Hell hath no fury like a misinformed Fatima wielding a baseball bat.
Tyler Perry’s Sistas made its explosive return on Wednesday, picking up right where the midseason finale left off — with Hayden and Gary wetting themselves as they stared down the wrong end of Fatima’s weapon. She was convinced that they conspired to get Zac arrested, and since Fatima’s more of a swing-first-ask-questions-never type, she took the full force of her rage out on the coffee table. And the television. Hell, she even smashed Hayden’s dad’s urn. (Side note: When he shrieked, “Those are my father’s ashes!” and she replied, “You wanna join him?” I laughed a lot harder than I should have. I mean, Hayden is the worst, but damn.)
Fatima was surprised — and perhaps a little embarrassed — to then receive a phone call from Zac, who explained that neither Hayden nor Gary had anything to do with his arrest. Clearly in the wrong but still not willing to apologize (not even for desecrating Hayden’s father moments earlier), Fatima decided to play the whole thing off as a misunderstanding and casually exit the scene like nothing happened. Then again, attacking Hayden and getting away with it is one of Fatima’s most cherished pastimes, so let’s not even pretend to act surprised.
The premiere then gave us the “Zatima” reunion fans have been waiting for, and the couple had a lot to discuss. First order of business: Does Zac really have a three-year-old child out there with yet another woman? He insisted that he doesn’t even know the person making these claims, but Fatima’s no fool — just because he doesn’t remember her, he still very well could have gotten her pregnant. Fatima then confessed to her own lapse in judgment, telling Zac what she and her trusty bat did to Hayden’s car… and home… and father’s ashes. Considering the gravity of what she did, I love that Zac basically laughed it all off, telling her that she “always does the most” while pulling shards of glass out of her hair. (Hayden’s father’s ghost is going to follow “Zatima” over to their BET+ spinoff and haunt the hell out of them.)
Unfortunately, Hayden suddenly decided that Fatima should start facing “consequences” for her “crimes,” so he confronted her at the office with some unwelcome news: Not only did he record her little outburst at his house, but he handed the footage over to the police, who arrested Fatima on the spot.
Elsewhere in the Sista-verse this week…
* With Calvin out of the way, Sabrina and Bayo’s date continued on the dance floor, where he even managed to sneak a kiss after she drunkenly fell into his arms. She made the responsible choice to end the night before things went too far, but as she confessed to Danni the next morning, she didn’t want the night to end. So can someone tell me why I’m naturally suspicious of Bayo? Maybe it’s because he seems too good to be true, or maybe it’s because Sabrina clearly isn’t finished with Calvin, but I think there’s more to Bayo than what we’ve been shown.
* Speaking of rich men I do not trust, let’s talk about Gary, whose friendship with Hayden came as a surprise to Andi. Then again, what is Gary if not full of surprises? Perhaps that’s why Andi wisely decided to hire an electrical technician to find out if Gary is spying on her. I’m not sure that hiring El Fuego to do the job was an equally wise move, but at least it’ll keep him in Danni’s orbit. (Side note, while we’re discussing Gary: I know it’s been a minute, but I’m still not over that stunt he pulled with the police-themed singing telegram. Who does that, let alone thinks it’s romantic? Don’t get me wrong, the penthouse is incredible, but this guy has done very little to win me over. And those singers were awful.)
* It’s hard not to be #TeamAaron, especially after seeing him pick Karen up for her doctor’s appointment and remind her that he’s with her “all the way.” She told him not to get his hopes up, but she didn’t tell us that, so I’m still crossing my fingers.
* Kudos to Maurice, who showed tremendous strength and growth by not succumbing to Que’s advances. Sure, it required another ice-cold shower, but I was proud of him for kicking Que out of his bed. Who does this fool think he is, expecting to be welcomed back into the arms of someone he literally robbed at gunpoint? Que is trash, and I love that Maurice went full Tanisha Thomas on him the next morning. I also appreciated Calvin referring to Que as a “stray cat.” The accuracy.
* And kudos to Pam for showing up early (!) to work. I’m not saying she got anything done, but at least she was there. That’s progress.
* I would watch an entire episode of this show that’s just Zac and Preston talking about their favorite sconces.
OK, let’s discuss: Did Fatima go too far this time, or did you love every second of her rampage? Do you trust Bayo and/or Gary? Is Zac really the father of Karen’s baby, or does Aaron have a chance? And isn’t it about time Maurice dates a nice, normal guy for once? Grade the premiere below, then drop a comment with more of your thoughts.