Monday’s two-hour season finale of The Hills: New Beginnings found one married couple looking back on a decade of wedded bliss, while another “married” couple foresaw an unhappy ending on the horizon.
Let’s start with the stable couple. Heidi and Spencer — yes, they have the better relationship in this scenario — renewed their wedding vows in an elaborate ceremony, complete with costume changes and a lip-synced performance of Heidi’s new single “Glitter and Glory.” It was… a lot.
But while Speidi toasted to a brighter future, Brody and Kaitlynn faced the present-day realities of their own relationship. And their “friends” didn’t make it easier. Ashley, who’s been doing a whole lot of talking lately, eventually forced it out of Kaitlynn that Brody does fool around with other women, but only if she’s also involved. Kaitlynn insisted that she’s “in control” of the relationship, and that she only kept this information to herself because “not everybody is accepting and openminded.” (Hey, here’s a fun thought: If you and your not-actual-husband want to keep the details of your not-actual-marriage under wraps, maybe don’t do a reality show?)
The finale ended with these soon-to-be-eaten words from Brody: “I’m extremely happy with my relationship with my wife. She gives me tons of freedom to do whatever I want. I have nothing to complain about. Life is great.” (Spoiler alert: Kaitlynn separated from Brody shortly after this was filmed, and she’s now in a relationship with Miley Cyrus? Finally, a reason for that Season 2 renewal!)
Also worth discussing…
* Brandon decided that breaking up with Ashley would be the best thing for both of them, which wasn’t inherently funny… until Ashley angrily told him, “You’re literally the best actor. You should, like, get a Grammy.” (A Grammy? For acting?! That statement alone is grounds for a breakup.)
* Whitney bravely opened up about her miscarriage (“It’s like a death is happening inside your body”), and while she grieved the loss, she also admitted to feeling somewhat relieved, as she wasn’t sure if she wanted a second child.
* And Justin Bobby finally apologized for walking out on Audrina at dinner, explaining, “I don’t know how to act in a lot of situations.” (Wait, does that excuse actually work? I need to start trying that on people.) Some tears were shed — all Audrina’s, naturally — and Justin said he thinks she and Ryan are “cute.” (Was that sweet or condescending? Oh, who even cares.)
* My favorite part of Ashley and Kaitlynn’s sit-down was this line: “At the end of the day, you don’t have to give your opinion.” Twitter should consider making that its new slogan.
* Midway through this episode, I remembered that Stephanie said she’s not returning for Season 2. Will we miss her? I think we’re OK.
Your thoughts on The Hills‘ finale? Season 1 in general? Will you be checking back in next year? Grade the episode below, then drop a comment with your full review.