“In some ways, it feels like all hope is lost,” Noah said during Wednesday’s Daily Show. What began as an uplifting segment about rookie politician Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez beating out 10-term Democratic congressman Joe Crowley transitioned into a discussion that marveled at the fact that President Donald Trump is getting a second Supreme Court pick.
“Kennedy was, without question, the most powerful justice on the court,” Noah continued. “He voted in favor of gay rights, the women’s right to chose and affirmative action — and he was the deciding vote. Now, Trump will likely replace him with a justice who will discriminate, dismantle abortion rights and LGBTQ rights. And that sound you’re hearing right now? That’s the sound of Mike Pence having his first orgasm.”
Colbert, meanwhile, referred to Kennedy’s retirement as a “seismic political event,” saying we’re “supremely screwed.” The Late Show host continued, “This could have huge repercussions. Think about it. The court that just this week crippled unions, upheld Trump’s Muslim ban and race-based gerrymandering…. might turn conservative!” He then warned, “Enjoy your gay marriages now, because as of July 31, you’re back to being roommates.”
Surprisingly, Meyers did not take a “Closer Look” at the Kennedy news. Instead, the Late Night host began his monologue with a plea. “Justice Kennedy, what are you doing retiring, man?” he asked. “You have a great job where you barely work, you get to wear a robe all day and give your opinions on stuff. That basically is retirement. Stick around, at least until we get a new president. Six months, tops.” Cue the accompanying graphic switching to a photo of Special Counsel Robert Mueller.
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