With the Daytona Winds still lingering in the atmosphere, Drag Race‘s nine remaining queens stepped out of the stink on Friday — and into the spotlight.
But first, RuPaul finally opened the library, giving the Season 14 queens a chance to read each other for filth. And let me tell you, these girls are literate. Angeria Paris VanMichaels honored Daya Betty with the title of “America’s next… Crystal Methyd,” Lady Camden described Jorgeous as having “the tiniest little waist… of time,” and DeJa Skye told Kerri Colby the one thing she could say that RuPaul hasn’t already: “Condragulations!”
In the end, it was Bosco who earned $2,500 of Sweet Tarts’ money with savage reads like this one to Jasmine Kennedie: “You are one braindead slut. You put the ‘bottom’ in lobotomy.” Short, simple and right to the point. Do yourself a favor and replay the entire reading challenge when you have a minute:
For this week’s maxi challenge, the queens were asked to divide themselves into three-member girl groups — the Shang-Ru-Las, the Ru-nettes and the Ru-premes. (Starting to sense a pattern here?) Anyway, everybody was pretty chill about which group they wanted to join, minus the absolute hissy fit Daya threw about refusing to budge from her first choice. (If I had to hear her say “I am not changing my mind!” one more time, I might have pulled a van Gogh.)
What followed was a whole lot of stress over a whole lot of nothing. Even queens like DeJa, who claimed she couldn’t carry a tune, managed to give decent performances. And the final result was fun, even if I’m still not sure why they had all three girl groups out on stage at the same time.
Things were far more interesting on the runway, where the queens served got their collective “Heart On.” Willow Pill wiggled down the catwalk in a dress made of various thongs and undergarments, Daya took a “cyber punk” route, Bosco served herself a bloody heart in a butt-baring vampire look, DeJa got in touch with her inner animé superhero, Jorgeous sold a look that fell somewhere between candy hearts and Victoria’s Secret, Jasmine attempted an Aphrodite-inspired gown, Angeria drew comparisons to Sia in a wiggy look we won’t soon forget, Kerri basically turned herself inside out for a bloody good time, and Lady Camden transformed into a self-shot Cupid.
In a twist of fate, Daya got her big Susan Lucci moment with Ru announcing her as the winner of this week’s challenge. And while I wasn’t feeling her behavior at the beginning of the episode, I can’t deny that she turned it out this week, both in the performance and on the runway. Kudos to her. The real question is: Will Daya stop being so annoying now that she finally has the win she’s been whining about incessantly all season? It worked for Anne Hathaway, so there’s hope.
Now for the bottoms: Lady Camden narrowly avoided having to lip sync for her life, but that same luck didn’t extend to Kerri and Jasmine, the latter of whom is still picking pieces of Maddy Morphosis out of her teeth. The ladies faced off to a dance remix of Toni Braxton’s “Unbreak My Heart,” and while Kerri certainly brought the drama, it was impossible to pull my focus away from the shoes-off-nips-out tornado that was Jasmine.
So it was no surprise when Ru told Jasmine to stay, while Kerri Colby — with nothing but chocolate in her bar — was forced to sashay away.
Your thoughts on the outcome of this week’s girl group challenge? Drop ’em in a comment below.