The TNT/TBS-broadcast ceremony began, as it always does, with the traditional “I’m an actor” montage, only this year it only included women, including Mom‘s Allison Janney, black-ish‘s Tracee Ellis Ross and Stranger Things‘ Millie Bobby Brown. The camera then cut to Bell on stage, who finished things off.
“When I was young, I used to record Disney movies onto my cassette player,” she said. “I would sing every lyric in the Disney canon knowing and believing that one day I would be a part of that magic. I am Kristen Bell, and I am a narcissist. Sorry, I am an actor — and tonight, I’m also your host.”
Bell then made her way to centerstage, making note of the fact that she was not only the ceremony’s first-ever host, but its “first lady” host.
“I honestly never thought that I’d grow up to be First Lady, but I kind of like it. I think my first initiative as first lady will be cyber bullying, because I have yet to see any progress on that problem quite yet,” she said. And before you accuse her of taking a swipe at FLOTUS Melania Trump, know that she was talking about Veep‘s Tony Hale.
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Among Bell’s other zingers:
* “I am thrilled to see the cast of GLOW. GLOW, for those of you unfamiliar, is about a tour de force, powerful, strong, thoughtful ladies who get roped into doing Marc Maron’s podcast.”
* “Elisabeth Moss is here from the documentary The Handmaid’s Tale!“
* “The cast from Get Out is here, you guys, serving as a walking reminder that if you say ‘yes’ to the Tea Party, you are immediately on your way to the sunken place. It is just a fact.”
Bell then closed on a more heartfelt note:
“It’s a true privilege to experience and share the wide scope of humanity through storytelling. The skating queen, the grieving mother, the lady bird, even the sea monster… everyone’s story deserves to be told, especially now,” she said. “We are living in a watershed moment, and as we march forward with active momentum and open ears, let’s make sure we’re leading the charge with empathy and diligence, because fear and anger never win the race. And most importantly, regardless of our differences, I think we can all come together and delight in one thing: Frozen 2 is coming out in theaters in 2019, you guys. I’m really excited.”
And with that, we’ll turn it over to you. Grade Bell’s opening via the poll below, then hit the comments to back up your choice!