Glee's Best And Worst Couples

Remember when Blaine moved back to Ohio and started dating the guy who made his ex-fiancé's high school experience a living hell, then flaunted that relationship in Kurt's face as if anyone would ever be able to handle something like that? Me neither. This never happened.

Two beards do not a healthy relationship make. Thank God Glee quickly took a razor to this closeted sham of a couple.

This entire relationship can be summed up by a quote from Finn, upon losing his virginity to Santana: "I don't feel anything... 'cause it didn't mean anything."

Honestly, I'm a little scared to do the math on this one. Plus, I'm pretty sure the looks on Puck's and Kitty's faces say it all, so let's just agree that it was gross and move on.

The whole "male escort" thing aside — that's a deal breaker, ladies! — Brody was actually a great catch. Good dancer, decent singer, and who didn't enjoy those naked breakfasts? Like, find me a better way to start your day, I dare you.

In hindsight, this photo probably wasn't the best choice to illustrate Ryder and Kitty, who bonded over the fact that they were both molested as children.

First of all, the guy's name was Biff, so you knew this 'ship wasn't built to sail. Still, Crawford's brief stint as Quinn's college sweetheart on the show's 100th episode helped illustrate an important truth: Once you've dated within the confines of the glee club, no outside relationship will ever last. It's just science.

"Oh, [she didn't] like living under [his] spotlight."

Not only did Brittany snatch up Artie's sweet little virginity, but she later cheated on him with Santana. That's right, folks, Artie was once in a love triangle (of sorts) with Glee's top lesbian duo. Let that sink in for a minute.

Is this the big secret about Harry Hamlin that Kim Richards threatened to expose on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills a few weeks ago?

Oh my God, remember when Artie got chlamydia?

Terri was a special kind of Season 1 crazy, and she really did love Will... in her own fake-a-pregnancy, use-the-flu-to-seduce-you kind of way. Take note, kids: This is how all high-school sweethearts end up, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Will's relationship — or whatever it was — with April proved that his marriage to Terri left to left him with an insatiable taste for pure crazy.

A 'ship built with lies — in this case, Tina was faking her stutter to feel closer to Artie — simply cannot sail. Her magical summer at Asian camp with Mike Chang was merely the nail in the coffin of #Tartie or #Artina or whatever they were called.

All that needs to be said about this brief Season 1 relationship is that it began with the following pick-up line: "Girl, you got more curves than a Nissan ad."

Don't feel bad if you forgot about Sugar and Artie's brief romance. If it helps, Artie competed against Rory for Sugar's affections — and who remembers Rory?

The entire basis of Rachel and Puck's brief Season 1 relationship came down to this revelation, which Puck claimed he received in a dream: "Rachel was a hot Jew and the good Lord wanted me to get into her pants." This does not even compute.

Five seasons later, I don't know what's weirder to think about: that Santana used to be with Puck, or that she literally got into a physical fight with Mercedes over him. Season 1 was scary, you guys.

What is there to even say about this flash-in-the-pan connection? When confined to a wheelchair, Quinn seemed to dig Joe's Christian caveman vibes, but as soon as her legs started working again, she walked away and never looked back.

While it may have felt like a fever dream — and, honestly, it probably should have been — Brittany briefly fell for Kurt's Pinocchio-esque charm in Season 1. The only guy in school Brittany hadn't made out with, Kurt accepted her invitation to "tap" that, then asked the magical question all girls dream of hearing from the guy with whom they're making out: "What do boys' lips taste like?"

A slice of Wonder Bread and a container of plain Greek yogurt who met on Christian Mingle would be a more dynamic, layered couple than Marley and Ryder. No shade, though.

Real talk: If these two had first kissed at a basement party in the '50s, they would still be in a loveless, sexless marriage to this very day. Fortunately for them (and Kurt), this nonsense went down in 2011, and they were able to recognize that it just wouldn't work out.

Another blink-and-you-missed-it couple, Santana became smitten with Sam after seeing him in those magical Rocky Horror shorts, then dumped him because he wasn't popular enough to make her Prom Queen. Plus, you know, that whole lesbian thing.

Kitty-Jake felt a little too much like an attempt at Quinn-Puck 2.0 for my taste. Let's just be glad no one got pregnant this time, OK?

