Quotes Of The Week For Dec. 2, 2018

THE VOICE

"I want you to know, I love you, I appreciate what you've done here tonight... but I gotta fight for my girl, and I gotta make sure that I represent her properly in this moment, because she didn't have a chance to use her voice tonight, so I'm gonna use it for her as well as I possibly can to make sure she can make it next week."

Adam Levine, setting off a firestorm by making it clear to DeAndre Nico — and us — how much less interested his coach was in him making the Top 8 than Reagan Strange, who'd been too ill to perform

THE CONNERS

"If you ever do something like this again, I will move in here and so help me, I will bring Mom with me!"

Jackie (Laurie Metcalf) threatens to move in — and bring Bev along with her — if Dan ever meddles in her relationship again

VANDERPUMP RULES

"This year, I've been striving to be more balanced. You could either do three full shots, probably feel like s—t. Or you can do six half shots. That's six times the glory, six times the camaraderie... half the alcohol."

Don't put Tom Schwartz in charge of your alcohol consumption... or anything involving math, really (yes, he's holding up seven fingers)

THE MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL (Episode 1)

"It's not enough that women have to compete with other women. Now men are getting in the mix? You can't have it all! You can't run the world and have all the pretty underwear, too!"

Midge (Rachel Brosnahan) is offended that the drag performers in Paris look better in a dress than she does

LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS

"That's right. Trump was caught on a hot mic [at the G20 Summit] saying, 'Get me out of here.' First of all: We're trying."

ARROW

"We didn't get this treatment when we put Diaz behind bars."

"Envy is not a good look on you. Neither is that crab cake on your face."

Rene (Rick Gonzalez) and Dinah (Juliana Harkavy) arrive for the city's celebration of Oliver's release

THE NEIGHBORHOOD

"Don't we have enough white people around here now? With the Johnsons and now this girl... It's starting to feel like Connecticut."

Calvin (Cedric the Entertainer) blanches at the idea of son Marty dating a white girl

THE GIFTED

"If you bring up the X-Men right now, so help me God, I'll punch you in the mouth."

Marcos (Sean Teale) has had enough of Johnny's fallback name-dropping

SPLITTING UP TOGETHER

"Good night, and may I wish you a very... Lacey Chabert."  

Lena (Jenna Fischer) makes an awkward exit

WILL & GRACE

"Hello, Lorraine, you're looking... That's all I got."

Karen (Megan Mullally), offering Stan's ex-mistress as warm a greeting as she can muster

WILL & GRACE (Bonus Quote!)

"You have a law degree."

"I have several. If I had any more degrees, I'd be a thermometer."

Jack (Sean Hayes) takes his impersonation of Will to the extreme when McCoy (Matt Bomer) has a question only an attorney could answer

MIDNIGHT, TEXAS

"I tinker. I toss breadcrumbs. Secrets become known. Humans are exposed for the gluttonous, sex-crazed monster-babies that they are and voila: Friends and lovers start killing each other."

"So basically, you're a reality show producer!"

Fiji (Parisa Fitz-Henley) boils the town's nefarious trickster (Adam Langdon) down to his essence

OUTLANDER

"Murtagh! Jamie said you weren't coming! Is it really you?"

"Well, it's not the boogie-woogie bugle boy."

Claire (Caitriona Balfe) is excited to see her old wandering minstrel partner Murtagh (Duncan Lacroix) after a long absence

THE GOOD PLACE

"Not one Good Place resident in over 500 years? Not Jonas Salk? Not Harriet Tubman? Not one single Golden Girl??"

Michael (Ted Danson) is bewildered by the Good Place's impossibly high standards

RIVERDALE

"The Gargoyle King wants Jughead and me to be together. We're gonna be a 'ship."

"Ohhhh... 'Ethelhead'?"

Betty (Lili Reinhart) doesn't love the 'shipper name that Ethel (Shannon Purser) is trying to make happen

CRAZY EX-GIRLFRIEND

"I'm here on winter break. I'm actually back for the whole rest of the series... of holidays. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, and the finale: Valentine's Day."

"Valentine's Day. I guess that is the logical end of our series... of holidays."  

Greg (Skylar Astin) lets Hector (Erick Lopez) — and viewers — know he'll be sticking around for a while

THE RANCH (Episode 7)

"You look better since you trimmed your beard, Rooster."

Bar patron Hank (Grady Lee Richmond) confuses Luke with his deceased cousin

THE RANCH (Episode 5)

"Every step of this wild, wonderful journey, I will be your rock."

"Thanks. And I know that's from last week's episode of This Is Us."

Colt (Ashton Kutcher) borrows from the hit NBC family drama to comfort pregnant wife Abby (Elisha Cuthbert)

HAWAII FIVE-0

"I'm glad I let you come."

"Did you say let me come? This is my plan. I brought you in! What are you talking about?"

"You brought me to my ranch? This is my own ranch, Steve."

"That's a fair point."

Joe (Terry O'Quinn) makes clear who rules this remote roost

THE BIG BANG THEORY

"Thanks, Dad. We're gonna give 'em hell."

Sheldon (Jim Parsons) thanks his late father George for inspiring him to keep striving for scientific excellence

BLINDSPOT

"You still haven't watched WarGames? Jeez, that movie literally changed my life. I mean, Matthew Broderick made me realize that I wanted to be a programmer. Also, his cute dimples made me realize a bunch of other stuff."

Rich Dotcom (Ennis Esmer) reveals the film that enlightened him about his own sexuality