers Daniel’s dead body in Season 4.
[Presented without comment.]
Of all the characters on this show, Nolan clearly underwent the biggest transformation. Does this shy, awkward creeper look anything like present-day Nolan — the smoothest operator in all the Hamptons?
“These guys really put the suck in seersucker.”
(Man, even Nolan’s jokes have gotten better.)
And don’t even get me started on Nolan’s Season 1 fashion. What was this?
Aww! I forgot this is how Emily and Nolan used to say hello.
Moving right along…
Why, Declan? Why?! (That outcry isn’t in response to his Season 2 death, by the way. It’s more about his general existence.)
"Yo, 8 Mile! Private party over here!"
Look, there he is again!
Say, did we ever figure out the truth behind Declan’s mysteriously thick “Long Island” accent? The one he shared with neither his brother nor his father? I guess that’s one secret he took to his grave.
And here’s David Clarke flippin’ burgers in a flashback.
If you think that’s cute, just wait ’til you see him self-mutilate with a set of rusty chains in Season 4! Cute overload.
Honestly, though, after everything we’ve seen from David Clarke — including, but not limited to, murdering people in cold blood — how creepy is this face?!
There’s actually nothing of significance about this picture… other than I feel like it should be framed over a fireplace.
“Grey suit boy’s kind of cute.”
(Oh, Emily… You won’t be thinking that next season when he shoots you on your wedding night. Just saying.)
Boom! The moment Emily and Victoria first locked eyes remains iconic…
…but it would have been even better if Ashley hadn’t photobombed the hell out of it.
(Hey, you! Down in the back!)
And the pilot ends, as so many episodes did, with “Emily” and Victoria sizing each other up from their respective porches.