Quotes Of The Week For Feb. 2, 2020
We've rounded up the best TV quotes from Feb. 2 through Feb. 8, 2020. Scroll through our gallery of zingers, bon mots and one-liners below, then tell us if we missed any of your favorite lines from this week's television!
the-bachelor-champagne-grandfather-died-quote
THE BACHELOR (Bonus Quote!)
"Kelsey is a hot mess. She's been crying for weeks. She cried over a champagne bottle for four days. I don't think when my grandpa died I cried for that long."
Tammy uses the most brutal brand of honesty to weigh in on her melodramatic rival
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CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM
"I'm worried you're not taking this seriously. You're blithely eating an apple here..."
"There's no other way to eat an apple but blithely. That's how apples are eaten."
Larry (Larry David) and his lawyer (Ben Shenkman) disagree on apple-eating etiquette
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BROOKLYN NINE-NINE
"It's Dad! I mean, Captain Holt! I mean, Captain Dad! I mean, Officer Holt. I mean, Officer Dad!"
Jake (Andy Samberg) doesn't know what to call Dad — er, Holt — following his removal as captain of the Nine-Nine
brooklyn-nine-nine-zika-cologne-quote
BROOKLYN NINE-NINE (Bonus Quote!)
"I spent all of yesterday in a room with Hitchcock and his new cologne, which can't be good for the baby. It is literally called Zika."
Amy (Melissa Fumero), who thinks she might be pregnant, worries about exposing her baby to Hitchcock's potentially infectious scent
legends-of-tomorrow-hindenburg-quote
DC'S LEGENDS OF TOMORROW
"It's awful. The worst thing I've seen in my life, and I was there when the Hindenburg went down!"
A fleeing club-goer reacts to Ava's drunken rendition of Bell Biv DeVoe's "Poison"
indebted-kris-kross-david-cross-quote
INDEBTED
"We are drowning in debt."
"How is that possible? I had Kris Kross and David Cross at my bar mitzvah!"
Dave's (Adam Pally) reaction to his father's (Steven Weber) big news pretty much explains everything
katy-keene-riverdale-murder-capital-quote
KATY KEENE
"I am from Riverdale. It is the murder capital of the world. I'll be fine."
Josie (Ashleigh Murray) was born to be a New Yorker
greys-anatomy-killed-him-with-gayness-quote
GREY'S ANATOMY
"I killed him. I killed him with my gayness."
Levi (Jake Borelli) thinks his coming-out did in his Uncle Saul
station-19-cartoon-character-idiot-quote
STATION 19
"I may be hot, and my muscles, they're large. And I kinda look like a cartoon character. But I'm not entirely an idiot."
Dean (Okieriete Onaodowan), wisely trying to back away from Vic's invitation to crash a dinner party
greys-anatomy-shut-hospital-down-quote
GREY'S ANATOMY (Bonus Quote!)
"Catherine, what in the hell do you want with my hospital?"
"Well, you said that the place is turning around. It could be a good investment. Or maybe I'll just shut it down."
Catherine (Debbie Allen), reminding Richard (James Pickens Jr.) that she's not a woman you ever want to scorn
will-and-grace-shrunk-the-vodka-quote
WILL & GRACE
"They shrunk the vodka. They shrunk the vodka!"
Karen (Megan Mullally), making a horrifying discovery about flying coach
the-bachelor-alayah-made-her-bed-quote
THE BACHELOR
"She made her bed, and she has to... Alayah in it."
Natasha gleefully stumbles upon some wordplay as she discusses polarizing fellow contestant Alayah
the-bold-type-mrs-dick-hunter-quote
THE BOLD TYPE
"Oh, my God, you could be Mrs. Dick Hunter!"
Jane (Katie Stevens) has an epiphany about Sutton's engagement to Richard Hunter
the-flash-thats-too-much-quote
THE FLASH
"That's... too much."
Barry (Grant Gustin) watches Diggle load up on Tums before getting supersped to Lian Yu
the-flash-infinite-harrison-wells-quote
THE FLASH (Bonus Quote!)
"An infinite number of Harrison Wellses.... and we're stuck with the one who killed the multiverse."
Cisco (Carlos Valdes) still sees Nash as a pariah
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law-and-order-svu-iowa-election-quote
LAW & ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT
"I'm in Iowa, trying to blend in."
"Good luck. Why are you there?"
"Election fraud. We're living in a dystopian nightmare."
An eerily prescient Barba (Raul Esparza) checks in during a video call with Benson (Mariska Hargitay)
the-masked-singer-the-big-c-quote
THE MASKED SINGER
"I'm here for the big C — conviction."
"I thought it was something else."
Judge Nicole Scherzinger gets passionate in her discussion of White Tiger's performance... and host Nick Cannon notices
locke-and-key-norman-bates-quote
LOCKE & KEY (Episode 1)
"It's bigger than the pictures. It's also a little more Norman Bates."
Tyler (Connor Jessup) sizes up the new (but old) family home
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CRIMINAL MINDS (Bonus Quote!)
"Take it from the guy who just married his third ex-wife for the second time..."
Rossi (Joe Mantegna) offers Prentiss some sage relationship advice... we think
criminal-minds-really-got-a-type-quote
CRIMINAL MINDS
"Wow. You really have a type, don't you?"
Cat (Aubrey Plaza) learns that Spencie's not-a-girlfriend Maxine (allegedly) has her own murderous streak
black-lightning-not-very-black-quote
BLACK LIGHTNING
"You know, I can't stand a self-hating Black man. But then again, you ain't that black."
Nurse Allen (Euseph Messiah) makes light of Tobias' albinism