You can't really blame Will for falling in love with Paltrow's substitute extraordinaire. I mean, have you seen his hair? The guy loves goop! (Thanks, I'll be here all week.)

Wait... Was this Kitty's healthiest relationship on the show? That poor, poor girl.

These two met when Lauren rescued Puck from a locked porta-potty. I think we're done here.

Everybody makes mistakes in college.

We know almost nothing about these two, let alone their potential as a couple, but dating Jane is a major step up from (basically) dating his sister, so Mason gets my blessing.

It was bold of Glee to introduce a new relationship like this with less than five episodes left, but it totally worked. The low-drama aspect was also a nice touch, proving that McKinley High really has become a more tolerant — and, apparently, slushie-free — place over the years.

Were it not for Finn's interjection, McKinley's short-lived "Ken and Barbie" might have actually stood the test of time. Oh well.

Controversial statement: I think these two were seriously underrated as a couple, if only for their voices, which melted together like two sticks of butter on a baby angel's butt on a hot day in heaven. I'd like to submit their criminally under-appreciated mashup of "Crazy" and "(You Drive Me) Crazy" into evidence:

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_D7fJRNi-L0]

(Seriously, it's not their fault they were given so little to work with.)

These two made sweet music together, both in their band and their bedroom(s), but the X Factor judge quickly became just that to Santana: an ex. Were Lovato not a more in-demand star, who knows what could have been...

Much like Sam's relationship with Rachel, this dalliance with Brittany was one of convenience for ol' Trouty Mouth. With Santana off at school and no legitimate prospects for Sam at home, what else were they to do? They would have made the dumbest, most beautiful babies, though.

No one was screaming "OTP!" when Jesse helped egg Rachel in Season 1 — not that that's even a thing one would scream — but, oh, how things have changed in five years. Their chemistry during last week's performance of "Listen to Your Heart" was undeniable. Like he said, they "make great music together," and I'm all ears.

Mike was like the Rudolph to Tina's Island of Misfit Toys, someone who could appreciate a truly beautiful disaster. And, honestly, Tina's never been quite right in the head since their split. Remember when she "vapo-raped" Blaine? I can't really blame Mike for turning down her proposal at the double-gay wedding — that girl is nuts.

As flawed as it was, how can you possibly hate on a relationship that blessed us with this iconic shot of Finn's O face?

These two were never endgame, but Sam always had Rachel's best interest at heart, and he was definitely the right guy to help ease her back into the dating world after Finn's death. (The fact that he was also the only straight, single, age-appropriate guy in her life certainly didn't hurt.)

What began as a drunken, unprotected one-night stand has flourished into something truly beautiful. ... OK, that's definitely an exaggeration, but you have to admit there's an undeniable charm about these crazy kids. They might not be the perfect couple, but they certainly deserve each other.

This unlikely pair was one of the brighter spots of Season 5, and it's a shame things didn't work out between them. That said, who knows what the future holds for these two? With Sam and Rachel now a thing of the past, I'm thinking a full-on Samcedes series finale reunion is in order.

Only someone with Will's eccentric dating history would look at Emma and think "marriage material," but maybe that's why they're perfect for each other. Plus, he never has to worry about her hogging his spotlight, because she's literally never on camera!

The electricity between these two was always insane, so I'm kind of surprised the universe didn't implode when they finally stopped beating around the bush — so to speak — after Will and Emma's (first) wedding. Like, Quinn's definitely not staying in the guest room the next time she visits newlyweds Brittany and Santana, right?

The good 'ship Klaine has weathered many a storm over the past six seasons, from Blaine's cheating to Blaine's eating to that time they covered One Direction in front of Shirley MacLaine for some reason. And even though getting married at someone else's wedding feels like questionable etiquette, Glee's story wouldn't have been complete had these two ended on different pages.

Arguably the most genetically flawless twosome in this entire gallery, Brittany and Santana have and always will be endgame. In a show full of uncertainty and flip-flopping, somehow you just knew these two would end up together in the end.

Oh, come on, did you really expect to see a different couple in the top spot? This entire show was built upon Finchel's mighty shoulders, and regardless of how things end Friday, we'll all know that's not how it was supposed to be. A flashback of Finn and Rachel together is always a devastating reminder that not everyone gets the happy ending they deserve.