Warning: The following contains spoilers for the Season 2 finale of GLOW. So you might want to finish your binge before starting this recap.
Like the show whose formation it chronicles would’ve, Netflix’s GLOW tossed into its gonzo Season 2 finale everything but the kitchen sink. And honestly, it probably would’ve tossed the sink in, too, had it not been bolted down. We got a first kiss, a wedding, a unicorn… Yes, of course, a unicorn! In the end, we also got an answer to the question of whether the series-within-the-series would get a second season of its own. And… did it? Read on.
‘I’LL MISS YOU’ | As the episode began, Rhonda was revealing during a radio interview with Debbie, Ruth and Carmen her plan to marry a fan during GLOW’s Season 1 finale. When Russell arrived late, the other wrestlers watching the Q&A take place wasted no time teasing him about Ruth’s hickey. “It looks like a leach made a home on her neck,” cracked Sheila. Before the show wrapped, the DJ took a call from a fan… who turned out to be Carmen’s brother Kurt, who was upset that she’d hijacked his moves. Meanwhile, Rosalie agreed to keep in touch with Sam about Justine, who looked extra forlorn to be heading back to Sacramento. “Will you visit?” she asked her dad. “Probably not,” he answered honestly. But they’d work on her mom so that the teen could come back and visit L.A. “Finish your screenplay,” he told her as they shared an embrace. “Finish yours,” she replied. (Bye for now, Scab!) When he arrived at the gym, Ruth presented herself to him and Debbie as a novelty act — Zoya with a cast! “It’s all so slow and weird,” muttered Debbie as Ruth “fought” Carmen and Cherry. Debbie said that maybe they could let Ruth go on if the front row wasn’t going to be full of potential buyers for show. But since the front row was going to be full of potential buyers… Ruth would co-direct with Sam, he blurted out. Well, all right, then!
Across town, Bash was having Florian’s room cleaned out — and the entire place scrubbed down. “Just bleach the whole f—ing thing,” he told the lead cleaner. But there was no bleaching away the hurt in Bash’s heart. That evening, he sat poolside crying over a cigarette. Back at the gym, Sam and Ruth made plans for Brittanica’s wedding. When talk turned to the soon-to-be-betrothed couple’s first kiss, Sam addressed the elephant in the room: his and Ruth’s own near-kiss. “Russell and I slept together,” she said quickly, “so that’s happening.” (Ouch.) Quickly moving on, Sam wasn’t even a jerk when Russell arrived to pick up Ruth for their date. Instead, the director went to Ray’s strip club, where the proprietor suggested that if any of his girls needed work, he’d be opening a new location soon. Nah, his girls aren’t strippers, Sam said. Well, except for Yo-Yo, who was at that moment on stage gyrating in front of a rapt Arthie, who insisted to her boss that she didn’t know if the two of them had fallen in love during their fantasy waltz. But when Yo-Yo had invited her to the club, she hadn’t said no. Speaking of new beginnings, Mark surprised Debbie by bringing Randy to the set so that he could see her in the ring in case the buyers didn’t come through. They’d signed the divorce papers, he acknowledged; this was just his way of trying to turn the page.
‘I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M GONNA HAVE TO START DATING AGAIN’ | While informing Cherry that he’d begun putting feelers out for more work for them, Keith suggested that going forward she do more stunt-coordinating and fewer actual stunts so that they could get back to trying to start a family. Off her hesitant response, he reminded her that if GLOW ended, they had a window. And, in spite of their bad luck, he didn’t want to give up. Did she? It actually looked like she did, but after gazing at Debbie playing with Randy, she managed a slight smile for her husband. In the locker room, Debbie wouldn’t let Ruth get away with saying she was late because of her crutches when everybody knew she was late because she was sleeping with Russell. At least she wasn’t a total bitch about it. #progress When Rhonda came in wearing Brittanica’s wedding dress, Ruth recognized it as having been Debbie’s. While nerves drove Rhonda upchucking to the toilet, her stalker/groom Toby (aka Cupcake) was in the control room explaining to Sam and Bash that he was so keen to tie the knot because it was lonely living by himself. (Cue an idea forming in Bash’s head in 3, 2… ) Backstage, Kurt and Chico read Carmen the riot act for using their moves on her “clown show.” And, after the guys dissed Sheila’s goat skit, it looked like the scene might get ugly… till Debbie stepped in as a producer and gave the fellas a cameo that she assured Sam he’d hardly notice.
