Quotes Of The Week For Aug. 27, 2017
mtv-vmas-katy-perry-billy-eichner-quote
MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS
"Blink twice if you're JonBenét Ramsey."
Billy Eichner tries to get Katy Perry to confirm a crazy Internet conspiracy theory
insecure-season-2-kelli-david-oyelowo
INSECURE
"Did you know David Oyelowo was with a white woman? Mmmm. And he was in Selma."
Kelli (Natasha Rothwell) is not happy with the actor's choice in women
last-ship-gin-joints-quote
THE LAST SHIP
"Of all the gin joints in all the towns...."
Slattery (Adam Baldwin) is gobsmacked to find MIA Chandler on Sardinia, brawling as "Hercules"
twin-peaks-fuck-kind-of-neighborhood-quote
TWIN PEAKS
"The f—k kind of neighborhood is this?"
"People are under a lot stress, Bradley."
The Mitchum Brothers (Jim Belushi, Robert Knepper) witness a suburban shootout — automatic weapons included!
twin-peaks-i-am-the-fbi-quote
TWIN PEAKS (Bonus Quote!)
"What about the FBI?"
"I am the FBI."
Yep, Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) is "100 percent" back!
difficult-people-modern-family-quote
DIFFICULT PEOPLE
"Ugh! Role play? Gross. That's just improv, naked. Like on Modern Family, when Julie Bowen pretends to be someone slightly less boring than for Valentine's Day."
Julie (Julie Klausner) is clearly not a fan of Claire Dunphy's alter ego Juliana
shooter want food quote
SHOOTER
"Listen, about last year...."
"When you set me up?"
"It wasn't my plan to send those guys kill you in prison."
"Well! Want some of my food?"
Isaac (Omar Epps) tries to make amends to Bob Lee (Ryan Phillippe) for the whole attempted murder thing
episodes carol i blew wilmer valderrama quote
EPISODES
"It's like, I remember this one particular day. I was in New York for the Upfronts. It was my first one, and I was so young... and in that one day, I was in the room when they cancelled The John Stamos Show, I saw Brooke Shields in the lobby of my hotel, and that night, I [hooked up with] Wilmer Valderrama in the bathroom at the after-party. It was just the most magical day... and I thought, 'Oh my God, look at my life!' And now, oh my God, look at my life!"
Down-on-her-luck Carol (Kathleen Rose Perkins), "regaling" maid Rosa with reminiscences about her glory days
insecure issa its on you quote
INSECURE (Bonus Quote!)
"Hi! Can I have a double-cheeseburger meal, please? And get whatever you want, girl — it's on you."
Hella broke Issa (Issa Rae), ordering lunch... on Molly
the bold and the beautiful sheila almost doesnt count
THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL
"You're insane! You almost killed me!"
"Well, trust me, 'almost' doesn't count."
Sheila (Kimberlin Brown), "helping" Quinn (Rena Sofer) understand the difference between murder and attempted murder
blood drive back nine quote
BLOOD DRIVE
"Sorry, love. No back nine for you."
Slink (Colin Cunningham) cancels the network exec's head/body attachment
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GAME OF THRONES
"You stand accused of murder. You stand accused of treason. How do you answer these charges... Lord Baelish?"
Just when Sansa (Sophie Turner) seemed ready to put her sister on trial, she instead turns the tables on master manipulator Littlefinger
the-daily-show-taylor-swift-sanctions-quote
THE DAILY SHOW WITH TREVOR NOAH
"Kim Jong-un tested three short-range ballistic missiles. The United Nations responded to him, saying if this nonsense continues, they will impose sanctions. Taylor Swift released a new single. The United Nations responded to her, saying if this nonsense continues, they will impose sanctions."
zoo witty comeback quote
ZOO
"By killing Abigail, you just ended the world. [Met with silence] No witty comeback?"
Mr. Duncan (Billy Burke) leaves Jamie speechless
mr mercedes back to school quote
MR. MERCEDES
"Go back to school."
"Uh, it's summertime. School's out."
"Go back to somethin', then."
Bill (Brendan Gleeson) tries to keep Jerome (Jharrel Jerome) out of harm's way
mr mercedes they say quote
MR. MERCEDES (Bonus Quote!)
"You know, they say that that much electricity hitting your body all at once is pleasurable."
"Who'd be left alive to say that?"
Deborah (Kelly Lynch) tries to put the death of Brady's (Harry Treadway) utility pole worker dad in the best... light. #TooSoon?
night shift nose job quote
THE NIGHT SHIFT
"We stopped asking for justice and decided to take it! We vote where the power is, and our power's in the streets!"
"Honey, that's a top-of-the-line nose job. You don't look very 'street' to me."
Jordan (Jill Flint) puts a protester's (Kasha Kropinski) rhetoric in perspective
salvation took one for team quote
SALVATION
"Jillian, what happened with Amanda.... I only kissed her as a distraction, so that I could clone her phone."
"Sounds like it was horrible. You really took one for the team."
Jillian (Jacqueline Ayers) plays the tiniest fiddle for Liam's (Charlie Rowe) lips
suits-batman-robin-gordon-quote
SUITS
"You think we need to find our Commissioner Gordon."
"How'd you know that?"
"Because I know Batman, and I know that he needs someone on the inside who's working with him behind the scenes."
"Look at you, you do know Batman."
Batman and Robin Harvey (Gabriel Macht) and Mike (Patrick J. Adams) team up to help Alex
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THE FOSTERS
"I remember the theme of my prom. It was 'Right Here, Right Now.' [Off her kids' blanks stares] The Jesus Jones song. Nobody? Wow, I'm old."
Stef (Teri Polo) shows her age
chesapeake-shores-everybody-hates-me-at-first-quote
CHESAPEAKE SHORES
"If you're still not ready, I am."
"She hates you."
"Everybody hates me — at first."
"Or at second, third..."
Connor (Andrew Francis) and Kevin (Brendan Penny) after the former fails to win over a pretty girl