The foreshadowing in Episode 7 of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars was about as subtle as Mayhem Miller’s signature smize.
From the moment Jan casually mentioned that only two of the remaining queens had yet to win a challenge, all eyes were on Pandora Boxx and Eureka. And when poor Pandy was picked last in this week’s team challenge, you could already see her name appearing in lipstick on the mirror.
With Kylie Sonique Love and Ra’Jah O’Hara serving as captains, RuPaul tasked the teams with writing and performing inspirational verses for a new drag anthem called “Show Up, Queen.” And I’ll give you one guess which queen didn’t “show up.” (Hint: Her name rhymes with Mandora Knox.) Even Ginger Minj, whose opinion literally zero people asked for, threw shade at Pandora from the sidelines during her group’s rehearsal, suggesting that Ra’Jah “target the problem areas” in her team. Again, very subtle.
I actually thought it was pretty cute the way Pandora’s team members encouraged her to find a groove that she was comfortable with and build from there, even if it did nothing to part the dark clouds of foreboding doom that loomed large overhead. And now, for a taste of the song you’ll spend the next week trying to get out of your head:
— RuPaul's Drag Race (@RuPaulsDragRace) July 30, 2021
Lo and behold, Pandora ended up in the bottom with Jan this week, and I can’t say that I disagree with that placement. Her verse felt unfinished, her performance lacked energy and her Nurse-Ratched-on-vacation runway look was just… fine. As for Jan, she once again brought the noise but not the funk. Hell, I don’t think she knows what “funk” even means at this point, at least not the way the judges are defining it. As for her runway look, it probably would have stood out more if Ginger wasn’t wearing the exact same thing.
When it comes to this week’s top All Star, I dare you to convince me that Trinity K. Bonet didn’t deserve the win. From her spot-on verse, complete with a message about the importance of knowing your HIV status, to her incredible Carnivale-ready runway look, she was the queen to beat this week.
I wigged out when Alexis Mateo was revealed to be this week’s lip sync assassin, though not quite as badly as Trinity, whose wig literally fell off her damn head during their battle to J.Lo’s “Dance Again.” The queens were fairly even until that gasp-inducing snafu, so I fully expected Alexis to narrowly clinch the win.
That’s when things got, as Manny Santos would say, absolutely cuckoo bananas. After pulling Pandora’s lipstick out of her cleavage (no surprise there), Alexis announced that she had another lipstick to reveal. That’s right, folks — Pandora and Jan tied.
“For the first time in Drag Race herstory, we have a group vote tie,” RuPaul announced, explaining that “in the event of such a tie, the power of elimination returns to the top All Star of the week.” Cut to poor Trinity, who said the only thing she could after losing $10,000 and still having to eliminate someone: “This is some bulls–t here.”
But rules are rules, so Trinity was forced to give someone the chop. “The queen that I chose is one of the most talented individuals that I have had the honor to work with,” she said before pulling out Jan‘s lipstick.
Do you think the right All Star went home this week? And which four of the remaining six do you expect to see in the fast-approaching finale? Vote in our poll below, then drop a comment with your thoughts on the episode.