As showtime neared, Sam lamented to Ruth that only four potential buyers had shown up for taping. Of course, all it would take was one. To start off the episode, Bash brought out the wrestlers as bridesmaids — among them, as you’d expect, Machu Picchu. Less expected: the T-shirt she had to wear that declared she’d wet the bed till she was 10. As Sheila marched down the aisle, she saw a pack of her fans and, finally embracing her fame, let out a howl that delighted them. At last, out came Rhonda… on a unicorn. When the preacher asked if anyone knew of any reason why Brittanica and Toby couldn’t be married, Bash stopped the wedding, declared his love for the bride and asked her to become his wife instead. (Poor Carmen.) Rhonda tried to let Toby down easy, but he was ticked. “Love is fake, just like wrestling!” he declared before being tossed out of the ring. After that, all it took was the new duo’s “I dos,” and the deed was done. “Rhonda,” Ruth noted to Sam, “just married a millionaire without a prenup.” When Bash announced that whoever won the bouquet would win the crown, bedlam broke out in the ring. During the free-for-all, Arthie broke character just long enough to kiss Yo-Yo. Eventually, it came down to Liberty Belle, Sheila the She-Wolf and Machu Picchu. Or so it appeared until…
‘YOU CALL THIS A BATTLE ROYALE? IT LOOKS MORE LIKE A PILLOW FIGHT’ | … Kurt and Chico took the mic from Bash and dissed the ladies. As they and Debbie had planned, she then suggested that she, Sheila and Machu Picchu call a temporary truce to kick the guys’ butts. In the ensuing battle of the sexes, Kurt admitted to his sister that he was proud of her — then got thrown out of the ring. “I’ve been baking pies at home,” Liberty Belle screamed before finishing off Chico in spectacular fashion. “Pies of rage!” Once the boys were dispensed with, Liberty Belle, Machu Picchu and Sheila went back to brawling over the bouquet. To Ruth’s surprise, Sam informed her that Carmen wasn’t going to win it, as planned. And it was a good thing that for some reason Ruth had co-directed the show in full Zoya costume and makeup, because Sam intended for her to catapult into the ring and steal the bouquet! Post-show, Rhonda gently told Bash that she didn’t feel the same way about him as he’d claimed to about her. Rather than call the whole thing off, he got her to agree to take their new marriage one day at a time and see how it went. And she certainly liked the idea of a real ring.
As the episode, and Season 2, neared its conclusion, Sam, Bash and Debbie’s meeting with prospective buyers adjourned in the grimmest of all possible ways. Sam forced Glen to break it to everyone that K-DTV owned their characters, so they couldn’t be sold to another network. G-L-O-W was D-E-A-D. Or was it? Strip-club proprietor Ray loved the live show and asked if they might be interested in doing it in Vegas. “Are you asking us to be showgirls?” said Ruth. No, he replied. He was asking them to do the same show night after night, and make some serious coin at the same time. So it was off to Sin City for the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling! When Debbie had trouble leaving Randy to get on the bus outta town, Mark stepped up and suggested that maybe this was one of the benefits of divorce — that he could take care of the baby while she was gone. Ruth wished Russell could come with them, but a live show hardly needed a cameraman. So he sent her off with a few very romantic kisses. “I’ve never been to Vegas,” she admitted to Sam as the trip got underway. “Oh,” he replied mischievously, “you’re gonna hate it.” With that, GLOW’s spectacular Season 2 came to an end.