Old feuds were reignited Friday when the exiled queens returned to RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars for a second shot at the crown. The girls arrived with mixed feelings about their eliminations, but at least we could all agree on one thing: No one was happy to see Gia Gunn.
The dramatic Ru-union began with a too-honest conversation about unfinished business: Latrice Royale told Monique Heart that the explanation behind her elimination was “disingenuous,” despite Monique’s insistence to the contrary; Trinity the Tuck accused Gia of solely existing to stir the pot (true!), while Gia suggested that Trinity’s confidence is “shaky” (false!); and Farrah Moan confronted Valentina about her own elimination, at which point Valentina inadvertently validated Farrah’s insecurities about her lack of talent.
As Trinity put it, I was “clutching my pearls, bitch.” And things only got more dramatic when RuPaul explained the specifics of this week’s challenge: Each eliminated queen would choose one remaining contestant to face in a lip sync battle, potentially bumping them from the competition. Fortunately for Manila Luzon and Monet X Change, they were granted immunity as a reward for winning last week’s challenge.
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And speaking of last week’s winners, both Monet and Manila (aka “bitch No. 1” and “bitch No. 2”) revealed that they had planned on eliminating Valentina, who still refused to admit that her roast wasn’t funny. She explained, “When it comes to me and living in my world and this little coconut head that I’ve got, it’s a lot of fantasies. And when I feel the fantasy, it is my reality, and no one can change that.” (I’m sorry, what?!)
OK, on with the lip syncs…
JASMINE MASTERS vs. TRINITY THE TUCK | I was bracing (and excited!) for a potential Trinity-Gia lip sync, so this pairing took me by surprise, though it made sense when Jasmine explained that she picked last, which is why she ended up with Trinity, “who no one else wanted.” (The shade!) Both ladies gave “Peanut Butter” their all, but once Trinity busted out her infamous butt shake, Jasmine’s tiny little booty simply couldn’t compare. Winner: Trinity!
FARRAH MOAN vs. VALENTINA | Now we’re talking! Earlier this season, Farrah told the audience that we wouldn’t be getting our “fun little telenovela Valentina vs. Farrah ‘You don’t love me!’ fantasy,” but that’s exactly what we got this week when the two faced off to the tune of Ru’s iconic smash “Kitty Girl.” (Was anyone else suddenly flooded with nostalgia for All Stars 3?) Anyway, these girls both surprised the heck out of me; Valentina was bringing it as a full-on four-legged kitty (complete with cat suit!) and Farrah was giving me solid Britney Spears hairography. But here’s my question: After seeing what Trinity’s buns were capable of, why would Farrah even bother shaking that tiny thing? Winner: Valentina!
GIA GUNN vs. NAOMI SMALLS | I never thought I’d say this, but Naomi and Gia’s battle was among the best, most exciting matches I’ve seen in Drag Race herstory. From Gia’s sparkly gold reveal to Naomi’s saucy floor work, these girls left every bit of themselves on that runway. But when Naomi bent backwards and proved herself to be more flexible than a damn Japanese water ghost, I knew the win was hers. And here’s another thing I never thought I’d say: I was… sort of… almost… a little bit sad to see Gia go. Winner: Naomi!
LATRICE ROYALE vs. MONIQUE HEART | This was the big one, America. After Jasmine, Farrah and Gia failed to win their respective lip syncs, could Latrice be the one eliminated queen to fight her way back into the game this week? She certainly gave it her all, matching Monique in splits and wig-under-wig reveals. (Yes, Monique’s split and wig were more impressive, but I’m still proud of Latrice for keeping up.) Winner: LATRICE!!! (Monique also stayed.)
Your thoughts on this week’s results? Which remaining queen(s) are you rooting for? Whatever’s on your mind, drop it in a comment below.