Saturday Night Live cast member Pete Davidson perhaps surprised some viewers when he appeared on this weekend’s Christmas show, just hours after he published an Instagram post that indicated he was having suicidal thoughts.
Davidson, who has previously been candid about his struggle with mental illness, wrote on Instagram, “I really don’t want to be on this earth anymore,” immediately drawing concern from celebrities and fans.
“I’m doing my best to stay here for you, but I actually don’t know how much longer I can last,” the post read. “All I’ve ever tried to do was help people. Just remember I told you so.”
Not long after the post went up, Davidson deleted his Instagram account. In response, police officers met with Davidson to perform a wellness check, according to CNN.
In light of events, Davidson was expected to sit out SNL‘s final episode of 2018 (save for his appearance in an “Oscar Host Auditions” bit that was pre-taped earlier in the week). But at 12:50 am, he put in his first and only live appearance of the night to introduce musical guests Mark Ronson, Miley Cyrus and Sean Ono Lennon, a task which is almost always reserved for that night’s host — presumably SNL‘s way of letting everyone know he was accounted for.
Since joining SNL in 2014, Davidson has spoken openly about his mental health, particularly his battle with borderline personality disorder and the stigma surrounding mental illness. The comedian has mentioned his health multiple times on Weekend Update, most recently during an Oct. 6 segment in which he cited his own struggles while criticizing rapper Kanye West.