Quotes Of The Week For July 20, 2014

THE FOSTERS

"Nobody wants to be in Moscow... Unless you're Raskolnikov and you're trying to escape the anguish of what you did..."

An upset (and high) Brandon (David Lambert), referencing Crime and Punishment as he contemplates his guilt

DEVIOUS MAIDS

"I keep wondering, how in God's name did we manage to outlast so many other couples? I think it's our sense of humor."

"Oh, I was going to credit our high tolerance for adultery and perversion. Either way!"

Adrian (Tom Irwin) and Evelyn (Rebecca Wisocky), waxing nostalgic on the occasion of their anniversary

DEVIOUS MAIDS (Bonus Quote!)

"He's kinda famous."

"Well, not 'kinda.' I've been nominated for a Grammy five times."

"Wow! How many did you win?"

"I don't like to talk about awards."

Spence (Grant Show), introducing a clueless Rosie (Dania Ramirez) to Michael Feinstein

TEEN WOLF

"As a reminder, this is why I come up with the plans. Your plans suck!"

Stiles (Dylan O'Brien), reacting to Scott (Tyler Posey) biting Liam, then kidnapping the freshman and bringing him to Scott's house

DEFIANCE (Bonus Quote!)

"Judas Priest..."

Rafe (Graham Greene), realizing that Stahma will join him in the bath — to "welcome" him to her home

SALEM

"All things return, like every salty tear returns to the sea. This is something one learns."

"As a witch?"

"As a woman."

Mary (Janet Montgomery), speaking to John (Shane West) as they reunite the halves of the silver coin they both hold so dear

THE WENDY WILLIAMS SHOW

"I recognize those boobs!"

Wendy, marveling at the ample chest of an otherwise not terribly accurate, life-sized 50th birthday cake made in her likeness

PRETTY LITTLE LIARS

"The cops in this town should be driving around in clown cars."

Caleb (Tyler Blackburn), expressing disbelief that Toby's house exploding was explained away as a natural gas leak

MISTRESSES

"I'm here to apologize."

"For being married? Apology not accepted!"

Daniel (Ricky Whittle), getting some major blowback after his lover April (Rochelle Aytes) discovers he's secretly had a wife the whole time they've been together

MISTRESSES (Bonus Quote!)

"He makes boobs all day and then he gets text messages of boobs all night. It's kind of gross."

"Since when do you find boobs gross? You seemed to quite like 'em last year when you were a [giggle] lesbian."

Harry (Brett Tucker), amusing himself while offering advice to Joss (Jes Macallan) about her plastic-surgeon boyfriend

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE

"Emily, do you speak French?"

"No."

"Your body does."

Guest judge Misty Copeland, marveling at a contestant's movement to Nina Simone's "Ne Me Quitte Pas"

CHASING LIFE

"You'll come around eventually. You're going to love me."

Leo (Scott Michael Foster), making a (prophetic?) declaration to April (Italia Ricci)

CHASING LIFE (Bonus Quote!)

"Graham, I am not pregnant!"
"Well if you are, just let me know ASAP. Because if you're going to turn my bedroom into a nursery then I'm going to have to find a new place, which takes forever. I don't want to end up some random dude's couch. This is also about me, you know!"

Dominic's roommate (Rob Kerkovich) and April (Italia Ricci), discussing why she was throwing up.

MASTERS OF SEX

"Like a collie. Keeps barking till someone tosses it a treat."

Bill (Michael Sheen), describing Ethan when his call interrupts a tryst with Virginia

FINDING CARTER

"Croutons? Are you serious? I love croutons! The first salad I ever made was a bowl of croutons and some blue cheese dressing on it... I still make it sometimes."

Max (Alex Saxon), reacting to Taylor making his favorite salad topping

SWITCHED AT BIRTH

"I feel like the guy in Alien right before his stomach explodes."

Bay (Vanessa Marano), vividly describing her labor pains