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BH90210 Recap: Desperately Seeking Shannen

BH90210 Recap

In a last-ditch effort to get her reboot off the ground, Tori Spelling turned to a pair of Walshes — one far more helpful than the other — on Wednesday’s BH90210.

Plan A was to have Carol Potter (aka Mama Walsh), now a licensed therapist, help the cast work through its issues — everything from the show’s writer getting Jason Priestley’s wife pregnant to Jason having a one-night stand with Jennie Garth in Vegas.

Ironically, the least time was devoted to discussing the mangled dolls everyone received in the mail last week; the group seemed surprisingly OK sweeping that under the rug, like it’s something that happens all the time. Long story short, the session was a total bust.

With Christine Elise riding her harder than ever (“Have you reached out to Joe E. Tata yet? Maybe he’d like to be the CEO of Fox!”), Tori was left with only one option: haul ass to Peru, climb a damn mountain and beg Shannen Doherty for mercy. Fortunately for Tori, Saint Shannen took an oath to help all wounded animals in need, so she agreed to do the reboot without so much as a second thought.

Also worth discussing…

* Gabrielle Carteris’ husband was less supportive of her sexual exploration than she’d hoped (“You’re into women? I’m not a woman!”), but a subsequent chat with Christine Elise helped to lift her spirits and boost her confidence — especially since it ended with the two ladies matching up on a dating app! Honestly, this storyline is the L Word reboot we deserve.

* The Zach mystery deepened this week, as Brian Austin Green agreed to hire him as an assistant. Shay wasn’t initially sold on her husband’s young look-alike, but she changed her tune when he “rescued” one of their kids who wandered outside. When Zach saw how upset Shay was that she put her own child at risk, he swooped in and took the blame, which apparently eared him BAG’s respect — as well as key to the house.

* In a very Kelly Taylor move, Jennie spent the hour getting — ahem — familiar with her hot new bodyguard. She even agreed to call him by his first name, which is apparently a very big step for her. (Earth-2 Jennie Garth has serious trust issues, in case you haven’t picked up on that yet.)

* After hitting on (and striking out with) the reboot’s new head writer, Ian Ziering fell into a #MeToo spiral, only he somehow managed to make himself the victim. “When did it become inappropriate to compliment a woman?” he asked before launching into a drunken tirade about how he and his co-stars have gone from Tiger Beat poster boys to AARP dinosaurs seemingly overnight.

Your thoughts on this week’s BH90210Drop ’em in a comment below.