America’s Got Talent welcomed Sofia Vergara to the judges’ panel on Tuesday with a parade of vomiting sock puppets, giant pigs pushing smaller pigs in baby carriages, and a family determined to prove that “roller skating still exists.” Towards the end of the two-hour season premiere, the once optimistic actress confessed, “I don’t have much hope.” So, thanks a lot, America — you broke Sofia Vergara.
(Side note: I would actually like to call shenanigans on the vomiting sock puppet act. Not only was that a wildly inventive performance, but it was also hysterical. Arguably the greatest sock-related act since Lamb Chop. I would have send it straight to the finals.)
Anyway, Vergara and the other judges’ spirits were ultimately lifted at the end of the night by a performance from Voices of Our City Choir, a San Diego-based vocal group made up of homeless (and formerly homeless) singers. In fact, host Terry Crews was so moved by the choir’s original song that he interrupted the judges’ critiques and pounded the Golden Buzzer. Sure, the moment felt a little scripted, but I’m not about to protest a nice thing happening to good people. So I’ll remain seated.
Other successful auditions included Pork Chop Revue, a well-trained group of “pigs and hogs” (there’s a difference!) from Florida; B.A.D. Salsa, a pair of “surprising, energetic, dangerous” dancers who left difficult lives in India to pursue their dreams; Broken Roots, a folksy twosome that uses music as a therapeutic outlet for the dark things they see as Chicago law enforcement officials; Malik DOPE Drummer, a one-of-a-kind percussionist with magical dancing feet and an infectious personalty; Ryan Tricks, a sewage worker by day, magician by night; Archie Williams, a soulful singer who was wrongfully imprisoned for 37 years; Vincent Marcus, an impressive impressionist; and Muy Moi Show, an absolute lunatic of a human being who nearly cut his mouth open after asking Crews to drop a cinderblock on his head while hovering above a sharp blade. (This is the part where I really want to ask whether “not dying” should be considered a talent, but again, I’ll remain seated.)
Then there was my personal favorite act of the night: Double Dragon. Peruvian twins Andrea and Irene stunned the judges (and earned a new stan in me) with a high-energy, pitch-perfect performance of “It’s Raining Men.” Not since Lady Gaga and Ariana Grande gave us “Rain On Me” — a whole four days ago! — have I so thoroughly enjoyed a weather-related pop duet. Here’s my only question: Why did the camera keep cutting back to those older twins in the audience? I’m not saying that those two women were definitely future versions of Andrea and Irene coming back to watch themselves audition, but I also dare you to prove that they weren’t.
Do you think Vergara fits in well with the other AGT judges? And are you glad to see Heidi Klum back on the panel? Vote for your favorite (successful) act from the premiere below, then drop a comment with more of your thoughts.