Quotes Of The Week For June 7, 2020

We've rounded up the best TV quotes from June 7 through June 13, 2020. Scroll through our gallery of zingers, bon mots and one-liners below, then tell us if we missed any of your favorite lines from this week's television!

PENNY DREADFUL: CITY OF ANGELS

"All families have secrets. There's a reason windows have curtains."

Maria (Adriana Barraza), reassuring boss Peter that she doesn't think less of him for trading his wife for his mistress

LAST WEEK TONIGHT WITH JOHN OLIVER

"If the president is taking notes, that is what a 'perfect call' looks like."

Oliver plays back a citizen's expletive-filled takedown of the Los Angeles Police Commission during a Zoom call

THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT

"Defunding the police might sound a little scary to some people, like CBS. They'd have to change their entire primetime lineup. S.W.A.T. would have to become Community Health Services, and NCIS would stand for No Cops! Instead, Soup! It would still have a lot of murders in it, but it would also have a lot of bisques and chowders."

MATCH GAME

"You know, every now and then the casting department goes to the Unabomber's hometown."

Alec Baldwin welcomes Adam, a contestant with one boffo beard

SNOWPIERCER

"Goat farts."

Thank MIT, Melanie (Jennifer Connelly) has solved the train's methane shortage

VANDERPUMP RULES

"I'm too young and pretty to be tolerating any bulls—t from James."

Raquel Leviss may be soft-spoken, but whenever she opens her mouth, it's always gold

INSECURE

"You sure I can't get anything started for you?"

"I'm OK. I'm waiting for someone. A friend. Well, we used to be friends. We kinda still are. Maybe? Hopefully? She might hate me. You don't care. Y'all have smoked salmon?"

"Can I get you some alcohol, sis?"

"Yes!"

Somehow, the waitress picks up on the fact that Issa (Issa Rae) is nervous about her brunch date with Molly

MARVEL'S AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D.

"You're enjoying this way too much, 'Peggy.'"

Coulson (Clark Gregg) notes Simmons' joy in posing as a legend

MARVEL'S AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D. (Bonus Quote!)

"And the lady pretending to be Carter? Worst fake accent you've ever heard."

"You should tell her that."

Agent Sousa (Enver Gjokaj) pans Simmons' impersonation of his very special colleague

DC'S STARGIRL

"You want me to jump off a building?!"

"I don't want you to; Wikipedia said Wildcat could jump off buildings."

"Yeah, well, anyone can go on Wikipedia and say anything."

Yolanda (Yvette Monreal) would prefer slightly stronger sourcing for her superhero powers

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS (Bonus Quote!)

"I can't tell if they're covering for me, or if they don't really know my last name."

Guillermo (Harvey Guillen) looks on as Nandor, Nadja et al. fumble for his surname

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS

"I think they're going for some sort of Hamilton vibe...?"

Colin Robinson (Mark Proksch) tries to reconcile the vampire council's reenactments with real life

BLINDSPOT

"We've gotta get her to a hospital — or at least a very shady veterinarian."

Rich Dotcom (Ennis Esmer) believes desperate times call for desperate measures after Jane gets shot by the Dabbur Zann

QUIZ

"Here, these are the people at Scotland Yard to call. It's something called the Celebrity Crime Squad or something. I don't know."

"Really? Sounds like a s—t detective show."

"Yeah, sounds like something we'd make."

TV exec Claudia (Aisling Bea) is well aware of the low-brow content her network produces

HARLEY QUINN

"I didn't care when they were taking dumps all over the f–king city, but this is a $13,000 Vera Wang!"

Ivy (voiced by Lake Bell) blows her cool when one of the flying peridemons rips her wedding gown