After a tortuous wait to find out whether Brooklyn Nine-Nine‘s Captain Holt has been named the NYPD’s new commissioner, we finally get our answer (thanks, NBC!) in Thursday’s Season 6 premiere.
The slight tension in Holt’s labial commissure turns out to be for nothing. After Jake scurries off to find his celebratory Jock Jams mix, Holt reveals to the rest of the squad that he misread his email and has not been chosen for the department’s top position. So what’s a human male to do when he gets passed over for his dream job? Ditch work, fly to Mexico and buy a wardrobe that consists entirely of novelty shirts, of course. (Vote for your favorite one below!)
Little does Holt know when he uses discount code “Gina30” that he’s checking into the same resort as Jake and Amy, who used their wedding insurance to upgrade to a super-deluxe, five-star, mega-baller honeymoon. The newlyweds are determined not to let Holt wreck their romantic getaway, but that’s easier said than done. They eventually decide to include him in all of their various couples’ activities in hopes that it’ll cheer him up and inspire his return home. Instead, an afternoon of pampering convinces Holt that there’s more to life than the NYPD. In fact, he decides he should quit altogether. Jake refuses to let that happen, and drags Holt back to his honeymoon suite where, unbeknownst to him, Amy is dressed as Die Hard‘s Holly Gennero — you know, for “sexy reasons.” (A follow-up scene reveals Jake dressed as Melvil Dewey, inventor of the Dewey Decimal system, and it’s perfect.)
Together, Jake and Amy tie Holt to their bed using supplies found in a lovers’ toolbox (thanks, Charles?), then attempt to talk some sense into their longtime captain. Jake tells Holt that he still needs him, and Holt tells Jake he’s selfish, at which point “No Hoots” Amy lashes out at her mentor for ruining her honeymoon. Later, Holt apologizes for his behavior and pays to extend Jake and Amy’s stay. He also informs them that he’s decided to stay on as their captain and adopt a “no hoots” attitude of his own.
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He goes directly to the mayor and tells him that Commissioner Kelly’s vigilante policing initiative is a step in the wrong direction; he also threatens to voice his concerns to the press if the initiative is not reconsidered. The mayor ultimately caves, and Kelly retaliates by closing the bottom floor of the Nine-Nine indefinitely. When Jake and Amy return from their honeymoon, everyone from downstairs has been moved up to their bullpen. “Prepare yourselves,” Holt warns. “The Nine-Nine is at war with the NYPD.” ¡Ay caramba!
Elsewhere in the episode…
* Gina and Charles’ parents are splitting up, and not knowing why is, um, eating Charles out. Gina is reluctant to tell Charles the truth, but ultimately comes clean after her stepbrother tries to hack into her phone using a wig and facial mask. (File under: things we can’t unsee). Turns out that Gina’s mom cheated on Charles’ dad, and when Gina found out, she told her mom to end the marriage. (Guess the human form of the 100 emoji has a heart of gold, after all.)
* “Top Dog” Terry is put in charge, but is unable to make a decision. He gets a swift kick in the butt when he reads the instruction manual that Holt had drafted for his successor, which in part reads, “If you are unsure of what to do in any situation, consult Sgt. Jeffords.” This instills confidence in Terry, who is then able to consult Rosa about a potential conflict in an ongoing drug case.
What did you think of the Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 6 premiere? Grade the first NBC episode via the following poll (and vote for your favorite novelty shirt!), then hit the comments with your reactions.