Quotes Of The Week For July 21, 2019

FEAR THE WALKING DEAD

"Sarah, I just want to say, if I don't make it out of this, you make the worst beer I ever tasted in my life, but I still love you, anyway."

Wendell (Daryl "Chill" Mitchell), saying what he thought might be goodbye to his sister

LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS

"Producers have struck a deal with Coffee Bean to offer special items based on the characters from Friends. Unfortunately, they have nothing for you if you take your coffee black."

BIG LITTLE LIES

"I have spent every day of my goddamn life putting my family and my child first. So don't go there. Don't go there, judgy judger! Keep your eyes on your own f—king paper, Mary Louise."

Renata (Laura Dern) has had enough of Mary Louise's not-so-subtle digs about her parenting

AMBITIONS

"Being your sister-in-law all these years should get me an honorary degree in bitch-ology."

"As much as I'd like to, I can't take credit for that. You've been a bitch all your life."

If Stephanie (Robin Givens) and Rondell (Brely Evans) keep fighting like this, OWN is going to have to change the show's title to Am-bitch-ions

THE HILLS: NEW BEGINNINGS

"Since the event, our sales have gone past where they were. I can see in my crystal ball that we're going up, up, up into the multiverse, out of this dimension. A new realm. Oh my God, so much money!"

Just a friendly reminder that this is a real status report given by a real person (Spencer Pratt) about a real company

THE BACHELORETTE

"The Luke P. show is cancelled. We will not renew the season."

During the Men Tell All special, Hannah finally puts an end to all discussion of the nightmare that was Luke P.

THE HANDMAID'S TALE

"Are you alright?"

"At least it wasn't you."

Fred (Joseph Fiennes) doesn't get the answer he's looking for after June (Elisabeth Moss) is forced to have sex with her new commander

FULL FRONTAL WITH SAMANTHA BEE

"How dare you, sir, ask us, as Americans, to read a book. We are the country that made a hit out of According to Jim."

LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS (Bonus Quote!)

"According to a new CDC report, teen birth rates dropped last year — and no one is more disappointed in that than executives at MTV."

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK (Episode 2)

"Oh my God! Like, every guy in here is looking at you right now. You're like the Nelson Mandela of thirst-trapping."

"I don't know who that is, but thank you."

Maritza (Diane Guerrero) doesn't understand the compliment — but she'll take it!

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK (Episode 1)

"You're getting to be a real Mariah."

"You mean pariah?"

"No. I mean Mariah, like, nobody can work with you."

Flaca (Jackie Cruz) finds it difficult to continue working with current most-hated inmate Cindy (Adrienne C. Moore)

YELLOWSTONE

"There's sharks and minnows in this world, Jimmy. And if you don't know which one you are, then you ain't a f—kin' shark."

Rip (Cole Hauser), waxing philosophical

ANOTHER LIFE (Episode 1)

"Why do you think they sent a bunch of 20somethings on this mission? Because after 27, it is all cowardice all the time, until one day you wake up and you're ancient, like Niko, and you should not even get out of bed, let alone lead a mission across the galaxy."

"Upside is you die old, so...."

"Wow. You are the least-sexy sexy guy that I have ever met."

Michelle (Jessica Camacho) is turned off by Sasha's (Jake Abel) spin

ANOTHER LIFE (Episode 2)

"I mean, either it understands what we're doing, or it's a giant space parrot."

Erik (Justin Chatwin) wants the alien structure to speak up, and not just repeat back the music they play for it

THE BOYS (Episode 1)

"You don't really look like a Fed."

"No? What do I look like?"

"Like you're starring in a porn version of The Matrix."

Hughie (Jack Quaid) questions Butcher's (Karl Urban) credentials

GOOD TROUBLE

"I haven't slept with anyone since I've been in L.A., except you. [Pauses] Well, there was this..."

"What?"

"Threesome with a really nice couple.

"Uhh, OK. We'll circle back to that later."

Mariana (Cierra Ramirez) stuns Raj (Dhruv Uday Singh) with a sexy confession

SUITS

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm not Lana Lang, I'm Lois Lane."

"You're the best of both because Lana was a redhead. Is that mushy enough for you? 'Cause I gotta go save Metropolis."

Donna (Sarah Rafferty) and Harvey (Gabriel Macht) channel Superman and his lady loves

MARVEL'S AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D.

"With the Di'Allas destroyed, there isn't a way to complete the ritual. We must rebuild them."

"That sounds like a 'you' problem. And maybe you shouldn't tell us your bad guy plans. That always happens right before the bad guy dies."

Izel (Karolina Wydra) overshares with Yo-Yo (Natalia Cordova-Buckley)

YOUNGER

"Diana Trout, will you voice my book?"

"I think we just found our Seasoned Slut." 

"Stop." 

"Sorry." 

Boy, have Bronwyn (Becky Ann Baker) and Liza (Sutton Foster) got a job for Diana (Miriam Shor)!