David Schwimmer Parodies Lookalike Alleged Thief — Could It Be 'Russ'?

No, this isn’t The One Where Ross Becomes a Wanted Man.

Friends vet David Schwimmer has reacted to a news story out of England featuring his very own lookalike. ICYMI: Local authorities are in pursuit of a man in connection with a restaurant theft. The suspect was later captured by a convenience store’s security camera, purchasing a case of beer. The unknown assailant (who we repeat is not David Schwimmer) took notice of the security camera and made eye contact. A screen grab went viral almost immediately after the police posted it to Facebook In hopes of finding the man, with thousands of comments identifying him as… Ross Geller.

Among the many laugh-out-loud Facebook comments:

“The police should give a warning: If you see him, DO NOT APPROACH — he knows Unagi!”

“Clearly he stole … when the security guard was ON A BREAK!”

“I heard he stole because his job is a joke, plus he’s broke and don’t get me started on his love life which is D.O.A.”

“There are rumours he had some accomplices. Miss Chenandler Bong, Regina Phalange and Ken Adams were all seen in the area.”

“Thank you to everyone for your speedy responses,” the Blackpool Police said on Tuesday. “We have investigated this matter thoroughly and have confirmed that David Schwimmer was in America on this date. We’re so sorry it has to be this way.”

Come Wednesday, Schwimmer — who currently recurs on Will & Grace — responded to the story on social media by parodying the security footage. “Officers, I swear it wasn’t me,” he wrote on Instagram. “As you can see, I was in New York. To the hardworking Blackpool police, good luck with the investigation.”

While Ross’ name has been cleared, it’s worth noting that his doppelgänger, Russ, has not been seen since a Season 2 episode of Friends. He could have moved across the pond and decided to smear Ross’ good name with the help of none other than Emily — but that’s just a working theory.