We really have to commend Too Hot to Handle — the first season of Netflix’s latest reality sexperiment managed to deliver a finale just as polarizing as its cast of lovable horn dogs.
After seven episodes of trying (and failing) to keep their hands off one another, the contestants’ days at “The Retreat” are coming to an end, inspiring several grand romantic gestures — including Sharron asking Rhonda to be his girlfriend and meeting her son over FaceTime. (That little boy side-eyeing Sharron was among my favorite moments of the season.)
Harry also makes a romantic gesture (of sorts) by not apologizing for breaking so many rules with Francesca: “Sorry that we’re hot as f–k and we want to tear each other apart like roast chickens!” I actually feel like that’s his version of standing up for her — and that’s growth, my friends.
“Time is running out, and the producers are running out of ideas,” the narrator notes, segueing into “one more realty TV cliche”: a sexy white party… with a twist! As Lana explains, Francesca and Harry are responsible for $32,000 being deducted from the original $100,000, meaning they’ve cost the group more than any other players. She gives them a chance to add that money back to the pot — which now stands at a measly $43,000 — and all they have to do is spend one night in the private suite… with no physical contact whatsoever.
Naturally, Harry and Francesca’s fellow competitors have little faith in their ability to remain chaste. “I wouldn’t trust Francesca as far as I could throw her, to be honest… but I’d still bang her,” Kori says. And we all know how Chloe feels about Francesca (“Her morals are none!”), so the expectations for the evening are understandably low. It also doesn’t help that Francesca asks Harry, “How much do you think anal is?” Good grief, lady.
Much to the group’s surprise, Harry and Francesca stay out of the bone zone(!!!), bringing the final total back up to $75,000. Unfortunately, not everyone is eligible to win it. “In 24 hours, I will be announcing a winner, but I have observed that not all of you have invested in the process equally,” Lana tells the group before sending Madison and Kori packing.
The 10 remaining players reconvene the next night for Lana’s big announcement — and they are on edge. At one point, a frantic Chloe asks Lana, “Are you trying to make me s–t myself in front of everybody?” To be fair, that’s a question that we, the viewers, could have asked Chloe all season.
Lana begins by asking Francesca to stand, followed by Harry… and Sharron… and Rhonda! “You four have shown great strength and growth by forming emotional connections,” she tells them. But she isn’t finished. She then asks David to stand… then Chloe… and Kelz… and Nicole… and Lydia!… and Bryce?!
“Each of you has embraced the process and helped one another to form deeper connections,” she told the 10 finalists, who each take home $7,500. (Before tax.) That’s right, folks — everyone is a winner.
I know that Kelz fancies himself the accountant of the group, but I figured I’d crunch a few numbers myself. Here’s a breakdown of each broken rule…
* Francesca and Harry kiss in Episode 2 — $3,000
* Francesca and Haley kiss in Episode 2 — $3,000
* Sharron and Rhonda have almost-sex in Episode 5 — $16,000
* Bryce and Chloe kiss in Episode 5 — $3,000
* Francesca and Harry have sex in Episode 6 — $20,000
* Chloe and Kori kiss in Episode 6 — $3,000
* Lydia and David kiss in Episode 7 — $3,000
* Francesca and Harry go down under in Episode 7 — $6,000
Was it right for the entire group to split the prize money, or should it have been dished out differently? And which couples (Francesca and Harry and/or Sharron and Rhonda) do you think are still together? Vote in our polls below, then drop a comment with all of your thoughts on Too Hot to Handle.