Thursday’s episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race was supposed to be a religious experience, but all the Hail Mariahs in the world couldn’t save some of the queens’ blasphemous performances.
The diva worship began with this week’s mini challenge, in which the remaining 13 contestants had to do and say whatever it took to sweet-talk their way backstage at a Seduction concert (circa 1990, of course). Save for the queens devoid of personality (you know who you are!), this was a fun little game, and I will remain forever changed by the image of Silky squeezing her nutmegs together.
As the mini-challenge winners, Nina West and Ra’Jah O’Hara became the team leaders — or more specifically, the “deacons” — of this week’s maxi challenge: the queens would be starring in “two she-vangelical talk shows where you will preach and teach the children about the divine diva of your choice. This includes heavenly hostesses, live on-air conversions and hymns of praise.”
Team Ra’Jah was doomed from the moment they chose to worship Mariah Carey, someone they knew almost nothing about. Like, not even that she refers to her fans as “Lambs.” But rather than changing course — towards victory, perhaps? — the queens remained anchored to Mariah, ultimately delivering one of the least coordinated, most dreadfully unfunny segments in Drag Race herstory. (I can’t stress enough how infuriated I became hearing them refer to Glitter as Sparkle. Repeatedly!)
Team Nina, meanwhile, kept me and the judges thoroughly entertained with a segment dedicated to the Holy Spearit, though much of the credit should go to Vanessa Vanjie Mateo for… just being Vanjie. (I really want to commend her on proving that she’s more than just a meme. She’s quickly becoming one of my favorites.) In fact, the only real weak link in the chain was Mercedes Iman Diamond, who struggled to land her jokes.
Ru’s criticisms of Team Ra’Jah were exactly as expected (“Stink, stank, stunk!”), but even I wasn’t expecting the hammer of judgment to fall as hard as it did: For the first time ever, all six of the queens from the losing team had to lip sync for their lives. On the same stage. At the same time. (“Y’all need to step your pussy up.”)
Naturally, it was chaos. From the moment Jennifer Lopez’s “Waiting for Tonight” began, the queens moved around the stage in clumps like a lava lamp, each one desperate for enough to do… anything. Still, they all made do with what they were given, serving plenty of hair twirling and even a death drop to the floor below. Still, one queen had to go… and that queen was Honey Davenport.
Which of the six eligible queens would you have sent home? Drop a comment with your pick, as well as your thoughts on this week’s episode, below.