Arrowverse 'Crisis on Earth-X' Crossover Recap (Night 1): Oh, Hail No! — Plus, Who Was That Waitress?

Arrowverse Crossover Recap

There was much ado just as Barry and Iris went to say “I do” during Night 1 of the Arrowverse’s “Crisis on Earth-X” crossover event.

PART 1 | Following a cold open in which Dark Arrow killed Earth-X’s Guardian/James Olsen while in the pursuit of tech needed for a WMD, much of Monday’s opening hour was otherwise light and breezy and fun, fun, fun, starting with the Flash duo’s scattered superfriends (very) belatedly committing to their RSVPs amid melees with ninjas, medieval grunts and, yes, a Dominator. After besting said alien (who is “so last year”), Kara commiserated more about the alive-but-married Mon-El situation with her sister Alex. When wine-gulping Alex finds the WestAllen invite, the lovelorn ladies immediately think to forgo that brazen exposure to perfect romance — until Kara remembers there is, well, a crossover to do, so she brings Alex along as her plus-1.

The next several scenes were pure joy, as Iris, Felicity, Kara (with her “very strong nails”) and Caitlin went for mani/pedis… Barry and Oliver bro’d it out at the tux shop as it became clear the student is now the teacher (at least when it comes to love)… and then at the rehearsal dinner, where Sara and heartbroken Alex got to know each other some, Barry asked Kara for a favor pegged to their musical “adventure,” and Joe wrecked us all with a toast to the couple of honor, who taught him to love again.

On the Legends side of things, Cisco fine-tuned Stein’s work on a way to safely separate him and Jefferson by creating “The Calm Before the Firestorm.” Stein revealed to Jackson at the dinner that he secretly took that serum a step further and created one of his own that will give his other half powers of his own — if you consider “sticking to things, really well” a power. Jefferson, though, isn’t down about being powerless, he later reveals. He’s sad to be losing Stein, the closest he’s had to a father.

The rehearsal dinner’s only downer: Oliver suggesting to Felicity that they follow Barry and Iris’ lead and make another run at a wedding, to which Felicity, when pushed, too-loudly reiterates, “I don’t want to marry you!”

“The morning after” was exactly that for Alex, who not-quite-sneaked out of Sara’s hotel room after their impetuous, drunken romp to meet up with Kara outside the church. When Sara’s lack of discretion upon seeing “A-a-alex?” quickly revealed their hook-up, Kara urged her sis to feel no shame but see the value in a needed one night stand. (You can weigh in on their hook-up here.) Inside the church, with Mick seated on the side of the couple he didn’t once try to kill, after Barry was wished well by a conspicuously and sweetly fawning cater waitress (played by Secret Circle‘s Jessica Parker Kennedy and whom many speculate to be this possi-SPOILER) and after Kara made us kvell with a performance of “Runnin’ Home to You,” the ceremony got underway, if only for a moment. Because no sooner did the clergyman (played by Greatest American Hero‘s William Katt) ask if any opposed this union than he get evaporated by the deadly peepers of a wedding-crashing Evil Supergirl (who I’m going to go ahead and call Kara-X).

As Joe and Harry rushed Iris and the “regular” guests to safety, Barry, Oliver, Kara, Sara, Alex, Wally, Mick, Caitlin, Firestorm and Cisco slugged it out with Kara-X, Oliver-X, Prometheus-X and their battalion of Nazi henchmen. The fight turned out to be pretty much a wash, though the good guys captured Prometheus-X and Kara (in a pretty dress) did eventually gain the upper hand on her evil doppelganger, whom Oliver-X carried away while urging his troops to fall back. The heroes’ casualties however included Cisco, who was waylaid by a concussion… that I don’t recall seeing happen?

PART 2 | Regrouping at S.T.A.R. Labs, the heroes at first suspect they met up with one of the Legends’ “anachronisms,” or time travelers from the World War II era, but Harry schools them on a 53rd alternative universe, one where Earth-X was ruled by Nazis and thus no one typically speaks its name. Oliver meanwhile went to confront the pipelined Prometheus-X, who was revealed to be an evil Tommy Merlyn! So evil is this Tommy, in fact, that he lulls Oliver into thinking he might flip on his goose-stepping comrades, only to turn his grin into a sneer and blast our Tommy’s BFF for his “pathetic” catering to emotion. Tommy-X then hints that a mission is afoot, before ending his life with a cyanide pill.

When Nazis are spotted at the site of a break-in, Barry and Kara… and eventually Oliver, on his bike… respond and wind up face-to-literal-face with their unmasked counterparts: Oliver-X, Kara-X and, in a twist, our Eobard Thawne. The baddies have already gotten their hands on the mysterious “prism” they came for, and the good guys are unable to stop them from getting away, even after Oliver thwip!s Kara-X with a kryptonite arrow (“In case an evil you ever showed up,” he explains to our Girl of Steel). Instead, the heroes are purposely distracted when Kara-X uses her heat vision to send a nearby building almost toppling.

Afterward, using traceable thingamajigs in the blood left on Oliver’s krypto-arrow — and realizing that this “prism”/sub-light generator can be used for, among other things, creating a neutron bomb — the heroes track the Earth-X villains to a shipping depot, where Oliver, Barry, Kara, Sara, Alex and Firestorm clash with pretty much everyone but Oliver-X, who’s busy sneaking into S.T.A.R. Labs. Felicity and Iris successfully hide, while Dark Arrow bests Heat Wave and Killer Frost (who needs to learn to snap the damn limb off after she flash-freezes it!), and then an arriving Black Canary, Wild Dog and Mr. Terrific.

Meanwhile at the warehouse, Kara-X clobbers Oliver good, and then frickin’ Metallo shows up, paving the way for the baddies to declare victory in that fight. Afterward, with the good guys chained up, we learn that Kara-X — aka Oliver-X’s wife! — is dying, and the only way to save her is through a heart transplant. As such, they will use the “prism” to turn Earth’s sun red, allowing our Kara to be cut into as an unwilling donor.

Oliver & Co. have little time to oppose that agenda, because after Metallo zaps them (or something), they wake up on Earth-X, well-guarded as power-dampened prisoners in, well, a concentration camp.

What did you think of Parts 1 and 2 of the “Crisis on Earth-X”?

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